LIFE LESSONS|BLOOPERS AND BLUNDERS

Roasting (Embarrassing) My Butt Over An Open Fire

Don’t tell me you’ve never had this happen, especially when you were young(er)

Misty Rae published a story yesterday in which she shared this at the end:

I’m sure there were other things I got wrong, but I’ll leave it there for now. I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day. But I would be curious to know what sayings, song lyrics, etc. you got wrong. So how about it?

Drop me a line in the comments and share some of them with me. Or better yet, write a story about them.

I could relate to one saying in particular that she write about:

Six in One Half — A Dozen in the Other: This was another popular idiom in my house. When said and understood properly, as in six of one, half a dozen of the other, it means it’s all pretty much the same. If there are 2 choices, they’re both as good as the other. If there’s an argument, both sides are essentially equal.

But what I heard was six in one half, a dozen in the other.

I got the gist of it when people said it, but it was very confusing to me as a child because it was said differently by various people. Eventually, as a teenager I asked a friend to say it to me slowly (no one in my family said it). Then I finally got it.

Before the Internet, which was the entire first two decades of my life, I used to sing countless songs with made up lyrics.

They sounded pretty damn good to me!

The funniest story, and first story, that came to mind after I finished reading Misty’s article is the day when my mom asked me about the song lyrics to Da Butt.

I was dancing and singing along with the song in my bedroom while cleaning up when my mom came in and asked me, in a tone that made me think something was wrong…

“What are they saying?? ….what EXACTLY are they doing in the butt?”

I was mortified…I didn’t know what they were really saying, nor did I care.

The fact that my mom suddenly cared about my music, AND was asking me about lyrics to a song that I was clearly feeling, made me stop and think about it.

She’s the one who brought the song to my awareness by watching Spike Lee’s film, School Daze, in which the real life group perform it on stage. The college students in it are at a huge party living it up!

I told her what I knew, which was that “Da Butt” was a dance…one where you bend over, stick your butt up in the air…and dance.

I was 13 years old.

Here are the lyrics to the chorus (which I couldn’t just look up):

Doin’ the butt Hey pretty, pretty When you get that notion, put your backfield in motion, hey Doin’ the butt Hey sexy, sexy Ain’t nothing wrong If you want to do the butt all night long

I thought it went something like, “When you get that notion, put your butt here in motion.”

I hadn’t thought twice about what the actual lyrics to were. It was pure ridiculous fun- while it lasted.

Although I did start to think, “Why would my mom ask me that? What can people really do ‘in the butt’? Of course it’s dancing…duh!?”

However, I decided not to say that out loud.

Despite loving the movie, School Daze, my mom didn’t want me listening to nor dancing to that song anymore.

I can think of few other songs or instances in particular where I botched up the lyrics, but I know that there are plenty!

Michael Jackson was my first celebrity crush and some of his song lyrics remained a mystery to me for many, many years:

You Wanna Be Starting Something

Don’t Stop ’Til You Get Enough (This one especially!!!)

• My version: “Keep on…..something, something stop, don’t stop ’til you get enough…”
• In reality: “Keep on, when the force starts, don’t stop ’til you get enough…”
• Never really understand the verses, but it didn’t stop me from singing along!

Workin’ Day and Night

Thriller

Say, Say, Say (with Paul McCartney)

You get the point.

For me, the worst mistakes that I regularly made in regard to using words was pronouncing some of them incorrectly for a long time.

I pronounced:

• “bouleVard” like “bouleBard”
• “libRary” like “libary”
• “FebRuary” like “Febuary” (I thought to myself, “Were those “r”s always there??”)
• “OfTen” threw me for a loop when I THOUGHT that I was being more articulate when speaking to others by PRONOUNCING the “t”, when the “t” is silent…

Fucking English….

Now that I’m teaching the English language, I have even more compassion and respect for those who are learning it. It can be confusing as hell!?

This all made me think of what are called, Old Wives Tales that I heard a LOT in my family while growing up.

I still have to remind myself and genuinely be okay with the fact that having a hat on the bed is perfectly okay!

• No splitting poles
• No walking under ladders
• To drop a certain utensil meant a certain gender would stop by

If you drop a fork, a woman will come to visit. A knife, a man will come to visit. A spoon, a child will come visit.

I believed them ALL (or most, didn’t know them all)!!!

Now I do not.

However, I am curious about what superstitions or Old Wives Tales that others were raised to believe and which ones are still followed.

Please share.

I care.

MN, Nathalie Clair, Alan Asnen, Alexandra Christensen, Tim Wise, JA Vassili, JS Adam, Gerald Washington, Misty Rae, Jason Cameron, Denise M. Day, Richard Steele I’m all eyes.

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