MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS SERIES

Repressed Anger Could be Caused by a Mental Health Condition Such as Depression, Anxiety, or Paranoia

22nd day of May — You could be suffering from repressed anger without realizing it

I didn’t know there was ANGER inside of me. I couldn’t feel or sense it. It must have been there all along disguised as something else, maybe depression or anxiety? I may never be sure where this insidious anger was hiding, but I do know when it first erupted.

I was sitting in my upstairs apartment on the old beat-up couch. My roommate and fiance were there also. It was a hot summer evening and I think my fiance was packing a box or two for me because I was going to be moving into my own place for a while. I planned to be living by myself, without a roommate, until we were married.

My roommate must have been yammering at me because SUDDENLY without warning, like red hot flowing lava, I ERUPTED with anger. I don’t remember what I said, but it wasn’t nice and it wasn’t me, normally.

That was the first time, but certainly not the last.

It was several years later at a despised job with an annoying co-worker. The hot burning lava erupted right there while we were standing at the front desk. As before, I don’t have any idea what I said, just remember the ANGER flowing out of me toward this co-worker, bitter words, loud words.

I should have been fired on the spot.

I ended up working at that job for a decade and looking back at my behavior, I’m surprised that they kept me that long. I really didn’t like that job nor the people that I worked with, but it wasn’t them, it was me. I didn’t recognize the symptoms, I just knew the feeling of sudden, intense, unexpected ANGER.

I had a repressed anger problem.

FIVE SYMPTOMS OF REPRESSED ANGER from Psychology Today

😟 Depression — a persistent feeling of sadness 😞 Subjugation — to treat yourself as being less important than others 🥺 Paranoia — an irrational fear that the world is hostile and people can’t be trusted 😎 Self-Righteousness — perfectionistic criticism regarding unrealistic standards set for yourself and others 😠 Passive-Aggressiveness — silent purposeful procrastination, forgetfulness, neglect, or performance

Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. These were all me in some way or other throughout my life. The repressed anger might’ve been building inside for many years without me knowing that it was there. Just like a volcano waiting to erupt.

This same article from Psychology Today has an extensive list of the RESULTS or IMPACT of repressed anger. I’ve experienced many of these in my lifetime. The volcano was always affecting me, I just didn't know it until it actually erupted — twice.

THE VOLATILE IMPACT OF REPRESSED ANGER

PHYSICAL IMPACT ✅ digestive issues ✅ Inability to relax or have pleasure in life headaches chronic cough Urges to hurt oneself

EMOTIONAL IMPACT ✅ Emotional numbness ✅ Lethargy ✅ Depression or dysthymia ✅ Lingering sadness without clear reasons

MENTAL IMPACT ✅ Lack of motivation ✅ Having a harsh inner critic ✅ Paranoia and intense anxiety chronic procrastination

SOCIAL IMPACT ✅ Lack of satisfaction in relationships and friendships ✅ The inability to stand up for oneself, and thus let others take advantage of them ✅ Having unreasonably high and unrelenting standards ✅ Confused sense of self and identity confusion ✅ Being abused or used by others due to the inability to assert boundaries ✅ Co-dependency ✅ The tendency to judge others ✅ Alienation and social isolation ✅ Sudden outbursts that surprise others Broken relationships, affairs, and divorce Self-sabotaging behaviors

Each one with a checkmark is something that I’ve experienced in my lifetime. The impact of repressed anger is far-reaching and sinister. I sincerely hope that you don’t or haven’t experienced any of these impacts in your life. Repressed anger can be disruptive and alarming when it decides to erupt and spew out hot lava.

Thanks for reading today’s Mental Health Awareness article. Stay tuned for another one tomorrow. In the meantime, happy reading, and writing, and please strive to be all-around healthy!

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