Reasons Why Asexuality Is Extremely Misunderstood — Myth Busting
We are talking about asexuality. Let me be clear: asexuality is not a consequence from living a bad experience that causes rejection to any idea related to sex.
Asexuality has been extremely misunderstood over the years and justified with living bad experiences and, in a strong need to protect yourself, you stop having that sexual impulse towards others. But, I am afraid, this is not asexuality.
To be precise, before we continue, asexuality reflects a lack of interest in sex, not fear or aversion to it. In other words, sex is an activity which doesn’t attract their attention… just as you may not attract many others :)
Let’s start by myth-busting some of the most popular thoughts on asexuality and have a glance on how it’s still extremely misunderstood in our society.
Asexual People Can’t Fall In Love
Asexual people can fall in love. They live romantic love. They like hugs, kisses… They want to feel that connection with the other person, yet they have no carnal desire.
They can live as a couple without problem. Although, there are also asexual people who declare themselves aromantic. Usually, as you can imagine, asexual people look for a like-minded partner (like a vegan or religious or gym addicted).
Still, what happens if they fall in love with someone other than themselves?
Nothing happens. Asexuals don’t reject sex. They just aren’t attracted to their partner in that sense. Actually, they are not motivated to have sex of any kind with anyone, it’s not personal.
Does this have something to do with religion? With a certain culture?
Again, we reiterate our refusal. It is simply a new way of living and seeing relationships differently than most understand them.
Asexuality Rejects Sexual Impulse
So, as we mentioned, asexuals do not feel any sexual interest towards others, however, they do have sexuality and enjoy it. Asexual people can masturbate. One thing is to have sexual impulse and, another, to need for someone to “get you horny”. Therefore, they can still enjoy an orgasm and have sexual impulse and lack of interest towards others.
“People ask me that, if I haven’t tried having sex with others, how do I know I would reject it?. What I think is…if you are heterosexual and have not had sex with someone who is the same gender, how can you know you would dislike having a homosexual relationship?” — Asexual girl, 23
Asexuality Is A Form Of Self-defense Mechanism
Asexuality is one of the many forms of identity which promotes bonding relationships based on romanticism without having the erotic as a priority objective. It’s absolutely not the result of defense mechanisms such as repression, sublimation or displacement of desire towards other objectives, due to trauma, violence, little stimulation and exploration, lacking sexual education, etc.
You don’t always need a physiological cause to explain a chosen new way of living.