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Abstract

same.Depending on who your employer is, you may have a very stable job or one that completely lacks stability. One mistake, you’re out, kind of job.There’s no countrywide safety net. In Norway, laws make it nearly impossible to fire someone. Here, it’s very much possible.By leaving Scandinavia, I lost that safe, stable and comforting feeling that I’d be fine in the workforce no matter what may happen.Depending on who your employer is, you may also have to work a 60-hour week in a 40-hour full-time role. You may also end up working 30 hours per week in a full-time job. Variations are big in the United States.In Norway, it’s often 8 am to 4 pm. Predictable, stable. Sometimes boring.<h2 id="1cac">Nature</h2>I let go of the ability to take a hike in a nearby mountain or forest.One where the trails aren’t paved and there are no railings. One where it’s 100 % authentic and not necessarily very safe. I know that it exists in the United States, but not in New York City or in the suburbs where I live now.I chose to let go of it.<figure id="36d1"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*9Fcflhkoo4lEu9ijTuWIOw.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by Sara Melissa Frost</figcaption></figure>I lost the ability to walk five minutes and be by the oceanside, watching the power of the waves. The ability to meet up with friends and family on a rainy day just for the sake of being active outdoors. (I can still do that here but odds are I’d be doing it alone and that’s just not the same).<h2 id="81c1">New perspective</h2>Thankfully, there is much more than losses here.I gained a new perspective on things. In the United States, nothing is just given to you. You have to work ridiculously hard to succeed but in return, there are no limits to what you can do. Switch careers at 40? No problem. Become a billionaire by age 35? Hard, but possible.Traveling and living overseas will do that to you. As you experience a new culture firsthand, short-term or long-term, you will gain new perspectives, even if you weren’t looking for it.I also gained a new respect for Americans.Rather than my before moving here judgmental thoughts about Americans, their foods, politics, and superficial fakeness, I se

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e it’s not just black and white.Norwegian news outlets don’t report what normal, day-to-day, United States is like. They report the crazy and that’s just not representative enough.Most Americans I’ve met are kind, hard-working and down-to-earth people. There’s more noise, for sure, but the majority of people want the calmness and not the drama.<h2 id="a2bc">A diverse network</h2>Even our neighborhood in a white-dominated suburb we live is much more diverse than where we lived in Norway. In our little bubble, most continents and several religions are represented.We don’t have any Australians on our block, though.We had an Australian in Norway, but not much else diversity, aside from my American husband from the United States.Being around people from different cultures and countries is one of the things I value the most about living in the United States. I love being in places where diversity is celebrated and welcomed.I think I’ve mentioned this before but our city center is outstanding at that, celebrating diversity. They recently became a certified Welcoming city by the national nonprofit <a href="https://welcomingamerica.org/">Welcoming America</a>. The nonprofit is leading a movement of inclusive communities becoming more prosperous by ensuring everyone belongs, including immigrants.<h2 id="1206">A new “family”</h2>I say “family” but they’re really family, my in-laws.They are amazing. During our first two years in the United States, we didn’t have any family close by since we lived in the NYC area. I didn’t miss family a lot back then because there was so much to explore and we were getting settled overseas doing our own thing.Now, we have my in-laws 10 minutes away. For some, it may be a worst-case scenario having your spouse’s family so close, but for me, it’s been nothing but good. They are amazing with our kids, they always, always show up, and they are actually fun to be around.In fact, part of me want to become like them when I grow up.These are only some of my thoughts about experiences lost and gained since moving overseas. After all, my walk was only about 45 minutes and there’s only so much thinking you can do in that amount of time.There will be more.</article></body>

Reflections After a Walk Among Fallen Leaves in My American Suburb

What I lost and what I gained by leaving Scandinavia

Leaving my homeland, Norway, a little over five years ago wasn’t heartbreaking for me. I wanted it. I was ready for the United States, and everything the future overseas would bring. I thought a bit about what I’d potentially lose. I reflected over if it would be worth it, worth leaving all things safe in Scandinavia.

As I took a long walk around our neighborhood the other day, leaves falling from those gorgeous trees served as a reminder of what I gave up. Now, living a suburban lifestyle in America, I am looking back, pondering over some of those thoughts I had before settling down in a new country.

Family

When choosing to settle down in the United States, I let go of frequent family time with my parents, my siblings, and my nieces.

