Rockstar, Romance, Erotica

Rocky Road to Christmas Part 2

They shared an adventure backstage, but how much does she really mean to him?

Marissa was invited backstage by her idol Lars from the band Danger Pitch, but how much did she really mean to him?

Life returned to normal. I returned to my work as a call center employee. No, it wasn’t the best job, but I needed to pay my rent. One day I would return to college and get a degree. In the meantime I followed Danger Pitch’s every move on social media. Someone had posted a video of a live performance of ‘Alaska Loves’ on YouTube, which I watched every day. Lars sang it with so much emotion and depth. I still got goosebumps from his performance. Not least because some of his expressions while singing were the same as the ones I had caused on him during our one night together. Day after day it brought back memories of the most perfect evening of my life.

I tried reaching out to him. I had sent him a private message on Facebook, I had posted on his wall, I had sent him an e-mail. But I never heard anything. That was as I had expected. He probably had his fun with a different girl every night. It saddened me, of course. I had hoped to be extra special somehow. I returned to being a regular fangirl.

Two months later, on the 14th of October, Danger Pitch gave a concert in a town close by. I thought about it long and hard, but yes, I bought a ticket. None of my friends were available to accompany me. That was a shame, but I went anyway. I had to see Lars again.

It was a dreary evening out. I even saw some lightning flashes on the the road to the venue. I hoped it wasn’t a bad omen for the night to come.

I managed to end up front row. I sneaked past people and pushed some away until I was in the perfect position to watch Danger Pitch’ show. If I thought I had gotten goosebumps from watching the clips online, now my whole body was shuddering with excitement.

The first tones of their music filled my entire body. During their first song I was so excited I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I cheered and sang along and laughed at every stupid joke Lars told the crowd.

‘Alaska Loves’ began. I held my breath. The intro-music made my skin tingle. Tears welled in my eyes. When Lars began to sing, I couldn’t hold them back, and they streamed down my face. And Lars saw it. He saw me.

‘Cold love that will never melt

Even though the heat tears away my heart’

During those lines he looked at me. I nodded and cried. He must have seen it. He surely sang it especially for me.

Their next song was upbeat. I swallowed hard and swiped at my cheeks. I had not imagined it. That could not be. We did have a connection. The rest of the set Lars avoided looking at me. I don’t know how he managed it, but he did. I enjoyed their show. I still loved their music and their performance was outstanding.

After the show I stayed near the stage like I had done the previous time. I longed to talk to Lars, I needed to tell him how I felt.

Ten minutes later he finally came out. He glanced uncomfortably in my direction. Like last time, I waited until most fans received their signatures and selfies from him. But before I could make my move, he linked arms with some light-blond girl and made his way to backstage.

“Lars!” I exclaimed. I couldn’t let him walk away.

He turned around, our eyes met then cast his eyes down. He shook his head in the shortest of moves. Erica walked up to him and practically pushed him to the door. She looked back with a nasty glance at me.

I made my way to the exit. Tears clouded my vision. In a daze I returned to my car. All I could see was Lars shaking his head, rejecting me. I knew deep down that there was more between Lars and me. But he had denied me, opting for the flighty girl on his arm. Maybe this was a lost fight after all. I should forget Lars from Danger Pitch and continue with my life without him. But my love, even cold, would never melt for him.

It was hard, forgetting about Lars. It was impossible to erase him from my heart, no matter how hard I tried. I did not look at his YouTube clips anymore, I unfollowed him on Facebook. But I still heard the band’s songs on the radio. He still popped up on my recommendations on YouTube. And I missed him.

But I soldiered on. I went to work and I even started to look into college courses that I could begin in the new year. Because it was getting to that time of year.

I made plans to be with my father this year. He still lived in Nevada where I had been born and had grown up. I’d moved to New York when I was fifteen because my mother decided she wanted to start a new life with a guy she had met online. Their relationship failed, but we continued to live there. I had gotten new friends and I now worked there. I enjoyed the bustle of the city versus the small town in which I had grown up.

