Relief

It is more important than love

Many years ago, a wonderful woman sat down with me on a park bench in Decatur, Georgia. She did for me something I can do for others, but never for myself. Like me, she could feel the signature of a person’s energy, how much it is, what kind of energy, and how it is being directed. This gift is called empathic psychometry. I can read the essence of a person, but no secrets. I can only reveal the person’s energy strengths or weaknesses. How? The essence is expressed almost like a texture of feeling. That is as close as I can describe what I feel. That certain texture has sometimes taken years to figure out. For example, it took decades to realize that comfortable energy isn’t always good. It means a person is happy with who they are. I have felt this kind of energy in people who have done bad things. Not just balanced folk.

I had been able to sense these qualities for much of my life. But not ever for myself. In a conversation during a walk, my friend revealed what she could do. I jumped at the chance of a reading. People were always telling me I was too much. Those exact words. Even when I was quiet and still. Why? I longed to know.

All my friend had to do, was take my hand. Touch me. And consider what she felt. It didn’t take her long. She told me I had far more energy than anyone she had ever sensed. I forget the exact words she used in the next few minutes, but it could summed up in one word: Whole. And that I didn’t know what to do with the wholeness.

She was right. I am too much even for myself, and have had to work hard since then to tune down the energy flow.

I’ve experienced a lot of energies over time. Carried too many from others. That’s the downside of psychometric empathy. We all have three kinds of energy: positive, negative, and neutral. The neutral is always our core energy. Our balance. But both the positive and the negative energy are used to make our bodies and lives move. Affect the world around us. And, I am serious, in our own atomically small ways, I believe all life forms make the universe spin. I feel we might provide some of the waves of energy that keep the universal engines moving. Action is needed to do that. We make our own actions.

The energy needs to be constantly tugged at, and balanced. All the time. This is the vibration that powers a kind of music that fuels the universe. This is the power source. The whole of which we will never be able to understand.

In a dream long ago, I was told “We are the experiences that God lives by.” Another better known expression? “We are the stuff that dreams are made on.” When we hold up the idea that we are in any way the center of the universe, and it serves us, we reverse the meaning of those sentences. We also get off balance. We don’t focus on what we are supposed to do. We are only the center of our local place in the universe. And that’s all right. As long as we realize that we need to stay in the prime point of that center. As Buddhist thought reminds us, walk in the middle path.

In this recent decade I had many bad dreams. Unrelenting bad dreams. I understood why. The world has been going through massive psychological warfare. Extremes against extremes. The behaviors that psychiatrists dull with drugs because they can’t see the source of the symptoms. And never will be able to. We are doing our best to add to the dullness. Avoid the overload. This problem is a simple one to state, if you boil things down to the basic physics. The actions of positive, negative, and neutral energies must be used in a balanced way. If this does not happen, chaos will. Chaos is the universal method of revealing deep imbalance.

We can choose better ways of giving energies something to do. No excuses, because there are so many methods to choose that do not cause destruction or harm. Creative ways. One does not have to have any huge talent to create something with negative energy. Just the will to think, to do, and relax on the middle path.

My life is headed in a positive direction during a time when the minds of people around me are unstable. The negative energy, shared with me, doesn’t know what to do with itself. Not for the others. Not for me. So I am dealing with clinical depression. I’m not just carrying my upsets, but theirs. Working hard to build a more positive life weakens my ability to balance reality. I believe something has to give so I am forced to rest in the center. Depression is an uncomfortable form of rest.

Too often we choose awful ways to use the negative energy. And don’t realize we do the same with our positive energy. We create atrophy by thinking we’re doing okay. Atrophy may seem like balancing in the center. What we’re doing is hiding out in the eye of a too dark, or too light, hurricane.

We can choose to put all energies into a creative use that works for our individual lives. Balance things. Creating is nothing more than making choices to find what we should use or do in our own ways. To find those ways, we have to feel how much distress or relief it gives us to do certain things. And to focus on what brings relief. For ourselves, and others. Real relief. Not the Band-aid kind.

Relief is more important to a living being than love. It is. Think about it. Joy comes with love, but so does anxiety. Relief is relief. Just what is needed. Simple.

I’m figuring out my own relief. I have some new ideas of where to use the darkness, not just the light. If you’re looking for your own, I wish you success. It feels so good when it comes. I am looking forward to that sense of being where I want to be. I hope it tones my energy down to relieve everyone around me, and make the universe hum a terrific tune.