Resistance is Futile

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Abstract

e.Relative Current Time in terms of a Grief Process:In November of 2019 my close friend answered my call from impasse purgatory. She presented a way to get through grief using a homeopathic formula. Did I want her help getting through the rest of the way? She would give me some time to think about it. In ten seconds, I said: “Yes, I’m in.” A day later I had the homeopathic formula and I began. I immediately felt the formula working on the blockages in my body and somatic memories. (I also saw fragments of grief floating in the auric fields of nearly everyone I encountered in public.)The first miracle was that I had found my mother’s spirit inside me. She had been frightened by my father’s drunken actions and had hidden in my body and remained there since I was four years old. Even when she passed in 2015 most of her spirit remained in my body. I had to drive her out. She didn’t want to leave, tried to get back in several times and was blocked. She remained angry with me for several months. I worked with her through her Higher Self for about a week or so. Now she is a being filled with love and integrity working on healing herself. My friends noticed a change in me immediately — they reported a light emanating from me. I did feel lighter a

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nd happy, freed of a burden.The second miracle was removing fragments of my father’s and sister’s spirit out of my body. This took a longer time to access but was easier because they wanted to leave once they discovered they had been there.During the same time, I changed my diet to a mostly vegan diet. By the spring of 2020 when I put on my shorts and they fell off I realized — duh — I had lost weight. I bought a scale in the summer and discovered I had lost about 70 pounds since I had been last weighted in my doctor’s office in 2018.Releasing somatic grief mostly brings joy. There is some anger too. And yes, there is resistance to experiencing the new waves of triggers, loss, anger and grief. But there it is. I do the best I can. On the other side of I see glimpses of me and all the dissociative parts of me (mapped and explored — integrated and/or living in peace with one another and with me) in the joy of compete alignment with my purpose and my higher self.I’m not fully there yet.I’m getting attached to this new body and this feeling of lightness and I would not want my body to die while extracting the evil in the process. There is purpose to complete while embodied.©2021 F. K. Ontario</article></body>

A Grief Process with My Body

Kristina Tripkovic tinamosquito.com Unsplash

In September 2019 I had given up and was waiting on what do next. I had been surviving inside impasse for at least nine months.

Background:

In 1991 I began having flashbacks of childhood and ritual sexual abuse. For the next ten years I worked in succession with two therapists through the emotional trauma and reached a plateau. There was more to do but I chose not to engaged in the work on a daily basis (as needed only as triggers and memories arose). I was worn out, I needed a life beyond recovery and my therapist of ten years was retiring.

In ’06 after my father passed new material was uncovered. My colleague and close friend revealed to me — and I saw what she saw in part — that my grandfather had put evil inside me from the ritual abuse practices and that I had used extraordinary means to protect this from myself and others. To remove it; it might cost me my life, in other words, kill me.

Relative Current Time in terms of a Grief Process:

In November of 2019 my close friend answered my call from impasse purgatory. She presented a way to get through grief using a homeopathic formula. Did I want her help getting through the rest of the way? She would give me some time to think about it. In ten seconds, I said: “Yes, I’m in.” A day later I had the homeopathic formula and I began. I immediately felt the formula working on the blockages in my body and somatic memories. (I also saw fragments of grief floating in the auric fields of nearly everyone I encountered in public.)

The first miracle was that I had found my mother’s spirit inside me. She had been frightened by my father’s drunken actions and had hidden in my body and remained there since I was four years old. Even when she passed in 2015 most of her spirit remained in my body. I had to drive her out. She didn’t want to leave, tried to get back in several times and was blocked. She remained angry with me for several months. I worked with her through her Higher Self for about a week or so. Now she is a being filled with love and integrity working on healing herself. My friends noticed a change in me immediately — they reported a light emanating from me. I did feel lighter and happy, freed of a burden.

The second miracle was removing fragments of my father’s and sister’s spirit out of my body. This took a longer time to access but was easier because they wanted to leave once they discovered they had been there.

During the same time, I changed my diet to a mostly vegan diet. By the spring of 2020 when I put on my shorts and they fell off I realized — duh — I had lost weight. I bought a scale in the summer and discovered I had lost about 70 pounds since I had been last weighted in my doctor’s office in 2018.

Releasing somatic grief mostly brings joy. There is some anger too. And yes, there is resistance to experiencing the new waves of triggers, loss, anger and grief. But there it is. I do the best I can. On the other side of I see glimpses of me and all the dissociative parts of me (mapped and explored — integrated and/or living in peace with one another and with me) in the joy of compete alignment with my purpose and my higher self.

I’m not fully there yet.

I’m getting attached to this new body and this feeling of lightness and I would not want my body to die while extracting the evil in the process. There is purpose to complete while embodied.