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Reflecting on the Past: The Good Old Days and Today

The 90s in Cameroon

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Growing up in the 90s was such a treasure. My little nephews and nieces won’t see that now. It’s even worse when I travel and discover some people have never seen what I saw and played all the games I played as a child. They have their grandparents watch their kids while they play. How can you enjoy playing when someone is watching? Imagine we had to play what we did back in the day with my mates. We all went around choosing the name of an actor we liked and nicknamed ourselves. In a kid's voice, “I am Jet Li, I am Jackie Chan, I am Arnold Schwarzenegger, I am Rambo, I am Michael Knight from Knight Rider, I am Jean-Claude Van Damme…” Then we start fighting each other like in the movies. Which granny will allow you to kick each other like that? So that game or playing won't be sweet.

Another one was having to wait on Saturdays for my mum to finish cooking lunch which was mostly one of the native Cameroonian dishes. Most of them took at least 3 to 4 hours for her to finish cooking them. To add to that she had to do it on a three-stone fireplace or sawdust. We waited until we were sleepy but in the end, it was so tasty we wanted to eat it all at once. Nowadays, people just order food online. That’s why some people can’t even cook. While waiting for Mum to finish cooking because I was hungry I learned some tricks and when she saw I was so hungry and it pained her she made me go break some firewood to distract me from thinking of it.

Do you know what it means on days I am home by myself and I just have to stream a blockbuster movie? I will cook for myself like it's a party, pour my juice into a cup with some ice cubes, and press play. ooh Boy! That food tastes different. I learned a house is only an apartment until you make it home by doing those little things no one cares to teach kids these days because they think it’s not necessary or they have to read it from a book. Charity begins at home, my friends. If we want the world to be a better place we have to start from our homes.

There was a time we heard stories of some men who had some kind of magical powers and when they greeted you, your private part would disappear and the only way to prevent that was to put on safety pins on your panties. So my mum put a pin on my panties to school and I won’t greet anyone on my way to school. I had to wash my shoes every time I came back from school since we had a gutter in front of the house. The water came from the well. We drank from it, it was very clean. I know some people are already cringing from hearing me say I drank from a well. haha! sweet old days.

We played a game we called “Tabala” normally called hopscotch in English. Both boys and girls could play it without making it about anything hysterical about today’s news and society. We will jump rope and play “Dodging” as we call it, kind of like Dodgeball but we have two players shooting the ball and one person in the middle dodging the ball. When he dodges the ball from one side he or she runs to the other side. We even made it more interesting by separating our slippers from each other. While you dodge the ball you have to rearrange each pair of slippers.

We knew everyone in our neighborhood, especially our age mates. Nowadays with all the buildings and apartments. People could live in the same community for 10 years and don’t know who is living on the other side. They only meet during neighborhood meetings.

We knew the guy who failed his exams before we got home and before his or her parents knew of it. We walked home together after school. There were not that many school buses though we had more later on. From the age of 5 years to 6 years we knew every road leading to school and our houses. I was taught to know my father’s full name and my mother’s full name, where I live, and the name of my neighborhood, and to add to that with the constant question of what I want to become in the future. We already started dreaming and visualizing a lot.

We still keep friends from primary school to date. A lot more than I have ever seen anywhere. Most of my young foreign friends don’t even remember their high school classmates. I know where my classmates are and what country they traveled to and what they are doing right now. We still keep in touch, especially with the WhatsApp groups and Facebook groups. We later added each other and started texting each other and even making time to go visit. Geez! what a time to have lived?

I remember my first time sneaking out of the house at night on Christmas day followed by my childhood friends Papou, Pitou, and Shylock. There was a new dance place for kids only. We paid 100 CFA francs and we didn't have any money. The whole afternoon we walked from one uncle's house to another wishing them Merry Christmas and maybe they will dash us some money. That money is what I used for the entrance fee and bought Fanta for the girl who I wanted to dance with me. Oh boy! I even smile as I write this. It was simple and so cute. And all of this I did knowing fully well when I get home I will get a whopping for staying out late at my age. Will I do it again? Maybe yes, but I will make sure not to get caught but at least I knew that was wrong to do. Why? because the passion they used in whopping my butt made me know that the idea of going out late at night was wrong. So that stuck at the back of my head.

Imagine this scenario: you decide to do your laundry by washing and drying your clothes outside, but then it unexpectedly starts raining, and you are not home, your neighbor comes to the rescue by collecting your clothes for you. Your neighbor was like another family member. He or she will check on your children while you are not home. I remember when your mother’s friend saw you standing in a corner with a girl and you would receive a slap on the back or she would start scolding “What are you doing with this girl? Who is she? Do I know your mother? Leave here before I call your mother”. Before you get home she already told your mum and your mum starts screaming at you. “Do you want to get a girl pregnant? Do you think it's easy to raise a kid? Don’t you want to go to school?” It took a village to raise a child. These days people are scared of getting into trouble or being accused of trying to steal other's clothes. People are even more scared of raising their kids because of what others will say or do. In some countries, their governments have allowed strangers to get into other people’s family squabbles. Children could be separated from their birth parents for any flimsy mistake which is a birth parent's decision.

