Risks That Grow Us
New types of risks- Guest prompt Riku Arikiri

Do you willingly take risks, knowing you might fail regarding matters of love?
My first answer when thinking about this question was, yes! I willingly take risks, knowing I might fail regarding matters of love.
I do, and always have.
I remember asking out a boy at school and him rejecting me. It hurt to be rejected, but it never seemed to stop me from trying.
But then I thought about the prompt for a little longer.
I think I have tended to take the same risks in love over and over and not expanded the types of risks I have taken. This is because of my trauma patterns and underlying wounds, and I wasn’t ready to address them in the past.
I have always been a girl to take risks in love- but they did have one thing in common. It wasn’t rejection I feared- but acceptance.
My risks were always centered around repeating styles of relationships and love dynamics that made me comfortable. Not so risky after all- I guess.
What is comfortable for us is most definitely not always healthy. And this was true for me in many ways in the past when it came to love and relationships.
I must admit writing this is confronting, soul-bearing and powerfully affirming.
What has scared me for longer than I could remember was love being steady, consistent, and reciprocal. I have always been a seeker of passionate exciting love dynamics, but now I can recognize the roots of these patterns in past traumas. Many of these wounds I have healed and continue to work on healing. It’s an ongoing process.
People have told me I was brave in love. I pursued people if I was interested in them. I asked people out if I liked them. It never made sense to me the ‘shoulds’ of gender roles or the social rules people abide by in relationships. Though now that I think about it, In my past I spent a long time chasing love from others that couldn’t give it to me.
I am shifting this pattern now.
I have done enough work to recognize the undoing's of my past. I can now see the side of myself that sabotages connections by trying too hard, people-pleasing and feeling not enough.
I am enough and truly feel this now. I love myself now and the risks I take in love will look different now. I will risk investing in relationships that are steady, consistent, and reciprocal.
I have had to build my inner stability up to a point I no longer need to seek other people’s validation. But I must remember this doesn’t mean I can’t accept love or giving loving relationships. I have also done a lot of work on opening myself up to receiving. And my self-love and inner-stability doesn’t mean I don’t need love in my life- We all do.
Love becomes more abundant and free flowing when you love yourself first.
I am being courageous now and levelling up my maturity, and I am excited to be changing the risks I am taking in matters of love.
Now I will risk being my true self above everything else.
Now I will risk saying no. Creating boundaries.
I won’t settle for anything or anyone disrespectful.
I will risk being seen and rejected. Being heard and rejected. But I will release this cycle of rejection/validation, chasing and running.
And most of all I will risk being seen, heard, and accepted. Because this can be the scariest one of all.
Failing in love never scared me as much as progress in love. But this is the new path I am on. Becoming more open, vulnerable, honest, and compassionate to myself and those around me.
Sometimes I forget fear doesn’t need to be a part of that equation anymore. I forget I have done enough internal work to release a lot of it. It will resurface sometimes to shed light on another past wound that needs more tending to.
Fear needn’t be the main player on the stage of love for me anymore.
Thank you Riku Arikiri for this wonderful prompt💕👏🙏. There is a lot to consider and express from thinking about this. Also Thank you Diana C. for facilitating the brilliant guest prompts 🥰💕👏!!
