Summary

The article discusses the personal growth and self-reliance benefits of living alone, emphasizing the value of solitude for self-discovery, skill development, and improved relationships.

Abstract

The author, reflecting on their experience at age 22 of moving to France and living alone in a minimalistic dorm room, advocates for the enriching aspects of solitary living. Despite initial excitement, the author acknowledges the challenges, such as loneliness and the daunting responsibilities of adulthood. However, they argue that the discomforts are outweighed by the comfort, independence, and self-confidence gained from managing one's own space and life. The article highlights the advantages of living alone, including the freedom to establish personal routines, the opportunity for self-care, and the absence of interpersonal friction. It also suggests that living alone can lead to the development of new skills, boost self-confidence, and provide a setting for profound self-discovery, ultimately contributing to healthier relationships with others.

Opinions

The author believes that the initial excitement of living alone does not necessarily fade, suggesting that the experience can be continually rewarding.
They normalize the feeling of loneliness and emphasize the importance of finding a balance between solitude and social interaction.
The article posits that facing the fear of being alone can lead to increased independence and self-confidence.
It is expressed that managing the responsibilities of living alone, while challenging, is a valuable learning experience that can be eased with advice from more experienced individuals.
The author is of the opinion that the comfort and freedom of living alone, such as organizing one's space and managing personal time, are significant benefits.
They assert that living alone provides an environment conducive to self-improvement, skill acquisition, and personal growth.
The author cites self-discovery as a key advantage of solitary living, allowing individuals to understand and better themselves without external distractions.
They conclude that living alone can enhance one's relationships by fostering a sense of inner balance and self-reliance, making time spent with family and friends more valuable.

Reasons Why You Should Live Alone At Least Once

Reflections on my own experience living alone and reasons everyone should experience it

Photo by Vinicius “amnx” Amano on Unsplash

At the age of 22, I have made the decision of moving to France to pursue my higher education.

The thing I was the most excited about, was living by myself in a small minimalistic dorm room.

Yes, you read that right! I was so psyched about the idea of living by myself, in a 130 sqft space for the very first time.

When I used to tell people about my excitement, most of them, especially those who have experienced living by themselves, would assure me that the feeling WILL eventually fade away.

Is that hunger for solitude really a temporary thing?

So I just decided to go with the flow and see if the feeling changes or not.

If you are a person facing the decision of moving into a new space by themselves, whether you are excited or terrified, I hope you find this article insightful!

“Nothing is perfect in this world, everything has its pros and cons..”

-Nivendita sharma

Being aware of the cons is a good thing, and what better than arming oneself with the knowledge to compensate for them.

Loneliness

“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.”

– Albert Einstein

Have you ever experienced the feeling of loneliness?

You do not have to be alone to feel lonely; everybody felt it. I even think that it should be normalized.

I found that balancing spending time alone and spending time with others can be very helpful.

I personally never became aware of how much interacting with people, even for less than an hour a week, has been important in my life. Especially during the lockdown, after isolating myself for almost two months, I have realized that something as little as going to the supermarket and being surround by few strangers was making a difference (and I am the kind of person who hates gatherings).

We, humans, are social beings, and even without awareness, being surrounded by others from time to time can be comforting.

The point of balance between spending time alone and with others differs from one person to another. Finding that balance can be hard, but it is an essential task in the process of understanding and exploring one’s self.

Now, the fear of being alone can be related to a lack of self-confidence. One should be their own best friend FIRST! When you overcome this feeling of fear, you acquire independence and confidence as a result.

All that new adult stuff

The responsaBIL(L)ities as I like to call them.

I remember the first 3 months of me living by myself. All the new bills I had to manage, the different paperwork for my visa, insurance, phone line… I knew nothing about how to do this! And I still don’t know how to do most of it by myself.

Fixing things alone or having to call a technician is a painful task. You find yourself obliged to clean up every mess alone.
The food is expensive and spoils quickly!
Anxiety emerges with all the overwhelming responsibilities. Which can be very challenging to deal with (I still personally look for ways to deal with this particular one).

Learning how to manage alone is a process everybody is going to go through. Asking for help and insight from experienced people can also accelerate this learning process.

But man I got to admit, this is the WORST part of living alone.

Now, I know this may sound hard to live by, but the pros outweigh the cons:

1. It is SO comfortable!

You get to do what you want, when you want and how you want.

Experiencing different routines should not be a problem anymore. You can choose to wake up at any time, sleep as late or as early as you want, and just decide for yourself!

There have been days where I would wake up at 5 AM, spread the curtains wide open, and just enjoy the sunrise. And there have been days where I would sleep in.

You can also choose between working in peace and quiet, or jamming out to your favorite Spotify playlist while getting stuff done!
You get to take care of yourself. The first time I have ever had a self-care routine was when I moved to my personal space. Taking care of yourself can also be done when living with other people, but it comes so much more naturally when living alone.
Your place stays exactly the way you left it.
You get to organize your space as you please. Which can help in staying focus and motivated, especially if you have to be productive studying/working from home.
Inviting people over if you want to and when you want to.
Not having to engage in small talk, especially after a long day.
Not having to deal with someone’s bad habits.
You can walk around naked. Running from the shower to your room before someone sees you? I have been there, but NO MORE.

2. Learning new skills and boosting self-confidence

Speaking from my own experience, I have never learned as many skills as when I lived alone. I read way more books, listened to so many new podcasts, learned how to play an instrument, started writing, had a part-time job for the first time, learned how to cook, how to do household chores, acquired the skill of planning whether it’s money management or daily tasks… And the list goes on.

When you live alone, you learn how to stand up on your feet. This leads to building confidence to start experiencing new things.

You will end up learning how to be yourself and find new ways to better YOURSELF and nobody else.

3. Self-discovery

“Living alone . . . affords an unparalleled opportunity to know yourself, to be yourself, and to develop yourself as a unique and interesting individual.”

-Phyllis Hobe

The beauty of isolation resigns in offering the ideal settings for one to know themselves better than they ever have. You will discover things you need to work on, and you will also surprise yourself with how much you are already capable of handling. You get the time and space to ship the focus to your inner self and reflect.

4. Better relationships

Living alone teaches how to find inner balance, which helps create better relationships.

People in romantic relationships, for example, have to understand that 1 + 1 is not equal to 1. Everybody should learn how to be a whole individual. When you rely on yourself, you feel more complete and you build that feeling of self-reliance, which is essential for a solid relationship.
Living alone makes you cherish time spent family with and friends. This means that you get to enjoy their company even more.

Living alone is not something to be afraid of, but rather something to look up for!