Since I left, two of my siblings had kids, baby girls, and I wasn’t there for it. Covid happened and traveling was nearly impossible.

I lost seeing my nieces smile for the first time. I let go of the ability to hold them in my arms when they were infants. I missed seeing them take their first steps.

That was tough.

I love my family and I miss them. They’re only a phone call away, but everyone who’s part of an international family knows it’s not the same to do a virtual hug. This has been the hardest part for me.

I am not one who’s all about spending time with family all the time, doing Sunday dinners and board games. I enjoy knowing they’re not far away.

Now, they’re very far away.

Stability

I let go of a stable job.

It one wasn’t too hard for me, as I enjoy taking risks. I tend to get a bit bored when things feel too predictable. I worked for a local newspaper and although I (mostly) loved it, there wasn’t too much unpredictable or overly exciting to cover. Day to day, I usually knew what to expect. It was nice, but it also got a bit bland over time.

Stable jobs exist in the United States, but it’s just not the same.

Depending on who your employer is, you may have a very stable job or one that completely lacks stability. One mistake, you’re out, kind of job.

There’s no countrywide safety net. In Norway, laws make it nearly impossible to fire someone. Here, it’s very much possible.

By leaving Scandinavia, I lost that safe, stable and comforting feeling that I’d be fine in the workforce no matter what may happen.

Depending on who your employer is, you may also have to work a 60-hour week in a 40-hour full-time role. You may also end up working 30 hours per week in a full-time job. Variations are big in the United States.

In Norway, it’s often 8 am to 4 pm. Predictable, stable. Sometimes boring.

Nature

I let go of the ability to take a hike in a nearby mountain or forest.

One where the trails aren’t paved and there are no railings. One where it’s 100 % authentic and not necessarily very safe. I know that it exists in the United States, but not in New York City or in the suburbs where I live now.

I chose to let go of it.

I lost the ability to walk five minutes and be by the oceanside, watching the power of the waves. The ability to meet up with friends and family on a rainy day just for the sake of being active outdoors. (I can still do that here but odds are I’d be doing it alone and that’s just not the same).

New perspective

Thankfully, there is much more than losses here.

I gained a new perspective on things. In the United States, nothing is just given to you. You have to work ridiculously hard to succeed but in return, there are no limits to what you can do. Switch careers at 40? No problem. Become a billionaire by age 35? Hard, but possible.

Traveling and living overseas will do that to you. As you experience a new culture firsthand, short-term or long-term, you will gain new perspectives, even if you weren’t looking for it.

I also gained a new respect for Americans.

Rather than my before moving here judgmental thoughts about Americans, their foods, politics, and superficial fakeness, I see it’s not just black and white.

Norwegian news outlets don’t report what normal, day-to-day, United States is like. They report the crazy and that’s just not representative enough.

Most Americans I’ve met are kind, hard-working and down-to-earth people. There’s more noise, for sure, but the majority of people want the calmness and not the drama.

A diverse network

Even our neighborhood in a white-dominated suburb we live is much more diverse than where we lived in Norway. In our little bubble, most continents and several religions are represented.

We don’t have any Australians on our block, though.

We had an Australian in Norway, but not much else diversity, aside from my American husband from the United States.

Being around people from different cultures and countries is one of the things I value the most about living in the United States. I love being in places where diversity is celebrated and welcomed.

I think I’ve mentioned this before but our city center is outstanding at that, celebrating diversity. They recently became a certified Welcoming city by the national nonprofit Welcoming America. The nonprofit is leading a movement of inclusive communities becoming more prosperous by ensuring everyone belongs, including immigrants.

A new “family”

I say “family” but they’re really family, my in-laws.

They are amazing. During our first two years in the United States, we didn’t have any family close by since we lived in the NYC area. I didn’t miss family a lot back then because there was so much to explore and we were getting settled overseas doing our own thing.

Now, we have my in-laws 10 minutes away. For some, it may be a worst-case scenario having your spouse’s family so close, but for me, it’s been nothing but good. They are amazing with our kids, they always, always show up, and they are actually fun to be around.

In fact, part of me want to become like them when I grow up.

These are only some of my thoughts about experiences lost and gained since moving overseas. After all, my walk was only about 45 minutes and there’s only so much thinking you can do in that amount of time.

There will be more.