Ruin Their Stuff
Ruin Their Stuff | 2nd Issue
Greetings and welcome back to the Underworld.
Oh, and congratulations on making it through your first week of haunting. By now, you should have at least learned a thing or two about your targeted life form. If not, well, you better do it soon since it will make your haunting job much easier.
Today’s lesson will be building up from the first:
Ruining the objects they love!
You heard me right. But Ma-damned Underworld, how do we do that? You ask. Well, it’s quite simple, really.
Do you see their favourite planter or cup at the edge of the table or shelf?
Knock. It. Off.
Let it shatter. Watch it fall into a million pieces and witness the panic on your target’s face(s). Harvest that erratic energy that follows after.
Assert the dominance and let them feel your chaotic presence in the room.
I find it much more satisfying when it is their favourite object that falls. The more expensive it is, the better!
Did they say it was antique? Oh, Terrible-Me! Sign me up!
Oh, Darkness Me! It was an heirloom? Jackpot!
It was a one-of-the-kind and irreplaceable? My, my, my, the Heavens must have been smiling upon little old Me because that is the best gift that a Chaos Deity could ever ask for!
Oh, how they would sprint toward the object to catch it―only to slip on the hardwood floor and face plant!
The best part about it is that all their effort would go down the drain since you are off to break more objects! All they could do is helplessly watch it happen.
Just imagine that tear rolling down their cheek and their mouth gaping with their silent screams.
Cats are pro at this since they were born and that is why they are VIPs here in the Underworld.
And oh, a pro-tip? Do it at the most inconvenient times.
Like when they are about to sleep, or in an important meeting, or a job interview! That way, you can maximize their annoyance and harvest the much-needed energy.
Aren’t you starting to love your job yet? If not, well, that is just too bad since you are stuck on this career path. At least here, you get to climb up the Underworld Corporate Ladder and you do not have to worry about breaking rules―there aren’t any.
Good luck and before I leave, here’s another note from Dear Old Luci:
“You apple pudding thief! I am taking this personally.
You have six days to replace my pudding maker and my stolen pudding cups. I will find you. And you will pay.
- Love, Luci xoxo”
Well, that just sounds romantic, Luci. I hope you find your culprit soon. It sure is not me, but I heard that pudding is not great.
May I suggest adding cinnamon and brown sugar? Have you heard of seasoning? The rice was also undercooked. Who taught you this recipe, or are you even following a recipe? Because my love, this is the worst thing that I have ever eat―that the culprit has ever eaten.
You don’t even deserve to have that apple pudding maker. It is wasted on you. Now, I heard Lord Ba.2L has amazing apple pies. You should ask Him for cooking lessons, because my dearest love, you need them!
Anyway, students, see you all at the next lesson and I cannot wait how you will all impress us.
Officially issued by: The Underworld Resources
“Where we put the misery into you.”
***to be continued***
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Hi, I’m CyCy!
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