I had gone back to my father’s place a couple of times since we moved across country. We had decided to come together for Christmas, so I could also get to meet his new wife. Apparently they had eloped to Vegas to get married, without any relatives. Whatever rocked their boat. I had seen their Facebook selfies and she looked like a nice enough woman. And the happy smile on my father’s face was real. I could tell that much. I was excited to meet her.

My plane left early on the 24th. Luckily I had been smart enough to buy my ticket months ahead but even then it had cost me almost all of my savings.

I parked my car at JFK airport an hour and a half before boarding time. I took my heavy backpack out of the trunk. It had been a hassle, but I had been able to shove it all into one bag, including all my nice clothes to wear at Christmas dinner.

I hurried inside the airport. The wind was hurting my cheeks and some flecks of snow landed on my jacket. A huge decorative airplane hanging in the air of the big hall greeted me. It was lavishly decked out with mini lights. Seeing these lights always gave me a warm feeling inside. Even the radio was playing Christmas carols.

The people around me weren’t that warm and fuzzy. Everyone was panicky, trying to find the right gate. I heard more than one passenger screaming at an airline employee that they needed to get this flight, they had to be home for Christmas! I shook my head and walked steadily on to my gate. Of course I hoped my flight would depart on time and that I would be able to hug my father that evening, but the poor woman behind the counter would not be able to make the plane fly in case of a delay.

I checked in and slumped down on one of the chairs in the back row of the waiting area. I put in my ear buds and started to play some music. Anything but Danger Pitch would do. Even though Lars was on my mind a lot of the time, I didn’t want to be confronted with his perfect voice right then.

To kill the time I looked at the people checking in. Parents with young whiney children, retirees, business men and women. It was beyond me why they would still be in their business attire during the holidays, but then again, some people did not want to wear anything else.

Close to the departure time a man and woman came running up and checked in. I shook my head. There were always those who came late. I smirked to myself. The guy even looked a little bit like Lars. Same hairdo, same style of clothing - tight jeans and leather jacket. My heart began racing. It was Lars! And the woman he was with was Erica. She was close to him, too close, whispering into his ear. He smiled in response.

I sunk even further down in my chair. My cheeks were burning hot. What was he doing here? I so hoped he was here for another flight. Please, not for mine. I kept my gaze down. I did not want to see the two lovers together, because it was clear that was what they were. Erica was adjusting the collar of his jacket, wiping smudges off his face with a tissue. Lars let it all happen. He made no attempts to push her away. It was clear that they were an item.

I swallowed away my disappointment. I knew I was just a fangirl. I knew I had read too much into the eye contact we had shared at the concert, that the connection I had felt with him on our night together had been just that. Just one night.

It was time to board the plane. Lars and Erica were also on my flight. I waited until they had vanished into the plane before I followed them. My guess was that they were in first class, so I passed that section as quickly as possible without looking. I sat down in my chair in the aisle seat and held my backpack on my lap so as not to block the pathway for the other passengers.

I took out my Kindle and focused very hard on reading the romance I was currently into. It didn’t work. Knowing that Lars was so close was breaking me. He’s not for you, Marissa, I kept telling myself. He will be happy with his fellow musician.

After most passengers had passed by, I stood up and placed my bag in the overhead compartment. Since it was going to be a long flight, I flicked through the movie options in the in-flight entertainment system, shunning the romances. In my mind I kept seeing Erica leaning in close to Lars, how intimate they seemed to be. Something with action or intrigue would be a better choice to watch. I opted for ‘Ocean’s Twelve’. Maybe a handsome Brad Pitt could take my mind off things. In part my plan worked. The movie distracted me for a little while and, even better, before it ended I had fallen asleep.

I was roused by a heavy rumbling from the plane. I was awake in an instant. The passengers around me looked panicked. The flight attendants were walking to and fro. One comforted the little boy sitting on the other side of the aisle, one row before me. “Everything’s all right. The pilot has everything under control.” The plane shook even harder and I glimpsed shock underneath her professional exterior. She hurried to the front of the plane.

My heart was racing by now. I fiddled with my thumbs and chewed my lips. This was not how it was going to end, was it? The woman next to me smiled at me uneasily.

To be continued…

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