Seeing the Abilities You Have and Don’t Have — Moments of Self-Awareness.

Be proud of both these awarenesses and keep moving.

Abilities — let’s be clear — you have a few, and you don’t have many.

And, there is nothing to worry about.

Those “few” and “many” can make a lot of difference in yours and others’ lives.

The key is to be aware of the ones you have and make use of them in such a way to compensate for the ones you don’t have.

That will be your win. That will ensure progress.

If you know your abilities, great. If you don’t, that’s wonderful too, because then you can chart out the path of identifying yourself.

The realization of what your abilities are and what abilities you don’t have, both are moments of self-awareness.

Looking at the negative is easy. Whether you see it in yourself or others, that’s a comfort zone. That gives pleasure.

Looking at the positives is difficult. Always. It needs a conscious effort. It needs a hard look. It needs a big heart.

Want to test?

• Make a list of the abilities you have.
• Now, make a list of abilities which you feel you don’t have.

Which one is longer?

Obviously, the second one. It will be. It will always be. For you, for me, for everyone.

Now, go back to the first list.

Pick these abilities and go out to create all the difference in this world. Make this World beautiful.

The second list will take care of itself.

Skills and Abilities

Before we go ahead — let me be very clear, we are not talking about skills.

Skills are learned behaviour. You can learn the n-number of skills in your lives.

We are talking about Abilities. They come to us naturally.

My ability is to write and express. I am not proficient with expressing verbally. Does that make me any lesser than others?

No.

Should I try, work hard, and improve?

Yes. No. Maybe — All options are open.

The self-awareness is helping me be calm with the fact that I am not an extrovert; I am not good at parties; I am not the best with public speaking. When I am aware, that’s half the battle won because then I am open to action and change.

The ability to express through written words and a few new skills along with the awareness of abilities & skills which I don’t have; can help me improve on the shortfalls.

External judgment

If you, too, are aware of your existing abilities and the ones you don’t have, then people’s judgment and evaluation will not matter.

As Tim Grover says, “We all are born with some birth abilities. Sometimes we find them on our own, and sometimes others help us find them. But it’s there. It’s always present, hiding in the corner and waiting to be discovered.”

Similarly, some abilities are not present. When people evaluate or judge you for that, they make a mistake by ignoring something and prioritizing the ones which are not present.

“He can’t do that.”

“He doesn’t have these skills.”

“He lacks basic knowledge.”

If people are validating you for the skills you don’t have instead of the skills, you have, and it bothers you, things fall apart for both sides.

While playing the role of an employee or an entrepreneur or a homemaker or a family member, we are judged and tested — every day. The challenge is to not take the evaluation on the heart but to be indifferent and keep making the little progress each day.

Indifferent!

Then how will I learn?

Remember, be indifferent when you know your abilities, and you are sure that the other person is trying to judge you on the ones “not available” vs the ones “available”.

If you decide to be indifferent without this self-awareness, you are missing an opportunity to learn an important lesson. So, be careful.

Our grooming

No. I will not put all the blame on the upbringing and the grooming. Yes, they play an important role while deciding what and how you pursue in your life, but it’s your birth abilities which when identified at the right time makes all the difference.

A few people are good at numbers, and a few have the innate ability to decipher the science behind things, a few of us are good in arts or sports.

• So what are you good at?
• What are your birth abilities?
• What are the abilities you don’t have or you lack?

If you are staring at the screen with no answer. It’s time to act.

The earlier you try to decipher this, the better and faster your life will reach the position you always want to see.

Learning from the evaluation models which are thrown at us — mark sheets, organization ratings, rankings; is one powerful way to grow. But an even stronger way to grow is to keep them aside, think afresh, and assess whether these models are perfect.

If not, then why bother?

Compensate

My ability to write largely compensate my inability to connect verbally. Remember, it’s “largely” and not completely.

If I put my efforts towards what I am good at, my journey towards success and happiness will be 10X as compared to when I put efforts to do what I am not good at.

Organizations

Learn from a big organization. A CFO’s job is to keep numbers in order. The business head takes care of big clients. The operations head keeps the operations team going in order. The banker has his/her own role.

Each of them is using this simple method of making the best use of their available abilities while compensating the ones which they don’t have. If in a large team this identification matters, it matters in your individual life too. Individuals make an organisation!

Sports

Whether its a team sport or individual sport. In a team, everyone has a role. Try and change the combination, and you can experience a change in the results.

In an individual sport, the player knows the shortfalls. His/her coach, trainers, staff members, make sure that he performs his/her best using the skills & abilities which is present meanwhile being always aware of the shortfalls.

A team sport is like a big organization where each one has a specific objective and the player tries and perform their best using the available skills and abilities.

We can make this World great with the abilities we have and not with the ones we don’t have.

Does that mean not to work hard to build the abilities which we don’t have?

No, it means to work hard to gain and refine the skills required to improve your abilities.

That will help you build a success story faster.

While reading the book “Feel the fear and do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers, she mentioned a fascinating concept.

The transition from Pain to Power

She mentions the word “Power” not in a negative undertone. She says it means “the power within the self.” Power to do what is necessary, the power to create joy and satisfaction, the power to act, to love and to succeed at everything you touch.

Pain — I can’t; I should; It’s not my fault; It’s a problem; I’m never satisfied; Life’s a struggle; I hope; If only; What will I do?; It’s terrible.

Power — I won’t; I could; I’m totally responsible; It’s an opportunity; I want to learn and grow; Life’s an adventure; I know; Next time; I know I can handle it; It’s a learning experience.

Just by changing your vocabulary, you can move from pain to power.

Change your vocabulary, change your attitude towards the abilities you have vs you don’t have, and suddenly things will start taking positive turns.

Just like that.

Nishith is a Marathoner, an avid reader, aspiring author, YouTuber, Podcaster, and a personal transformation coach. His simple philosophy and belief — “Small and Consistent Improvements.”

He is the creator of a unique self-transformation platform — “Be Better Bit-By-Bit,” through which he endeavours to bring small positive changes in people’s lives each day.

Listen to his Be Better Bit-By-Bit and 10 Bullets — 100 Words Book Summary podcasts.