Roles Versus Labels

We all fulfil numerous roles in life. Two of my many roles in life are that of being a father and a mental health nurse. I take pride in both these roles.

As a father I have a responsibility to my children, myself and society as a whole to raise my children to be happy, healthy and loved. Society as a whole applauds positive parenting. As a mental health nurse, my role is arguably viewed by society as being somewhat of a professional vocation.

There is another role in life I have. And that is I was recently a service user of mental health services. I suffer from depression.

“I am guilty of allowing society to make me feel less comfortable about expressing my pride around the management of my depression.”

On a personal level, I feel I manage my depression as best I can. As I am proud of my role as a father and a mental health nurse, I am equally as proud of how I manage my ongoing mental health difficulties. I am incredibly passionate about challenging society’s stigmatisation of mental health. This is why I write such articles. However, I am guilty of allowing society to make me feel less comfortable about expressing my pride around the management of my depression compared to the pride I take in being a nurse and a father.

“However society unfortunately views, or more appropriately put, attributes being a mental health service user as a label.”

I would argue that being a mental health nurse is seen as being a role within society. However society unfortunately views, or more appropriately put, attributes being a mental health service user as a label.

This is despite the numerous ongoing campaigns that attempt to bring the subject of mental health more into the public domain. There still very much remains a stigma around the subject. And furthermore, in my opinion there is even more of a stigma around men’s mental health.

Prior to writing this article, I reflected on the above points. As a society we are collectively guilty of buying into certain stereotypes. Such viewpoints have been present throughout history. Society views the role of being a man as one of strength, courage and resilience. Phrases such as ‘man up’, ‘be a man’ are neither helpful or supportive in the wrong context.

Rather shockingly The Office of National Statistics reported that 75% of the 6,122 suicides in 2014 were undertaken by men. That equates to an alarming 12 men per day. Statistically, many of these men were not in any ongoing contact with mental health services.

In terms of fatherhood, men are encouraged to be ‘hands on’ and rightly so, why not? However from my own experiences, (that are far beyond the scope of this article) I am all too aware of the disparity between men and women in child custody issues following separation or divorce.

From my own lived experience in managing my depression I know how dark and all-consuming such a condition can become. From my professional experience as a mental health nurse on an acute psychiatric ward I have seen far too many men in an arguably unnecessary acute crisis. Simply seeking help when already in crisis. This I feel is due to the unrealistic expectation to be strong, courageous and resilient enough to face even the most debilitating psychiatric conditions.

Labels when used and attributed appropriately have a use, they most certainly do. They signpost individuals to support networks and services. However stereotypes, misplaced perceptions and outdated generalisations will continue for as long as we allow it.

I feel that we all have a social responsibility and moral obligation to turn such terminology around to our advantage. Language by its very nature evolves over time, as do societal values and expectations.

To conclude, I am a father, a nurse and someone that lives with depression. I am proud of all these roles.

Sally Brampton, the English, journalist and writer once said “bad enough to be ill, but to feel compelled to deny the very thing that, in its worst and most active state, defines you is agony indeed.”