Retirement Life: The Loneliness Epidemic

Summary

The article discusses the prevalence of loneliness among retirees, with a personal account of a man named Mike who is struggling with the loss of his wife.

Abstract

The author of the article visits Mike, a retiree who has been widowed after 52 years of marriage, to offer comfort and understand the impact of loneliness on the elderly. The article highlights that loneliness is a common issue among seniors, with many experiencing it at least once a week. While the author acknowledges the severity of loneliness, they question the notion that one should plan for loneliness in retirement as much as financial planning, as suggested in a Kiplinger article. The author reflects on their own experiences with loneliness post-divorce and argues that loneliness is a normal part of life that cannot be planned for like financial matters. The article concludes by emphasizing that while loneliness is a significant issue, especially for those like Mike, the immediate concern for many is financial stability rather than emotional well-being.

Opinions

The author believes that loneliness in retirement is not an epidemic but rather a normal part of life that everyone experiences occasionally.
The author is skeptical about the need to plan for loneliness in the same way one plans for finances in retirement.
There is a disagreement with the Kiplinger article's assertion that loneliness should be planned for in retirement, considering it an overstatement.
The author acknowledges that loneliness can be debilitating but does not view it as a problem that requires the same level of preparation as financial planning.
The author emphasizes that while loneliness is a concern, the primary worry for many, especially retirees, is the ability to pay bills and maintain financial stability.

Retirement Life: The Loneliness Epidemic

Myself, along with members of my coffee club, visited a man who lost his wife to complications from cancer surgery. She was 78 and he is 79. They had been married for 52 years. She passed away in November of last year. As you can imagine, “Mike” was still dealing with her death and the loneliness of being suddenly by yourself after 52 years of marriage. I can't imagine being married for that long. But Mike and Mattie made it work. Add to it that Mike’s children lived about 1500 miles away. Mike is one more of the number of seniors who face loneliness at some point in their lives. Some have no family at all. I’m about at that point myself. I seem to be outliving everyone in my family.

Mike is just one of a growing number of retirees who experience loneliness on some level. An article on Kiplinger emphasized that you should plan for loneliness in retirement as much as you do for the financial aspect of retirement. On the surface, I can’t say I agree with that assessment. A line from the article states, “The numbers are alarming; more than one-third of older adults experience feelings of loneliness at least once a week.” I don’t see that as an epidemic. It seems they are overstating their case. But maybe that’s just me.

I don’t see how you can plan for loneliness in retirement. After reading the entire article, I don’t see how you can plan for something like that. I think everyone—retirees, workers, and children—feels lonely at some point during the week. That just seems normal to me. It could be while studying, sitting as the only patient at your doctor’s office and, well, I could go on spouting more nonsense.

While I agree that loneliness can be debilitating to people, especially seniors, I don’t see it as something that should be carefully planned for as much as you do financially for retirement. To be sure, as I have discussed in other articles, loneliness is a problem for retirees and should be treated in some form. After I was divorced, I found out what loneliness was all about. It seemed everyone abandoned me. But I never felt that it was a major problem, as the writer of the article linked seems to indicate.

Hell, I feel lonely more than once a week. Lots of people feel that way. But it’s not something that controls me. There are people who prefer to be alone. Naturally, they are going to feel lonely. But this is the life they chose and who are we to say they are suffering? Granted, the majority of lonely people suffer. But my point is this article went too far when they say you need to plan for loneliness in retirement as well as financially. There are no 401ks for investing in future loneliness.

I hope I haven’t minimized the effect loneliness can have on people, particularly retirees who are alone now, like Mike. But the truth is, people today are more worried about paying their bills than they are about being lonely.