Remembering My Senior Cat Spot

How can such a small creature have such a big impact?

On Friday, February 4, 2022, at 6:30 pm, my cat Spot died.

I was getting ready for a trip we were going on the next day when I heard a cat commotion in the other room. I figured the kitty brothers were playing. Then I heard a most mournful disturbing series of distressed meows. I jumped up to check on Spot, thinking maybe something had fallen on him and he was injured.

It was worse than that.

I found him on the floor lying flat on his side, legs straight out. He was not moving except for his distressed vocalizations. A few seconds after I found him, he stopped making sounds and completely stopped moving.

I was freaking out. All I could think was: Oh no, is he dead, is he dead?

I never had a cat drop dead on me before. My previous cats were either put to sleep at the veterinarian when they got old and sick, or they went missing. I didn’t know what to do and was on the verge of losing it, so I ran to my husband for help.

“Something happened to Spot. He might be dead, I’m not sure,” I said.

My husband dashed over to Spot and asked me what happened. Trying to explain incoherently, I started falling apart. He helped me back to my senses.

“I think he’s dead. We can’t leave the body here,” he said.

A vision flashed in my head of Spot paralyzed but alive. We can’t assume he’s dead, I thought. What if he’s still alive and just can’t move?

We put poor Spot in a laundry basket and drove to the emergency vet. They checked him and confirmed he was dead. We visited with him one last time to say goodbye, and then made arrangements for his cremation.

The next day, we went on our trip, still in shock at Spot’s sudden and unexpected passing. We comforted ourselves with the thoughts that we were still home when he passed away and he wasn’t alone when he died.

I hope he knew someone was there with him and for him during his last moments.

On Monday, October 12, 2020, we adopted a 12-year-old cat named Spot.

When we bring home a new cat, we have the vet check them out within a few days. Spot had problems with his teeth and ears. The vet worked on his teeth and we put drops in his ears, which helped. We could tell he was feeling better by the way he acted.

When you adopt a cat, you don’t know what its personality will be like. He turned out to be the sweetest cat and loved to snuggle at night. He was enthusiastically vocal about food. He played tag with his brother Sunny. He put up with his sister Bobbie who often harassed him. Occasionally he chased her around the house when he had enough of her meanness.

At his annual physical, the vet noted a problem with Spot’s liver numbers in his bloodwork. Spot also lost weight — about an ounce, which was unusual, since my cats normally gained weight.

The vet performed an ultrasound of Spot’s liver and saw that part of the liver didn’t look right. They aspirated a sample and sent it off for analysis, but it came back inconclusive. At that point, the only way to find the problem was for Spot to undergo surgery for a liver biopsy.

We decided not to put him through that and are so glad we didn’t. We never found out exactly what was wrong, but I’m glad we didn’t make him miserable during what turned out to be the last few weeks of his life.

Instead, he got the royal treatment! Since he was losing weight, I became a food pusher to help him eat more. He ate at least 4 times a day: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime snack! I offered him various wet cat foods, tons of treats, and even baby food to coax him into eating something.

On the last day of his life, he had a grand day. The weather was unusually nice so he got to spend most of the day out on the catio, his favorite place. He ate well at dinner. He played with his brother Sunny and even chased his mean sister Bobbie all over the house.

I don’t think I could have asked for a better last day for him.

On Saturday, February 4, 2023, the first anniversary of Spot’s passing, I reflected on the impact Spot’s life and death had on me. I looked at his pictures, cried, smiled, and laughed.

I thought about all my cats who are now gone. They all put their pawprints on my heart and left a hole in my soul. Most of them lived for around 18 years, so we thought we’d have several more years with Spot.

But he lived only another 1 year 3 months 23 days after we adopted him.

His passing was unexpected and sudden. We were in shock for months, especially since we lost our previous senior cat Mr. Winks only a few months before we adopted Spot.

But how much time you spend with someone is not a measure of how much they affect you. Rather, it’s the quality and intensity of your time together and the moments you share that determines their impact.

Though his time with us was brief, Spot quickly bonded with us and became an interactive part of the family. It’s astonishing how such a small creature can have such a big impact on your life. He left his pawprints on my heart and a Spot-shaped hole in my soul.

I hope he had a good life with us, brief as it was. We did what we could to help him with his health problems, and make him feel at home, welcome, and loved.

Spot, you touched my heart. I love you and miss you. Thank you for sharing the last year of your life with us.

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