Riding the Waves of Depression
Sadness or depression — feelings of not being wanted or loved or of loss, it can come across us like waves washing over us. Some of us have truly struggled and have had a tidal wave of feeling lost or alone, and have managed to break through that.
What to do when that small or large wave of depression laps over you or crashes over you when you least want it?
Speaking from my own personal experience over 55 years, this is what I do.
First I own the feeling. It’s important to me to acknowledge it and to let myself feel gloomy or sad.
Next it depends upon the degree or strength of the feeling. You know yourself. If you are really stressed or upset and depressed, seek help or ride it out without danger to yourself or anything else, having analyzed why you feel the way you do. I’m sure you will know why you are depressed.
If it is due to not being understood or supported in a close relationship, it may help to think or write out what just happened to YOU or in your mind. The stage has been set and your opinions of what he or she should have done or said are important. This will help you work out your values and you can then start working out or completing the identification of which values are most important to you.
If you feel no positive return forthcoming from the other person, take time out to listen to some music that you like, with a glass of wine or other (if you drink) or meditate and let “time” pass, or go for a walk or talk out loud to yourself where it’s safe to do so. Have a conversation with yourself if that helps or write notes.
Don’t go to bed feeling extremely sorry for yourself. This is because you still have to process or work upon your feelings and what caused them. You can lay in your bed and logically and as un-emotionally as you can, process what has just happened. If you need to rest first then process or understand what just happened, by all means sleep first to refresh yourself, then work on what happened.
Understand that other feelings go with the depression, like frustration, anger and fright or worry. As I have trodden my Journey I have had moments where I will feel like screaming and feel very upset, and have hunkered down, hurt, alone and depressed. If this happens to you, it is very important to remember that YOU ARE OKAY, nobody is at fault unless the other person is purposely or out rightly nasty or violent toward you.
Even if the other person is being ignorant or not respecting or understanding you, let the resultant depression wash over you and clean out any negative thoughts you have of yourself. It helped me when this happened, to think about positive or constructive actions that I could possibly take, like apply for a job somewhere else and move out and live with my sister.
If it is depression over a person or something close to you that you have lost, acknowledge your feelings fully. Cry if you do. Write about the good times you had with that person if it helps or think about it or speak it out aloud. Tell someone you’re feeling sad and let them cheer you up.
If it helps, honor that person or connection by setting up or re-arranging a tribute or a remembrance of them, photos and writing and objects or living things that remind of you the good times. Sit or stand in front of it or just use your imagination and tell the person that you will always love them, tell them how you feel without them, and ask them to be with you or by your side in Spirit.
If you are feeling depressed because of things that happen in the world or that have affected those or things that you personally know, acknowledge this feeling, and know that depression is part of feeling sad. This Table here shows 4 groups of feelings (sad / happy / angry / scared).
Say to yourself silently or out loud or tell someone online or via an email or in person that you are sad because of the crap that is going on in the World or specify why, if there’s a particular issue you’re concerned with. Say to yourself:
I am a Wonderful person
Understand that this depression is because you CARE and look at your personal achievements, small and great to remind yourself that you have the ability and the character to HELP make the World a better place. Understand that Life is incremental. Cherish and respect the small “wins” or all the positives and supportive things that you receive.
I had to learn to accept compliments and now I am so happy for the “small” as well as the “big”, e.g. one clap or applause on any one of my Medium stories gives me a glow of satisfaction and a feeling that 1 person has read what I offered and appreciates it, and that because any one person is connected to everything else that is, this is really a fractal or a part reflecting the whole. The spark of potential is there in just one reaction and HOPE springs eternal in the field of possibilities.
Learn from and get support from others, for example I found the Story below by Jeffrey Erkelens helpful.
It’s perfectly okay to ask for help from or within trusted groups or from individuals. Reach out and extend yourself, be brave and trust yourself and liaise or network or chat with people you come across that you like, or would like to be friends with.
Remember the unspoken rules though — respect and resilience. We are here to guide or to suggest and to absorb and integrate and use what is helpful to each one of us, not to rely upon a “guru” or to demand from another or to try to force our viewpoints or philosophies upon another.
Ride the waves by understanding and acknowledging what has happened, and by continuously refining your coping strategies, and above all by honoring yourself, and the waves will diminish and become more manageable. Treat them as your ally or “friend” showing you that you care, and NEVER give up on yourself or on living a Life worth the journey. If you believe in the infinite field of possibilities and take concrete action steps to live well, you can ride the wave of depression.