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Reindeer Droppings Make Wonderful Chocolate Chip Cookies

It’s a good job there is plenty of lush moss for the reindeer to eat — which fuels a good supply of poop

Dear Daniel

It was so nice to get your letter. I have saved it in a secret drawer where I keep my favourite treat, shortbread. I have to hide the pack, so Santa doesn't steal them. He eats anything and everything, including reindeer poo.

The other day my favourite Reindeer — Donner, named after the kebab of course — needed his antlers polished. While the elves and I were tending to the task, Santa was at the rear collecting darling Donner’s droppings, to use in his own special chocolate chip cookie recipe.

It's a good job there is plenty of lush moss for the reindeer to eat — keeping the ol’ git with a bountiful supply of the poop.

Naturally we don't celebrate Christmas but have our yearly vacation in Vegas every spring. Santa loves to play the casino tables while I check out the shows. Thank goodness we dropped off all our kids at the local children's home many years ago, or we wouldn't be able to afford his gambling habit. Although we are still in close contact with them as they send a Christmas begging letter each year even though they are now adults. Some people simply have no pride.

Thank you so much dear Daniel for the offer to stay in your room. However, I don't feel it would be appropriate, although I am not a lecherous paedo. And for the record nor is my husband even if he does invite pretty teenage girls to sit on his lap and snuggle into his fat belly every winter.

Anyhow, it's been nice chatting.

Remember if you see a shooting star it isn't an angel falling from heaven, some people believe anything you tell them.

Must go and make Mr Claus’ dinner now. I hope I have answered all your numerous nosy questions as listed in the letter below…

Until next year, make sure you are a good boy for your mom — and not only during the holidays. Remember, Santa is always watching you — so stop picking your nose at church on Sunday and wiping it under the pew.

Mrs Claus

Deluded Custodian Challenge

THE CREATIVITY DOCTOR penned the touching letter in the link above— from Daniel to Mrs Claus — for the December Deluded Custodian Challenge, hosted by Ann James. The competition had lots of lovely letters, but TCD topped the bill and won. Congratulations.

If you would like to get involved with this fun writing challenge, then pop over and read this article. I believe there is a nice monetary prize for the January task winner, as well as a promotional Teaser from me.

Check out all other DC teasers by me here…

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Teaser Tales Guidelines

Reindeer
Deluded Custodians
Teaser
Flash Fiction
Humour
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