Trauma — Healing — Medium Day
Reflections & Takeaways — Writing About Trauma Without Re-Traumatising Yourself
Medium Day Conference Key Notes & Thoughts
I watched the replay of “How to Write About Your Trauma Without Re-Traumatizing Yourself,” with Bryony Hutt, in the Sessions section.
It was SO insightful.
Because I write about trauma too, and sometimes I just want to spread the healing, other times I want to call things out but it puts me back in a negative state of mind.
Bryony had some advice on how to manage that. Here are the key notes:
1) Pace yourself.
Write when you feel like writing, no pressure, no targets. Don’t go too fast and burn yourself out. Emotional overwhelm is normal.
2) Decompress.
Walking, or smaller, easier ways to shake off some emotions. Putting on a song, for example, dance, moving your body. (I say playing music, too.) Chi Gong, yoga, etc.
3) Be prepared for the nay-sayers. And negative comments from people who might not respond sensitively.
Writing about things that are healed or worked through, not things that are still too raw, to ensure you are in a strong place to share this vulnerability. Have that back-up — friends, groups, people close to you you can turn to when things go awry.
4) Reframe negative comments.
They can hit hard, so take a step back and think about what it means to get that comment. It’s reaching people who need to hear it even if they aren’t ready to listen yet.
5) Celebrate the positive comments.
The people who appreciate what you share help outweigh the negative ones, so it can reach who it needs to reach, even if it’s just one person.
Such amazing advice.
Regarding responding to negative comments…
Byrony reminds us that, “No response is an option. Most people who are supportive will see that comment for what it is.”
You can clarify, or you might have another reason to respond. Make more points, perhaps a good opportunity to continue a conversation. It is up to you.
Another part I loved about the conference were other Medium members coming on-screen to ask questions and express their thoughts or share their stories and insight.
I particularly liked what Annelise Lords said about letting go and not letting it get stuck and knowing when to forgive.
Someone asked about using names and Bryony expressed using invented names when exposing the truth about what happened to us.
What I personally do is use initials or nick names, because I don’t want to face any defamation lawsuits. Even if what I share is true, well, the law can sadly protect abusers too. My goal is to spread awareness, knowledge and healing when it comes to sharing about what I lived. It’s the best I can do.
The advice given in that conference is invaluable to me. Boundaries is something I still struggle with at times. Respecting ourselves after our abusers taught us not to is an uphill battle, but I share my key notes from this talk here as a reminder to myself as well to follow Bryony’s advice.
The best part of this advice is that I realise I AM NOT ALONE! Not alone to feel overwhelmed at times by sharing about trauma, not alone to have boundary issues, not alone to want to share without feeling bad, not alone to have lived trauma. I think that’s what warmed my heart most about this talk.
I am not alone. You are not alone. And together, we can find self-empowerment, reclaim our voices, and achieve emotional freedom.
You can catch the Replay as I did here.
As I have tagged Bryony Hutt and Annelise Lords, I will share a story from each of them that I feel will help anyone who is on a healing journey.
In this story, Bryony shares some sayings people say to offer support that can come off the wrong way, and reflects on why that is. She also offers solutions on how we can all show support to each other in more sensitive ways.
Annelise Lords shares an amusing story about a conversation where she explains her secrets to 34 years of marriage, and I totally get it. It’s seems so simple, yet it’s such sound advice.
More stories on Healing and Emotional Freedom.
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