Restoring Gratitude in a Dark World

Fictional short story #29

It was the Friday before Thanksgiving that Alex’s dad and stepmom flew in from Newfoundland for the weekend. It would be the first Thanksgiving they’d be spending with us, and my mom was looking forward to cooking a nice meal that would bring us all together.

Alex’s parents were due to arrive at 5:30 PM and I’d promised Alex I’d be his copilot on the drive to the airport to pick them up. He finished work at 3:30 and was planning on leaving shortly after.

I said goodbye to my last patient of the day just after 3 PM, finished up my charting, and gathered my belongings as quickly as possible. Though I’d been stressed about getting out on time, it was when I finally got myself out the door that my anxiety truly erupted.

On my way to the car, I gave myself a mini pep talk.

You’ve got this.

You’re so damn blessed. Make the most of it! Soak up as much of your family as you can.

You can do it! With enough social timeouts to recharge, that is.

I chuckled at my teasing inner voice and re-centered my attention on driving through the increasingly stormy weather. The sky was a dark gray and the wind was so powerful I could hear it beating up the trees. The ground was green with leaf litter and the rain was coming down heavily. As the trees were whipped around by the strong winds, my mind was spun around like a tornado, and my anxious thoughts became increasingly difficult to control. Though I was nervous at the thought of Alex’s parents flying in such wild weather, I was just as terrified by the socially demanding weekend ahead of me.

As soon as I arrived home from the clinic, Alex appeared with a warm smile on his face. I returned his smile with a halfhearted one of my own. My eyes glazed over and my mouth erupted into a massive yawn. Alex saw the heaviness in my eyes and started massaging my shoulders. “You look exhausted, babe, and I’m sure you had a full day. Why don’t I pick up my parents from the airport and you take some alone time to unwind and recharge before the house is full?”

I nodded, relieved he understood. “The way you get in my head is kinda creepy sometimes. In the best way possible, of course.”

Alex chuckled. “I take great pride in that,” he said, running his fingers through my hair and bringing my lips to his. “Anyhow, I should be back in a couple of hours. I’ll text you when we’re on our way home from the airport!”

“Okay… drive safe! The winds are getting strong out there! I’ll be keeping my fingers and toes crossed that your parents land safely…”

I grabbed my novel and fuzzy blanket and curled up on the couch.

About 90 minutes later, I felt my phone vibrate next to me. It was the message from Alex I’d been waiting for.

Alex: Hey love, just picked up my parents and we’re leaving the airport now. They had a wild ride, but they’re in one piece! Me: OK, glad to hear they landed safely. See you soon!

An hour later, Alex’s stepmom, Stella, stepped through our front door looking white as a sheet. She was gripping his dad’s arm to keep herself steady. Alex’s dad seemed to be benefiting from the physical support too, though he was trying not to show it. Despite looking like they’d been put through a heavy-duty wash cycle, their eyes lit up and their lips formed weak but tender smiles when they saw me. Despite the social butterflies in my stomach, my lips ignited into a warm smile too, and I felt an unusual sense of calmness flood my insides. Alex’s parents emitted a comforting energy, much like Alex himself. I never felt pressure to act a certain way or overpass my social limits when they were around. They were easygoing, simple people, and I loved them dearly.

“It sounds like you guys had quite the bumpy ride,” I said, feeling slightly awkward. I’d spent the afternoon in my book, away from the world, and still hadn’t quite reacclimatized to the sound of my voice. I was like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Can’t say Stella and I have ever seen that many people throw up in plane sight,” Alex’s dad said with a mischievous smirk on his face.

“Oh gosh,” I said, with a shudder. “You’d think they would’ve just canceled the flight if they expected the turbulence to be that bad!” The thought of people throwing up around me without me being able to get away sounded like hell. I was so horrified it took me a moment to realize Alex and Stella were chuckling.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“That’s my dad’s punniness for you… he’s always finding ways to be goofy,” Alex replied, shaking his head. “You sure know how to make light of dark situations,” he said to his dad.

