Reflecting On A Particular Thanksgiving Memory In America As An Immigrant
The 2017 Thanksgiving was a rollercoaster of emotions.
I spent 7 Thanksgivings in America before moving out of the country. But one particular Thanksgiving remains to be an unforgettable memory.
My very first Thanksgiving as an immigrant was quite mediocre. I was neither alone nor surrounded by loved ones. I was too busy and broke as a student to do much.
A bunch of us friends just checked out the sales in the mall, ordered a big old pizza to our dorms, and called it a day.
My second thanksgiving though, was “The One”. I got invited by my then-bestfriend to her aunt’s place in New York, where the rollercoaster of tough life lessons mixed with sweet memories took off.
A High From New York City
That thanksgiving, I witnessed New York City in all its glory for the first time in my life. I fell in love with the city. It lived up to its hype, at least for a tourist. The diversity and the living, breathing vibe of the city gave me a different kind of high.
I fell in love with the suburbs too where I was staying at my friend’s aunt’s place.
We celebrated thanksgiving in the Indian style by cooking Indian food. It was a lovely evening.
But disappointment was waiting for me right around the corner.
A Low From Incompatible Friendships
I was excited to spend time with my best friend and explore the city with her as she had planned.
But she had a last-minute change of plans. She decided to spend time with her other Uni friends who happened to be in town. Their plan was to get drunk.
I swore to myself I was not going to waste precious time drinking alcohol with some frat boys, when there was so much city to be explored in such limited time. I was also pissed off at my friend for inviting me over for 5 days if she was only going to spend 2 days with me. What was she expecting me to do? Marinate in the guest room?
The last thing I needed on a Thanksgiving trip was an argument with the person who invited me in the first place. So I swallowed up my feelings.
The next day, I set out determined to explore New York by myself. I was in the “I don't need anyone, I am fine by myself even on a damn holiday” mood after the disappointing turn of events with my friend.
Yet deep down, I knew that I kinda needed her. I may be emotionally strong, but I’m pretty weak when it comes to directions and navigation. And New York is an advanced-level navigation game. I’m just a noob, as they call the beginners in the gaming lingo.
I couldn’t grasp the naming conventions of all the trains and streets, and their ridiculous schedules and avenues.
It was and still is a damn maze. And I’m just a small beach town, immigrant girl in a world-class city, abandoned by her local friend.
But luckily, my friend’s aunt and uncle were cool, so they gave me the exact algorithm for my commute. I noted down when, where, and which trains and buses I needed to catch.
A High Again
I still got on the wrong train.
But I managed to find my way back again, surprisingly. That gave me a new thrill — that maybe, I always underestimated my own abilities.
It was then that confidence started pouring into my body, and the magic of New York started to heal the disappointment and anger inside me from the previous events.
As I set out solo, I felt empowered in my abilities, and freed from negative emotions. Memories of the ferry ride to the Statue of Liberty, and the wind on the 86th floor of the mighty Empire State Building, got etched into my heart and soul forever.
I got back in one piece. And I took home some cherished memories — of my friend’s sweet aunt and uncle, NYC and my solo adventure.
That adventure was a significant milestone for me in my early adult life in the US. It gave me the confidence to set into motion the rest of my travel plans in America. I realized I didn’t need companionship or a tour guide to travel and explore.
I just needed money, which I knew I was going to make enough of one day.
All in all, that particular Thanksgiving taught me a couple things:
- That homesickness was going to get to me someday. I need my family during the holiday season and that my life in the US is not sustainable beyond my 20s.
- That my friend has a tendency to make promises she can’t keep. Her word cannot be taken seriously.
- That I was starting to expect other people to fill my void of not having any loved ones in the US. That’s going to strain my relations and make me co-dependent someday.
- That I can explore a strange city all by myself as a young female tourist. I’m capable and far from a damsel. I got mad skills.
- That I’m a grandma on the inside who loves the suburbs more than the city.
- I <3 NYC