Recalling Our Distant Unity with the Fungal Mushroom Kingdom

Summary

The text reflects on the evolutionary divergence of humans from the fungal kingdom, lamenting the loss of a unified, carefree existence in favor of the complexities of human life.

Abstract

The article "Recalling Our Distant Unity with the Fungal Mushroom Kingdom" is a nostalgic reflection on the evolutionary history of life on Earth, particularly the split between humans and fungi. It criticizes the evolutionary decision to develop legs and the ability to manipulate objects, suggesting that these advancements have led to a life filled with unnecessary complications, such as work, crime, and the need for formal education. The author yearns for the simplicity of the fungal existence, where knowledge was shared instantaneously across a fungal network, and life was free from the burdens of labor, possession, and separation. The text paints a picture of a harmonious past where fungi traveled the cosmos effortlessly, in stark contrast to the human condition, which the author views as a regrettable step away from a utopian state of unity and freedom.

Opinions

The author views the evolutionary split from the fungal kingdom as a grave mistake, labeling it as the result of idiocy and assholery.
There is a strong sense of loss for the freedom experienced by fungi, which included traveling through space and being at one with the cosmos.
The author believes that the need to gather nutrients, walk, and engage in labor is a step backward from the effortless existence fungi once enjoyed.
The text suggests that the fungal way of life, which included sharing knowledge instantaneously and lacking crime or possessions, was superior to human life.
The author expresses a desire to return to the primordial unity with the fungal kingdom, indicating a deep dissatisfaction with the human state of being.
The decision to evolve into humans is criticized as a cosmic-scale blunder, with the progenitor of the idea being labeled as the first asshole and an idiot.
The article conveys a longing for a time when learning was collective and instantaneous, contrasting it with the contemporary need for formal education.
The author reflects on the absence of crime and worries in the fungal kingdom, implying that human society has become unnecessarily complex and burdensome.

Assholery and idiocy have a long history of coexistence with the human race.

Even longer than most people think. Before we even had legs, back when we were at one with our cosmic brothers and sisters in the fungus kingdom. It didn’t take long for some asshole to think, “Hey, wouldn’t it be neat if we could walk and pick things up?” And thus, assholey and idiocy on Earth, along with the first protohumans were born.

By now, it’s easy to see what idiots we were for going along with that assholes suggestion.

We should have never spit from the fungus kingdom.

I want to go back to freedom! The freedom we felt riding on the cosmic winds sailing through the galaxies, planting our spores on asteroids, planets, moons, and wherever the fuck we felt like planting our spores.

That was freedom. Now, here we are stuck with these legs and arms, needing to gather nutrients for ourselves instead of them being brought to us. Needing to walk to get anywhere on a single solitary planet instead of soaring through the cosmos. Remember if we wanted to explore, we’d just get ingested by some animal then guide its mind to wherever we wanted to go?

Life was simple then.

When we arrived at our desired destination, we’d just have our transport shit us out. When we regrew at our desired location, we’d have spawned a few new brother and sister spores as well. What the hell did we need legs for?

Whoever thought of becoming human and splitting from the fungal kingdom was truly the first asshole.

There wasn’t any crime, either.

No possessions except for the knowledge of our Oneness with infinite creation. A joyful judgment-free creation we were intimately connected to. We didn’t have any worries back then. There was nothing to worry about. We would just playfully sing all day.

I want to ring the neck of whoever talked us into splitting off from our cosmic family and starting our own species those 1.5 billion years ago. That has got to be hands down the single worst idea in the history of all the universes known and unknown.

Recalling Our Distant Unity with the Fungal Mushroom Kingdom

What idiot thought it was a good idea to split off and evolve?

Assholery and idiocy have a long history of coexistence with the human race.

We should have never spit from the fungus kingdom.

Life was simple then.

Now we have to work for a living.

We didn’t have to go to school.

There wasn’t any crime, either.

No crime, no jealousy, no work, and no separation.