FAMILY
6 Timeless Traits Of Family Leadership — The Most Important Job You’ll Ever Have
How to foster an environment of learning, achievement, and healthy life values
A century ago, family leadership was an obvious component in nearly every home.
The family patriarch was respected for his wisdom and experience. He made the decisions concerning the family’s finances, and where and how the family would live.
Today, the effects of divorce, single parents, and adult children living under their parents’ roof have altered the traditional hierarchy. But regardless of circumstances, families need leaders. They need someone to turn to when problems and decisions seem overwhelming, especially teens and young adults who need the advice of those who can offer a different — and often more accurate — perspective based on life experience, education, and wisdom.
Most important, the right kind of leadership fosters an environment of learning, achievement, and healthy life values, leaving its influence for generations to come.
What makes a good family leader? Here are 6 timeless traits:
1. They know what they want to do
They show other family members the power of having goals, and display their talents for setting priorities and determining what’s important in life.
They make decisions after weighing the risk against the reward, and they never hesitate to explain their logic to family members. By demonstrating the power of focus — and the value of putting maximum effort toward a desirable objective — they provide an ongoing example of pursuing a worthy life objective.
2. They encourage and provide instruction, but they inspire others to think for themselves
They urge family members to be innovative and find solutions to their own problems. All good leaders know their main job is to inspire and motivate others to become independent and self-sufficient, because they know their time — and influence — is limited. They won’t be around forever.
3. They continue to learn (and teach) new lessons
They apply great examples from history, explaining how the actions of others can be applied to today’s problems and situations. And they emphasize the value in learning from the mistakes as well as the successes of those who lived before us.
4. They set an example both inside and outside the family
There are no “days off” for a leader. Their lives are in constant view of family, friends, and co-workers all day, every day. And they conduct themselves as if their most impressionable student is always by their side. Their character and intentions are constantly demonstrated in their behavior — because someone is always watching.
5. They ask for excellence
They expect family members to make their best efforts at everything they do. Winning or losing makes little difference to a real leader, knowing it’s the effort that should receive recognition.
6. They appreciate and treat others as individuals
When approached for advice, they listen without judgment or criticism, offering solution-based suggestions and guidance that acknowledges each person’s strengths and weaknesses. They know that making comparisons to other family members can breed contempt and frustration. Instead, they recognize the talent and ability of each individual, encouraging them to perform at their “personal best.”
I’ll leave you with this
You can’t force it.
Leadership fostered from fear, threats, or bribery won’t create the same results as those produced by someone who is liked and respected. An effective family leader is humble, never “throne-sitting” or demanding.
To be effective, a leader’s ability must be recognized by those who stand to benefit from it the most.
© 2021 Roger A. Reid. All Rights Reserved.
Roger A. Reid is the author of Better Mondays and Speak Up.
Roger A. Reid, Ph.D. is the host of Success Point 360 Podcast and author of Better Mondays and Speak Up. A certified NLP trainer with degrees in engineering and business, Roger offers tips and strategies for achieving higher levels of career success and personal fulfillment in the real world.
