Reconnecting

A haiku series

Words trapped within me As if I’ve been emptied of Thoughts; how can this be?

My mind ablaze with To-do’s, unfinished business Work and court and kids.

I’m in overdrive And yet emptied, out of touch With my inner self.

I must decompress Take time out for me, self-care Find myself again.

Offer solace to My inner child, hold her close And let her be — me.

I just returned from abroad, where I reunited with my family since-pandemic. Prior to this, I was with my kids and family out of state.

I’ve been with people, in togetherness, for three weeks.

A week ago I returned home — to an empty house. My kids were with their dad and the house was quiet. Jet lagged and exhausted I slowly settled back into my routine. I bought myself my weekly sunflowers, went to the grocery store, caught up on sleep, and so forth.

Two days later, ready or not, it was back-to-school for my kids and back-to-work for me and the transition has been — well — a transition!

I hadn’t quite realized the toll it had taken on me — traveling for what felt like 3000 hours from abroad to being thrust right back into my day-to-day life. No wonder I can’t quite tap into my feelings, my thoughts, or produce anything of substance. I am overwhelmed and still a little exhausted (jet lag is no joke, especially with an 8-hour time difference), and I haven’t been alone in three weeks! I need to relearn how to do this.

For the last three weeks, I had abandoned all of my daily rituals and self-care practices, replacing them with the gift of family togetherness. I haven’t read more than five pages, haven’t written a thing, and was constantly on the go — loving every moment of my travels and togetherness.

I need to give myself a minute to adjust, even if my outer life can’t give it to me.

Yes, I have to get the kids off to school and go to work, but I can readjust my own expectations of myself in my own head. I can give myself the time to transition, to adjust, to produce less or different, to just sit and be with wherever it is that I am — to allow myself the freedom to be in the moment — in my moment.

Last night — I went to bed at 8:00 p.m. I edited some stories (to my writers — I’m so sorry, I’m behind), read some stories, made some progress in the book I’ve been reading for what feels like forever, and went to sleep at 9:00 p.m. This morning, as my kids are at their dad’s, I gave myself permission to stay in bed and read and edit and be lazy because I can and because my inner-self is begging for it.

And then I challenged myself to haiku-it — whatever it was.

And here we are — one poem/story later. I guess the words are in there after all — they just needed to be lovingly invited out from wherever they were.

Remember to always meet yourself where you are first — before you leap forward towards the life of your dreams!

Galit Birk, PhD is a therapist-in-training, a parent coach, a life coach, and a forever student of life. She is a writer, an editor, and a poet. She is a mother of two, a former runner, and a want-to-be yogi. She is a deep-feeler who lives life with passion and transparency. She is committed to people having it all and living their best lives! Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.