Resistance Is Like a Little Gremlin

Use these 4 practices to break its fiendish grip

The gremlin of resistance

We all want to grow, but we also resist change. In some respects, resistance is the natural state of biological survival, compelling us to cling to what is known and safe over what is new and may expose us to danger. Psychologically, this is known as status quo bias.

But when change is something we want, we’re challenged by the unconscious power of resistance, which doesn’t want us to know when or how it’s applying the brakes.

Resistance is like a little gremlin that wants to do its work in private, sabotaging our progress and keeping us the same, but remaining off the radar of our attention.

One of the most common disguises that resistance uses is avoidance. When we avoid people, places, and circumstances, and deny our desires and needs—resistance gets its way.

The first step in overcoming obstacles to personal change is learning to spot and acknowledge the feelings of resistance when they arise.

These 4 feelings in your body are a sign that resistance is active in your mind

If you want to know when your forward movement is in jeopardy, keep an eye out for the moments when you’re feeling:

• Stuck
• Overwhelmed
• Distracted
• Disconnected

Feeling stuck before we even start, overwhelmed with our circumstances and responsibilities, distracted from what’s most important, and disconnected from others are all indicators of resistance.

The feelings are daunting and uncomfortable, compelling us to avoid any awareness of them, which only further ensures their presence.

4 practices you can use to escape resistance and avoidance

1. When you’re feeling stuck: Identify any area of your life that you’ve been engaging as a spectator and either get on the playing field or stop watching. An example could be a sport you watch but don’t participate in, meetings you attend but don’t contribute to, or online articles you read without commenting on or sharing. A commitment to fully participate in these types of circumstances or move on will help you move your energy in the direction of taking action. I made this decision several months ago as a blogger after I had been reading for a few years but not writing. I decided I would write at least 3 articles a week or quit the platform.
2. When you’re feeling overwhelmed: Use common strategies that facilitate decision-making to reduce the burden of unresolved choices. Gather missing information, learn to trust your intuition and make “good enough” decisions, turn decisions into routines, and create decision deadlines to reduce overthinking. This article was originally part of one long article I was feeling very daunted by. I decided to cut it in half and create two separate articles. That decision immediately reduced my sense of overwhelm.
3. When you’re feeling distracted: Schedule one day a week to routinely “unfollow” at least one person, platform, or service from your list of subscriptions. You could do it every Monday morning as a ritual to remind yourself that your attention is important. I unsubscribed from several writing teachers and made a promise to use the time for actual writing.
4. When you’re feeling disconnected: Challenge yourself to enter one building or room that you’ve been avoiding because you feel reluctant to deal with the people you’ll encounter there. It could be an upscale restaurant, a fitness club, a place you want to apply for a job, a campaign office, or a store, shop, or club where people who you admire spend time. Find such a place once a week and visit it for an hour or just a few minutes. That simple action can break your isolation and facilitate connection with people you’ve been avoiding. I once conducted a social experiment to tell travelers in the Chicago International Airport that they were beautiful.

Use practices like those mentioned above, or make up your own, to break the grip of resistance and avoidance as soon as you’re aware that you’re feeling:

• Stuck
• Overwhelmed
• Distracted
• Disconnected

Once you develop the habit of getting yourself in motion when these feelings are present, you’ll dramatically reduce the amount of time you spend in a holding pattern there.