Rotten in Kentucky
Talk about “beating your meat.”
Warning: If you have a weak stomach, you may prefer to skip this story — but don’t! You’ll want to pass this shit on.
I was searching for something online when I came across a video of a Kentucky man by the name of Derek Nance, who claims he has eaten nothing but raw meat for the last ten years.
He sources out grass-fed sheep and either slaughters them on the owner’s farm, or in his own backyard. Yes. His backyard. But, as the yard is fenced in, Nance believes he’s doing nothing wrong.
Imagine living next to this guy!
Nance, 36, has four children. I can’t believe that at least one of them doesn’t suffer from night terrors, or some other trauma due to Daddy’s fucked-uped-ness.
When I watched the sickening (and shocking) video of this dude gnawing on a bloody sheep leg, I nearly fell off my seat. HOW. CAN. THIS. BE?
Nance claims that “eating raw” (his interpretation of it, anyway) has cured his chronic fatigue syndrome and other relatively common illnesses and viruses left over from childhood.
“Raw is just so much easier for me to digest. And it’s really good. Really flavorful,” Nance said. Yeah. If you’re insane-in-the-brain, I suppose it is.
He also makes smoothies from the organs. I guess he never heard of protein powder and fruit.
The only part of the animal that this strange ranger doesn’t eat is the bladder, as it’s “filled with urine.”
OY TO THE VEY!
This weirdo doesn’t force his kids to eat as he does because, well, that would be child abuse! In fact, social services has paid several visits to his home, but, since Nance doesn’t inflict his bizarre eating habits on the children, no impropriety has been found.
“My daughters will eat some raw meat and they like it and they like drinking eggs, and stuff like that, but I don’t strictly push it on them, they are free to decide,” Nance said.
How magnanimous of him!
Now here’s where it really gets bat-shit crazy: Nance will eat raw meat even if it’s rotten! He fucking chews the mold right off it!
And, (you might want to cover your eyes here), he chows down on the maggots, too.
Let me repeat. Nance picks the maggots off the rotten meat and devours them like they were M&Ms!
And, just to keep the whole raw thing going, Nance brushes his teeth with animal fat.
How this dude ever got a woman to bear his children is anyone’s guess. Can you imagine what it’s like when he breaks wind? Talk about toxic flatulence and clearing out a room!
I’m not sure where wifey went, but he has a vegetarian girlfriend, who is “understanding” of his lifestyle. In other words, she’s nuts, too.
What do the nutritional pros think? In a report on the paleo diet trend, Joy Dubost of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics told the Huffington Post, “Although in theory this may seem like a sensible diet, particularly when removing sugar and salt, it has eliminated several food groups like dairy and grains, which provide essential nutrients such as calcium, vitamin D, magnesium and phosphorus in dairy and B vitamins, fiber and antioxidants in grains.”
I don’t know. Just when you think people can’t get any more crazy than they already are, you bump into a raw-meat-eating, maggot-noshing nutjob like Derek Nance.
Any bets he voted for Trump?
Sherry McGuinn is a longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.
As always, thank you for reading. Here’s something a bit more palatable:
