REMOVE the Stigma That Comes With the “DAD” Title
Being a father is the most amazing thing that could ever happen to a man. Having that little baby in your arms for the first time, usually small enough to fit in a grown man’s palm. Having that instant feeling of protection and overwhelming love over the little boy or girl. This is exactly what it felt like for me, of course admittedly, I felt that way as soon as I was told I was going to be a DADDY 9 months earlier. Being a father comes with a set of expectations and its own stigma related to that title. What is that exactly and how do we, as DADS, remove that stigma and become much more than we ever thought we could be?
As we look to our fathers and grandfathers, what do we see? As for me, I seen the definition of being “A Man.” My father goes hunting, pretty tight knit about his feelings and expressing them, “toughen up” was his slogan, etc. There’s is nothing wrong with this, but for you that are reading this, we want to be much more than what the definition of being “A Man” entails. Society has shown that the role of the men in a household is to be the provider, do the outside work, and be the disciplinarians of the children. Again, there’s nothing wrong with these roles. We are going to try to become more, as I’ve stated above.
What Is More?
To overcome what we have been raised as and what society has planned for us, we have to know what a typical mother’s stigma is and then we can try to blur these lines a bit. A mother is seen as a nurturer, care giver, teaching values and emotions, does the inside work, homework, etc. So MORE is just blurring the lines between what the children expect from the father and mother; creating a parent that provides in both areas.
My little girl is three years old now, turning four this month. I have been very aware of the stigma that comes along with being the father. I wanted to show her that I can be more than the average dad. How did I do this? I still was a provider, still disciplined, still do the outside work, and still try to teach her how to be tough enough to continue something she is scared of or got hurt from. What did I do different? I didn’t care where we were or whom was watching and I act silly whenever to make her laugh, I let her know that emotions is something everyone feels and it is just fine to express them properly, I nurture, she witnesses me and even help me do the inside cleaning and cooking, I teach her simple and complex things, we do crafts as well as play outdoors, I suck it up and play princesses and Barbie’s with her because I know that’s what she enjoys doing, I learned every Disney song and sing them with her because she really gets into it and it excites her when I do it with her.
Why am I telling you about my experiences and what I have done to remove that stigma? It is to let you know that it is okay to be a “MAN” and still paint your daughter’s nails or teach your son how to cook. It will NOT expose you as a weak person or make you girly. In fact, what this does is let everyone know that you are MAN enough to be what your child needs instead of caring what other people MAY think. I am willing to bet that the “other people” will actually think more highly of you instead of the latter. Again, it is perfectly fine to be a man and still take on some of the roles that the mother does as well. The most that can happen is your child will get double the experiences and double the care. This is something that I think we all can live with 🙂