Summary

The author reflects on the life and memory of their beloved grandmother, who passed away two years ago, and how they commemorate her on the anniversary of her death.

Abstract

The article is a personal tribute to the author's grandmother, who passed away two years prior. The author recalls fond memories of their grandmother, including a trip to New York and her dedication to grammar. The grandmother, a nurse and avid reader, was known for her thoughtful birthday cards and active lifestyle, which included weekly beach walks with friends. The isolation during the Covid pandemic affected her health, leading to her passing at the age of 94. The author cherishes the handmade stockings their grandmother crafted and remembers her dislike for long goodbyes and phone conversations. To honor her memory, the family chose to celebrate her life rather than mourn at a traditional funeral, laying her to rest beside the author's grandfather.

Opinions

The author cherishes the memories of their grandmother and the impact she had on their life.
The grandmother's insistence on proper grammar is seen as an act of love and teaching.
The author regrets not visiting their grandmother enough during the Covid pandemic.
The author prefers personal interactions over phone conversations, a trait they believe they share with their grandmother.
The author values the celebration of life over traditional funerals, finding it a more fitting way to honor their grandmother's memory.

Remembering Your Loved One on the Anniversary of Their Passing

It’s been two years since I lost my sweet grandma

My sweet grandma on her birthday in 2016 — Photo Credit: Author

A death anniversary is a weird day full of different emotions. It does feel odd to celebrate so I am taking time today to reflect upon someone that I loved very much.

I adored hanging out with my grandma when I was a little girl. My dad’s mother was the only grandma I knew as a young child because my mom’s mother passed away before I was born.

When I was 5 years old, I flew with my grandma to her home state of New York to visit family. It was fall in upstate New York and I can still vividly remember the street full of leaves. The house with a porch that we went to visit was full of small-town charm.

Thinking back, she must have wanted to show off her first granddaughter to all of her family and old friends back home.

Our memories are strange and the bits from this trip are packed away in a drawer in my brain but they are always the same when I pull them out. Almost 40 years later, I can picture it all.

I took several leaves with me from New York and packed them tightly in a book for several years although the memories from the trip will always be packed away tightly in my drawer.

My grandma was a nurse and an avid reader, and if I had to guess she probably did some writing in her spare time, although I never asked.

It bothered me so much as a child that she was the grammar police, but now I see it as her way of teaching me. She constantly corrected me out of love.

My best friend at the time, Megan, was always the topic of my conversations. I always started my sentence with, “Me and Megan…”

My grandma would quickly chime in, “Megan and I…”

Sigh, “Megan and I”, I would correct myself and roll my eyes.

At the time, I just wanted her to let me talk and not correct me. Damned if she did though. She was adamant about me getting it right.

She never forgot a date or anyone’s birthday. Everyone in the family received a handwritten card on every birthday and holiday. She even sent cards on St. Patrick’s Day. She enjoyed writing in cards and was a lover of words.

When my daughters were born, they became receivers of the cards, too. She never forgot anyone. Her mind was intact until the day she passed away.

My brother and I with our grandma — Photo Credit: Author

Today, it has been two years since she left us. She was healthy and active up until Covid graced the world with its presence. She turned 94 in the midst of the March madness of Covid and her activities ceased, just like the rest of us.

Although, at this age, she looked forward to her weekly walks with her walking group. They met at the beach to walk and have breakfast after. It was definitely the highlight of her week.

Redondo Beach, CA: My grandma’s favorite place to walk — Photo Credit: Author

She really enjoyed this outing and also getting her hair done, which she could no longer do. And, she lived alone so Covid got really lonely and I feel bad for not visiting her enough.

As the isolation extended, her health began to deteriorate. Her mind remained sharp but she wasn’t regularly moving her body as she used to, it was only a matter of time before she began to fall.

It was tough to see her in the weeks preceding her death. My loving and sweet grandma was not really there anymore. I could tell she was ready to go.

Although we are never ready to let them go, death is inevitable.

She took her last breath on December 19, 2020. I will always miss her on this day but remember all of the good times that we had together.

Looking at my mantle every Christmas will be symbolic of her life and death because she handcrafted all of our stockings.

Our handmade stockings from grandma — Photo Credit: Author

She was the most thoughtful person I’ve ever known and I believe that I am like her in many ways.

She didn’t like to say goodbye. I also think she wasn’t much of a phone person, like me. I’m not a huge fan of talking on the phone because of the weird lulls and it’s hard to gauge the social cues.

I’d much rather talk to someone in person. I believe that is how she was, too. When I would talk to her on the phone, she could tell when the conversation was about to end and would just hang up.

You were often left saying, “Grandma??” My parents would say the same thing and we would laugh about it.

“Oh, I guess she just hung up again!” I am sure we will laugh about that for many years to come.

Letting her go at Grandpa’s Hill — Photo Credit: Author

We also aren’t fans of funerals but would rather have a celebration of life. And, that is what we did for my sweet Grandma. For her birthday in March of 2021, we headed to where my Grandpa’s ashes were sprinkled when I was a baby. He passed away before I could collect any memories of him.

We laid her to rest right there on what we call “Grandpa’s Hill”, where we can still see remnants of my grandpa 42 years later. Pretty amazing, if you ask me.

Grandma, I didn’t say goodbye when we left you that day on Grandpa’s Hill, but instead, I vowed to always remember the sweet kisses that you laid on my cheeks when we departed.

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Thanks for reading!

Much love, Michele