MWC

Reflecting On a Life Well-Lived

And a career of service

This is a story about coffee, state-sponsored gambling, and a life well-lived. It’s the story of Rose Shelton. Many knew her as a coworker and mentor. Others likely can’t recall her name, but remember the influence she had on their lives. Everyone knew her as a bright light.

I knew her as my grandmother.

In basketball, the 6th man is usually the best player not in the starting 5. They can score but are also used when the team needs a spark. They’re both catalysts and playmakers. They may be in a supporting role, but the starters are better players because of them.

Off the court, we often have a roster of 6th men and/or women who give us a boost. We don’t always give it much thought but take the time to think about it, and you’ll see they’re everywhere.

There are the obvious ones such as a partner or spouse. Your “ride or die” friends make the cut too. If you really want to get in the weeds, we can talk about the barista that makes your coffee every day. Couldn’t make it without them, right? But go a little deeper, and you’ll see people like coaches who gave you just the boost you needed, right when you needed it.

We celebrated my grandmother’s life last month. It was a small affair (thanks COVID!), packed with the fond memories and the sorts of stories you’d expect from a life well-lived. It was, well, sentimental.

People talked about how she taught them to dance — I too learned while standing on her feet as she guided me around her living room — we usually listened to Dean Martin.

Others noted that she gave them their first job at the department store where she worked for so many years. I knew she’d worked there, and I had a vague idea that she worked in the back.

What I didn’t know until the service was that she’d worked her way up to credit manager. And in turn, used that position to extend 100’s of women their first lines of credit. That might be fairly routine today, but in the 1950s and ’60s it was unheard of — women often still needed a husband or other man to cosign for them.

Sure, some of these ladies just used it to buy a dress or two, and that was that. But for many, this simple act was the first empowering step on the road to financial independence.

They just needed someone to believe in them.

In 1998, I took a company transfer from Portland Oregon to Memphis. It was a big move literally/metaphorically/geographically. Making this jump was a springboard to a career still going 20+ years later.

Our contract provided up to 5 days paid to relocate, but that was paid retroactively. In the meantime, I was left scrambling to pay to get there — early 20’s me didn’t do a whole lot of advance planning.

In those days, I would take my grandmother on her weekly errand run, which included buying her lottery tickets and playing Keno. She would have a cup of coffee, dust a Marlboro or two, and “yell” at the monitors. That week, she gave me $20 with a mandate that I play video poker. “You’re gonna hit, I can feel it,” she said.

She had faith. She believed.

I’m not a man of faith, but I sat at the service and listened politely to Amazing Grace, and a couple of other standard-issue hymnals. When the pastor announced that we’d end with one more song, I groaned a little inside. But a strange thing happened as the first few notes of Doris Day’s Sentimental Journey filled the chapel; people started quietly singing along. I looked around and saw a lot of smiles.

Just as she’d have wanted it.

My grandmother had 8 lives and lived them all at 150 mph. Through it all, she had two principles she swore by; trust the universe and be nice. In practical terms, the latter meant adding extra time to any outing. We couldn’t go anywhere without her either running into an old friend or making a new one. Zooming out a little, it means leaving the world a little better than you found it. A little belief in others goes a long way — at home or at work.

It’s a safe bet that my grandmother never touched a basketball in her 97 years on this planet. But like the proverbial 6th man, she spent her time making sure those around her were just a little bit better off.

She may have left us, but not before defying her nurses and hanging on for an extra day…because that’s just how she was. Living life on her own terms, and pulling up anyone lucky enough to enter her orbit. If there’s a lesson here, maybe it’s that we should follow her example. No easy feat in 2021, but that makes it more urgent than ever.

Wherever she is, I hope the coffee’s on, her numbers come in, and her dance card’s full.

As for my playing that $20? That worked out pretty well.

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