avatarNatalie Frank, Ph.D.

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Abstract

com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fembed%2F82hkeJ7Q6Dc%3Ffeature%3Doembed&display_name=YouTube&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D82hkeJ7Q6Dc&image=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2F82hkeJ7Q6Dc%2Fhqdefault.jpg&key=a19fcc184b9711e1b4764040d3dc5c07&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=youtube" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" width="854"> </div> </div> </figure></iframe></div></div></figure><p id="1a3d">As part of my confidence coaching, I often recommend the ‘Talk To The Wall’ challenge, in which the goal is to talk to an inanimate object for two minutes without stopping.</p><p id="8d47">Give it a try. The video above includes a demonstration.</p><p id="2922">This challenge should flip a switch in your mind, because it encourages you to focus on talking, rather than impressing someone. It’ll prove that you can talk without running out of things to say. All you have to do is <b>let go</b>. Normally, you’ll end up amusing yourself too. After all, when you have the choice of all the topics in the world, you’ll naturally pick something that tickles your interest.</p><p id="b9d3">When you let go of impressing people, you have all the topics in the world at your disposal in the real world too.</p><p id="65b6">People with high self-confidence have no problems believing that everything they have to say is ‘good enough’. Most likely, they received plenty of positive feedback as a child and carried that into their adult life.</p><p id="9b18">These people believe everything they say has value purely because it comes from them. Indeed, everyone has a unique perspective on life and if it’s delivered in a passionate manner, it can interest others.</p><p id="0e09">To become one of these highly-confident people, see my list of <a href="https://readmedium.com/10-proven-self-confidence-tips-to-gain-unstoppable-charisma-78d2cdee68eb">10 tips to skyrocket your self-esteem</a>.</p><h1 id="c7de">But Seriously, What Should I Say?!</h1><figure id="36dc"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*oBP71_LwwdFZD3Ar"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@jarritos?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Jarritos Mexican Soda

Options

</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="6a00">Some dating coaches will give their students examples of pick-up lines or conversation starters.</p><p id="c52b">However, this canned material typically only works because the students believe in it. If the lines were delivered with no enthusiasm or self-belief, they wouldn’t hook anyone’s interest.</p><p id="0bd3">Without any core confidence to back them up, it’s also common that they’ll let the conversation die once the clever lines run out.</p><p id="a6ce">With that said, it can help anxious people to go into conversations with some topics to fall back on if their mind goes blank.</p><p id="c222">So, here are some topics you can slip into any conversation:</p><ul><li><b>What do you want? </b>What is the reason you’re talking to this person? Take the next step to getting that thing.</li><li><b>Are they your type of person? </b>What are the qualities you’re looking for in a friend/partner? Ask them a question where the answer will hint if they have these qualities.</li><li><b>Your surroundings.</b> What can you see, hear or smell? Comment on it.</li><li><b>What happened to you recently? </b>If you’ve been living a fun and active life, you should always have things to talk about. At the same time, you can also excite people by passionately sharing your opinion on the television show you’ve been watching.</li><li><b>What do you want to do later? </b>Your future ambitions, whether it’s for that evening or next year, will always be a suitable conversation topic.</li></ul><p id="cda9">When you let go of worrying about what to say, you’ll not only be able to generate endless conversation topics, you’ll also find yourself making clever jokes and witty comebacks. That’s what happens when you get out of your own way and stop filtering yourself.</p><p id="6949"><i>My book ‘<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0811T9513">4 Weeks To Unstoppable Confidence</a>’ features 28 daily challenges to boost your assertiveness, bravery and charisma to unstoppable levels. The tasks start simple and get tougher with time, allowing even the shyest mice to build the momentum to skyrocket their confidence.</i></p></article></body>

Rediscovered

Sometimes it’s easier to put memories away along with grief when loss is profound.

Source: Pxhere (CC BY 2.0)

dark mottled blue green hidden landscape starlit shells an upside down sky

enticing glade calls walls of forest speak my name I gather them close

blanketing twilight heart touched remembrances honeyed tears falling

Natalie Frank (Taye Carrol) has had work featured in Haunted Waters Press, Weirdbook Magazine, Siren’s Call Publications, Lycan Valley Press and Zero Fiction among others. Her poetry has been featured in several anthologies. She is Editor for 1-One-Infinity, The Partnered Pen and One Table, One World and is Editor in Chief for Promposity and Mental Gecko. She is also the Managing Editor for Novellas and Serials at LVP Publications.

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You can find links to my other work on Medium and follow me here. Thanks for reading and for supporting Mental Gecko!

Poetry
Nature
Grief
Memories
Loss
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