Hence, there was no internet but messages traveled far and wide. Rumors could become reality. Just because a person was called a witch in a rumor, your parents or guardians will ask you not to play with their children because they were witches. Same as parents who were never home taking care of their kids and their kids became too playful or failed at school or became ruffians, your parents will tell you not to play with their kids because they were scared their kids would turn out like the other bad kid.

With the concept of what do I get at the end or what will this relationship profit me, we can come to the understanding that value and propositions have changed over time. There are more homes now without a father or no mother. Remember I am mostly talking from an African perspective but I understand it could be relatable. Without any contributions and values lost, more kids are now adults who haven’t a clue of what are their values as a race or as a people of a certain culture and from a certain environment. Hence, terms like Gen Z popping up here and there. They believe that belonging and adhering to your values restricts freedom and it’s a dictatorship. My question is, why would a group of people called the army go to war and fight for you while others die while you stay at home and eat? If there are no rules, core values, or indoctrination, why do they fight for the nation and you in particular? Do you think it’s just about choice?

Mums as we knew them to be at the time were more patient and focused on the objective, not the object, they knew their importance to society and the value of who they were as mothers and women so they couldn’t be easily swayed even though the social media narrative is winning a lot of votes. Compare that to these days with the groups instead pushing women out of matrimony, and encouraging the mothers to take their kids and live in a single-parent home. Husbands are protective of their property because anytime it could be taken away by a bad woman or wife - and laws are made one-sided. Putting into effect regulations that encourage the creation of groups that have not yet established their enduring core values, culture, and traditions that would stand the test of time.

The family bond has become so thin, that the things that break them don’t need to be that thick. It could be just a phone call that wasn’t picked up at the time she or he was calling or just one word. He or she felt ignored. Some men went to prison and when they came out their wife and kids were still there waiting on him. The wife took charge of everything just like nothing changed. It was tedious for her but neighbors could always contribute with clothes and other stuff anytime they could. When this man came back, his wife was so happy. He would go around thanking people who helped his wife during the hard times. His wife narrated everything that happened while he was away.

If you do something you know you will get a whopping. My mum never loved me to play football (soccer), if she caught me doing that I had to receive some strokes from her whip. Then came the talking.

“what if you break your hand what happens? do you know how much hospital bills cost these days? Do you know the pain you will be in?”

I wish she was here to see hospital bills today.

The family dynamic is different. My mum will know of a woman who just gave birth or a family who lost a family member. She will cook food, put it in a small basket, and send it to their home. These days people can’t eat anyone's food because of poisoning not because there was no poisoning back then but because social media has amplified what we already knew and that already existed in our societies. Most people say social media is destroying society. I say social media is just an amplification of what already exists. Now it's in your face you can see what just happened 3 minutes ago in your backyard. It’s scary, right? It’s like imagining an elephant and it appears right now, won’t you be scared? That’s exactly why older people are scared and hate social media. It's too real. It’s almost like an attack especially if it decides to spread fake news. It’s as real as the truth. Therefore, dangerous to an extent, depending on the user.

People are more protective of their space and time. People will take time from far and wide to come visit a bereaved. some will sleep on the floor and spend days with the bereaved. That, I witnessed personally. The ethic of human nature was very precise. This is good and that is bad. This is what we as a people are morally obliged to do and this is not. Today, there is no difference and no line. Anyone is doing it as they feel like. Maybe also because life has become harder. But then people before fought more wars than nowadays so I won’t know why!

It was funny how they even knew whose husband liked pepper and which didn't. What food did each person's husband not like or whose husband was more likely to be angry about something? I don’t think today that will be considered ok. Either the husband is accused of cheating because “how did she know you didn’t like pepper? Papa Ngoh tell me make i really know. Abeg really tell me?”(pidgin English)

There is more distrust than before and yet people wonder why marriages don’t work. These days people even make rules before marriage or make contracts because for sure these days if not, you will turn out like Steve Harvey losing everything over and over.

Muslims or Christians didn't have as much banter as today. We all knew each other's limits. No need to push each other to the wall. On Christmas, they knew we were celebrating and some houses would send food to the Muslim houses and they would take it. When it was their turn to celebrate Ramadan, we the children would even be the first to ask our Muslim friends when was the day and were their parents going to roast a lamb or a cow. We will be there first there to eat and drink Fanta or D’jino cocktail.

Another thing was the age at which the kids left home. Most male kids by the time they are 23 or 25 years old have already left home for work after school and are likely to stay where they are until they get a job. I think this is where it differs because time is changing and life is not the same as before. We can’t provide ourselves with the basic needs our parents had in the yesteryears at a certain age. Parents still support their 35-year-old kids at home who have no jobs because most of our countries have been deep into corruption like oil in a plastic cup. There is no way change is coming anytime soon with politicians like ours.

Sometimes, it feels good just thinking of the good old days. Just think of how you grew up and the things that happened around you without even comparing them to today. It just makes you smile. Think of the funny stuff a friend did and the game that almost took your life or the day you had your first kiss under some tree and how it took you months to convince a girl to meet you somewhere. HAHA!

Thanks for reading and I wish you all a happy week.

These are some of my previous articles

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