“Well, what can I say, son? I guess I’m still feeling a little disturbed. That ride was a plane shitstorm!” he said, winking at me. “Did ya get it that time, Annabelle?”

I nodded, bursting into giggles. Alex’s dad was incredibly skilled at sprinkling humor into his interactions, and I loved the way his blue eyes sparkled and his beard twitched when he knew he was being silly. I was excited for the day Alex and I had a baby. The thought of his dad being a Grampy to our kids made my heart happy.

After Alex’s dad and stepmom got settled in the spare bedroom, we reconvened in the living room.

Just as Alex started mixing drinks, a strong gust of wind shook the house, and the lights went out. The only sounds that infiltrated the darkness were those of the howling wind lashing against the trees outside and the rain pelting against the house. I looked out the window and saw the entire street cloaked in darkness.

Stella eyed Alex’s father. “Well, I can’t speak for about David, but I’m gonna call it a night,” she said.

David nodded in agreement. “We’re pretty exhausted, and sleep is one of the things we do best when the lights go out!” David responded with a twinkle in his eye.

After his parents retired, Alex lit some candles while I plopped on the living room couch with my novel. He grabbed his sketchpad and one of our fuzzy blankets and curled up next to me.

“I guess our evening will be much quieter — and darker — than we expected,” Alex said with a sigh.

“Yeah, it’s a shame,” I said, unable to keep the relief from coloring my face.

Alex flashed me a knowing smile. “I’m glad we get some time just for us, even if it’s in the dark.”

“It might be dark outside, but my heart is never dark when you’re next to me,” I replied, snuggling closer to him.

The blackout lasted a surprisingly long time given that we lived on the same grid as the children’s hospital. Despite the upheaval caused by the hurricane and loss of power, however, I was grateful for the darkness. It gave me the opportunity to get lots of reading done and we played several candle-lit games of Scrabble, Rummy, and Crib with Alex’s parents. My parents even joined in too, and we all had some great candle-lit conversations in the dark. In the dark, I didn’t have to worry as much about making eye contact and reading body language, which made it easier to let loose and enjoy the company of the people around me. And there was nothing like some time in the dark to make me appreciate the light.

On Sunday around noon, the lights finally flickered back on and the electrical devices in our apartment started their chorus of whirring. It was like the electrons were running through our wires singing, “Hello, hello, back to work we go,” as they brought our apartment back to light.

I went upstairs to the top two floors of the house, where my parents lived, to check on my mom. I found her pacing the kitchen in dismay, repeatedly shaking her head. Even though our planned Thanksgiving dinner was only a few hours away, I could tell she was still entertaining the thought of cooking a Thanksgiving meal for six in the impossibly short time that was left.

“Please don’t fret, Mum.” I patted her arm. “I think we should take it easy for the afternoon. Why don’t we go out for Thanksgiving dinner?”

My mom hung her head and nodded shamefully. “I was really looking forward to bringing our new little family together for Thanksgiving… but I just don’t think I can make it happen this year.”

I pulled her into a tight hug. “You’re getting yourself all worked up. You not making a meal for us doesn’t mean this Thanksgiving wasn’t a success in bringing us together! Ι know this will sound cheesy, but it’s not the home-cooked meal that’s important — it’s the time we spend with each other. Plus, we’re safe, we’re healthy, and we have light again! What more could we ask for? We already have SO much to be grateful for.”

My mom nodded, her eyes brimming with tears. “Why are you crying?” I asked, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Everything’s gonna be okay!”

“I know, ma belle. I’m just shocked at how far you’ve come. You’re finally in a place where you can be the level-headed one when I need you to be. And that’s all because you’ve learned, first and foremost, how to be there for yourself, how to show your body the love and respect it deserves…” She wiped her eyes before continuing. “And THAT… that is the biggest thing I’m grateful for this year.”