Self-Love
Relationship between Me and Myself
Did I love myself already?
I think everyone we knew in life ever talks about us behind at least once. Whether they are our parents, siblings, big family, and friends. It can be good things about us or the opposite.
Actually, it doesn’t matter to me but I think the issue is once someone talks about you behind in their version of judgment as if they are the most perfect human in the world, especially if what I do doesn’t abuse them at all.
I understand if someone talking behind me when there is my attitude that hurts them unintentionally. But if what is discussed is my life choices which are more private in nature, I don’t feel they have the right to judge me as right or wrong.
But that’s not the point. The mark is I just realized how deep my relationship with other people does not guarantee that they really accept us completely. There will be moments wherein their eyes are so annoying and lousy. There are times when they are really angry because of our behavior. Even for people who say they love us more than themselves.
Later I realized that kind of bullshit. In fact, everyone basically loves themselves more. But that’s not wrong because that’s how it should be. Because when we already obtain enough love, we can share that love with others more sincerely, not because we are dependent on each other.
Many pieces of training are present to build good relationships with other people, whether in peers, family, or business colleagues. Because they said networking is one of the most valuable assets. But there is still very little training in building a good relationship with ourselves.
Even if there is, it is still carried out in certain sessions, such as counseling or issues related to mental health. Indeed, networking outside of ourselves is temporary no matter how close and deep the chemistry is.
Because someone that always beside you for the rest of your life is definitely you. You’re the one and only.
Can you imagine being in a relationship with someone you didn’t love for the rest of your life? How would that relationship feel? How would that relationship affect your thoughts, behavior, and day-to-day life?
So, I think building a healthy relationship with yourself is a basic necessity we should have without waiting for a mental health issue. That’s the first commitment we should take before we decide to have any commitment with others.
However, strong chemistry needs effort and many actions not formed by themselves. I think some points below will help you to strengthen your relationship with yourself:
1. Self-love language
I take a love language quiz and the top result was an act of service. Yes, that’s my love language for others.
I don’t know if there’s been any research on this, but I just realize our love language for others is probably different from love language for myself personally.
I just think the act of service doesn’t work as the way for me to love myself. Because when I want to chill I want something that relaxes me even though I actually do a lot of service for myself too. But I do it more because I have to because it’s my responsibility or it’s as simple as having to save the budget.
So I think self-love language it’s probably different from our general love language to others. and once I thought the way I loved myself was leaning towards giving myself gifts.
Whether it’s goods or something that makes it easier for me even though I spend more. My second self-love language is quality time wherein general love language quality time is at the bottom.
I really need to spend time alone when I need to recharge and I love to spend many hours just dating myself. we should learn our partner’s love language, we shouldn’t forget to learn self-love language on my own.
However, you should try each five your language and determine which one is your favorite.
2. Hold my own map
People will tell you to get married, have kids then have a secure job for life. As if our lives are just templates that already have a patent flow and we are just robots that have been set to walk on the rails.
If you don’t do it, you will be considered damaged and abnormal or worse case you will be considered to be “repaired”. They make those boring templates to determine whether you succeed or fail.
In fact, you are the exclusive one. The only one in this world and nobody is like you. You have your own map to guide your journey. So, please stop to look at other people’s maps because you will get lost.
Even when you look at other people’s maps that have the same destination because you already have your own path to get there which is perfectly designed just for you. Hold on tight to your map, and enjoy your journey.
Don’t be in a hurry to get there because you might miss the beautiful scenery that lies along your way. This is your life, your own journey, and everything yours.
3. Find out myself every time
Many things you should learn about yourself, so don’t waste your time impressing people. I ever write about self-discovery journey that you check below :
But there are still many aspects that you need to understand so you can love yourself the right way. Some question below probably helps you to understand yourself:
What activities make you physically tired?
What activities make you recharge?
What kind of people make you fulfill?
What kind of person gives you negative feelings?
Are there foods that make you uncomfortable?
Which weather do you prefer? this can be a consideration for you choosing a location to be settled.
What’s draining your energy?
What is your comfort food?
What is your dream lifestyle?
I suggest you ask yourself as much as you can through your journey. Because not even everyone knows how to love himself properly. Because you are too precious to be loved in the wrong way.
Hug yourself tight whether you’re happy or down. because you are your best friend for yourself. because there will be times when you have to let go one by one of the things you love. Whether it’s someone you really care about, your dream, or something else that you really love. It’s okay as long as you’re still holding yourself.