Relax: It’s Just A Bad Thought

Learn the 3 principles that help you move on from negative thoughts.

Ignorance is blissful for a reason. When you’re not aware of the talk in your mind then you don’t give those pesky thoughts a second glance.

You don’t know what you don’t know.

This includes the power that your thoughts can have over you. Even though you’re blissfully unaware of them.

This is how it rolls

Well, at least this is how it happened to me.

I’ve drifted in and out of mindful awareness and spiritual devotion for the most part of half a century. Everything is cracking along beautifully. Then, somehow I always manage to derail in the process.

But this time it’s different. I have made a commitment to discover who I really am, and toss off the rest (as best I can). Now I’m sharing this with you as it might help you too.

My goals are set. I’m climbing that ladder towards reaching that elusive ‘fullest potential’.

Then out of nowhere a bad thought drops in to my awareness.

Where did it even come from? How did it get there? Darn it. I’ve done so much work on myself, I can’t believe this is happening.

Take a deep breath. Everything is ok.

You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re not failing. You’re not a loser. Far from it — you are actually becoming aware. How beautiful is that!

The thing is, you can’t stop bad thoughts from popping in. In fact, you can’t stop any thoughts from popping in. It’s what you do next that matters.

Where do negative thoughts come from?

They can arrive into your mind from anywhere.

Something triggers a memory, you relive a past experience, you find yourself stuck on the rumination treadmill, or you feel a moment of fear or anxiety.

Having these thoughts now and then is of no major concern.

But when they occur on a regular basis it can impact your self-esteem, sense of joy, and ability to feel confident. The thing is, your mind makes these thoughts one hundred times bigger than they really are.

This in turn, causes you to lose perspective and create feelings of overwhelm. It’s not your fault though. It’s the way your mind has been conditioned to react.

Some of these thoughts are fleeting, like clouds drifting past. These types of thoughts have little impact on us.

Others are in for the long haul and it takes a dedicated contingency plan to move them along. These types of negative thoughts are often referred to as Automatic Negative Thoughts:

· Automatic Negative Thoughts arise in response to triggers, and, you guessed it, they happen automatically. They make you feel as though you’ve lost control and flood you with all kinds of negative feelings, from anxiety, to grief, from guilt, to worthlessness.

Excessive negative thinking can affect relationships, lead to depression or self-harm, and increase psychosomatic disorders. Your thoughts have the potential to be the cause of most of your suffering.

“Negative thoughts are cognitions about the self, others, or the world in general that are characterized by negative perceptions, expectations, and attributions and are associated with unpleasant emotions and adverse behavioral, physiological, and health outcomes” ~ Louise C Hawkley

Let’s have a look at managing negative thoughts

3 Principles to manage negative thoughts:

1. Learn how to develop mindful awareness. It can help to sit in stillness and tune into your thoughts. Pay attention to all the thoughts that come and go without judging yourself or the thoughts. You are simply observing the thoughts passing by. Mindfulness meditation, with a focus on your breath, can help you move from awareness to detachment of these thoughts

2. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Accept your thoughts as part of the human experience. Accepting them does not mean you endorse them

3. Question and challenge your thoughts. Do you have any actual evidence to support their validity? Often times negative thoughts are not truth. Instead, they are a distorted view or memory. Show the thoughts who’s in charge by reframing the thought, or replacing it with a positive option. Flip that thought on its head.

By changing the thought, you take away its power.

Think of your thoughts as nothing more than flashes across your mind. You choose to focus on them or not. You choose to change them, or let them go completely.

Yes, this takes work, time and effort. You may engage the support of a trusted friend, coach or therapist to help you. You are worth it.

When I find myself with bad thoughts running rampant, I have learnt to still myself by focusing on my breath. Then I look at the thought and ask myself “is it true?” Most often it’s not true, so I work at releasing it altogether. This took daily practice, but after several months it worked.

If the answer to my question is “yes, it is true”, then I find a way to reframe the thought and flip it into something positive.

It’s not an easy process.

However, if you do want to delve into self-discovery and experience deep growth, then you may need to do the work and shift the negative thoughts. Never blame yourself for your thoughts and seek help if you need to.

Remember, at the end of the day they’re only thoughts, and 99.9% of the time they’re not even true.

You are not your thoughts.

You are a beautiful being.

Silva x

P.S. My biggest takeaway in this process is to find stillness, breathe, and remind myself that my thoughts are not who I am. Don’t let them have power over you.

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Disclaimer: All content is the writer’s thoughts and opinions, published for your learning and enjoyment. The writer takes no responsibility for any outcomes or experiences you may undergo due to reading the material.