Reigniting a Lost Love Affair. Is there a Future for Us?

We haven’t always seen eye to eye, but I’m giving it another go

I’s No, I’m not talking about my marriage.

That’s done and dead. I’m talking about a food relationship with porridge. Who knew those little oats could cause so much pain and soul searching.

Ok, maybe that is a little bit of an exaggeration.

You see, I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), which means there are several foods I cannot eat. There are several other foods that, while I can eat them, I need to be careful and limit my intake.

Most of these are obvious, processed foods, sugar, and high-fat food.

Some of the foods on my watch and remove list are not so obvious. Cucumber (and all its relatives) and bananas are prime examples, although I used to manage cooked bananas: oranges and orange juice others. I have to be careful with most fruit juices, which is very annoying.

Dairy is my biggest nemesis, and I have written about our ongoing issues before.

So, what about oats?

We’ll get to them in a minute. Firstly let’s talk about IBS

The Mayo Clinic describes IBS as

“a common disorder that affects the large intestine. Signs and symptoms include cramping, abdominal pain, bloating, gas, and diarrhoea or constipation, or both. IBS is a chronic condition that you’ll need to manage long term.”

It continues,

“ Only a small number of people with IBS have severe signs and symptoms. Some people can control their symptoms by managing diet, lifestyle and stress. More severe symptoms can be treated with medication and counselling.”

There is no singular cause of IBS, and it is more prevalent in women. Symptoms are triggered by just about anything, including stress, anxiety, food, alcohol, changes in the weather, gut microbes, and hormonal changes.

I’ve had some level of IBS since I was a teen. My issues with dairy are getting progressively worse as I get older.

Pregnancy was the only time I’ve had complete relief from all IBS symptoms and triggers. For those few short months after my morning sickness settled, I could enjoy hot chocolate with cream with no repercussions.

Dealing with IBS

Enlightened doctors that recognise IBS as more than a mild inconvenience are in short supply. If you happen to find one, they’ll advise you to record your symptoms and keep a food diary and possibly even a journal or a mood diary.

The idea is to help you find and remove, where possible, your triggers and take steps to deal with any life issues or stresses that are exacerbating the condition.

Sounds easy on paper.

However, one of the many issues is that the triggers do not remain constant. Apart from the ones I’ve listed above, I’ve had periods where I’ve had to avoid coffee (especially instant), most fruit, bacon, and oats.

While I love coffee and still miss bacon (vegan bacon is not the same), I have a very different relationship with oats, especially porridge.

Revisiting childhood food fears

It stems from childhood and the evil that was Ready Brek back in the 80s and early 90s. For anyone not familiar with this evil, it was marketed as ‘Central Heating for Kids’. In theory, it was quick, simple porridge for kids.

In reality, it was more finely milled giving it the consistency of sawdust mixed with hot milk or water that never entirely dissolved and always left you feeling like you were chewing floorboards.

I hated it.

I still feel the horrible consistency in my mouth as I write about it. Needless to say, it put me off anything that closely resembled it, including porridge.

While I tried it a few times, I couldn’t get past the association with Ready Brek, so it was consigned to the ‘never again’ pile.

That was until the IBS took hold.

Every doctor, nutritionist, and healthy eating book I read suggested porridge as the as an alternative to sugar-ladened and wheat-based processed cerea l.

My early experiments were not exactly a resounding success. I exploded more than one bowl in the microwave, burned at least one saucepan, and always ended up with lumpy, inedible gloop. If I did manage to stomach any of it, it sat like a brick and caused a host of unpleasant complications.

Not quite ready to give up, I turned to single-serving packets that you made in the microwave, using the empty packet to measure the milk or water. I made less mess, and most of them tasted lovely and were utterly edible.

At least for a short time.

The problem with the packet mixes was they were processed, less than other things but still with stuff added that after a short time, my stomach decided it didn’t like.

Stomach cramps, bloating, and swinging between diarrhea and constipation put an end to that experiment.

I gave away the remaining packets and eradicated the idea of eating porridge ever again.

What Changed?

Life.

Primarily me trying to find ways of dealing with my middle-age spread. I sit at a desk most of the day and can’t do the same levels of exercise, even walking, I once enjoyed.

An inflating waistline and a shrinking budget encouraged me to look for cheap, filling alternatives to toast in the morning.

I had a sneaking suspicion that the answer would lay in Scottish rolled oats once more.

I risked it.

Day one was a success. I microwaved the right amount of oats and milk alternative for three minutes, remembering to stir regularly. Result: It didn’t explode all over the microwave.

Day two, I tried to multitask as I often did and spent most of the morning scrubbing crispy globs of burn oats and soya milk from every corner of the microwave.

Day three, I gave up and had toast.

I also contemplated what had gone wrong. The answer wasn’t so much the porridge. It was me.

I spend my entire life rushing from one thing to the next and always putting what I need on the back burner, including preparing food.

It was one of the main reasons I relied so heavily on the microwave.

I decided I would try again the next day, but I would take a different approach. I went back to using the pan on the stove and focused solely on doing one thing — making my porridge.

The results

Well, you saw the picture at the head of the article.

I now experiment with different fruits to keep breakfast exciting and occasionally have a day off porridge to stay ahead of my body complaining.

Putting more thought into my breakfast has had a knock-on effect on how I see my food in general. I pay a lot more attention when cooking for myself. Rather than rush to throw something together each night, I put time aside each week to batch cook healthy dinners that I can freeze and reheat.

That way, I can focus on my daughter’s food issues without overlooking my needs.

At least I have one love affair in my life that is working, even if it is with my breakfast.

Cathylouise is a juggler extraordinaire who amazingly manages to balance parenthood, health challenges, work and home responsibilities with a healthy side of poetry and knitting. When she’s not hiding in her home office, she is home educating her teenage daughter and supporting Character Creation Roleplaying. Follow her aerial acrobatics on Twitter and Facebook.