Reasons Trump is Wonderful

Summary

The article "Reasons Trump is Wonderful" satirically lists reasons why some Republicans view Donald J. Trump favorably despite his unpopularity and controversial actions.

Abstract

The content of the webpage is a satirical take on the reasons why Donald J. Trump, the former President of the United States, is considered wonderful by some Republicans. It suggests that despite Trump's failure to win the popular vote and his divisive policies, there is a segment of the Republican party that values his candidacy for its entertainment value and ideological alignment. The article criticizes the Republican Party's disregard for broad voter appeal, Trump's avoidance of military service, and his approach to issues like global warming, the border crisis, and international relations. It also touches on the comparison between Trump and other political figures, including President Joseph R. Biden Junior and Russian President Vladimir Putin, implying that Trump's perceived flaws are overshadowed by those of his counterparts. The piece concludes by acknowledging the ironic admiration for Trump while expressing a preference for him to remain off-screen.

Opinions

The article insinuates that most voters do not appreciate the reasons for Trump's perceived wonderfulness.
Republicans are portrayed as prioritizing their preferred candidate over electability and public opinion.
Trump's inaction on the border crisis and his rhetoric around global warming are seen as preferable to addressing these issues.
The article suggests that avoiding military conflict and being a draft dodger are positive traits in a president, depending on their political affiliation.
It is implied that competence in a president is less important than their ability to entertain.
Electing an incompetent president is viewed as a pathway to dismantling government and achieving a libertarian utopia.
The piece mocks the idea that Trump's occasional humor outweighs his inappropriate behavior and speech.
The article sarcastically claims belief in Trump's billionaire status and compares him favorably to Vladimir Putin.
It suggests that offending other countries with a hated president is inconsequential since they already dislike America.
The article facetiously states that God's commandments are not to be taken seriously, as evidenced by support for Trump.
It criticizes the hypocrisy of promoting Christianity while supporting a president with questionable moral conduct.
The piece condemns the notion of showing sympathy for accused rapists by electing them to high office.
It argues that a president constantly involved in legal battles is less harmful than one who starts wars.

Reasons Trump is Wonderful

There are many reasons why probable Republican presidential nominee and failed President Donald J. Trump Senior (R-Florida) is wonderful.

Unfortunately, most voters do not appreciate any of those reasons. Yet Republicans do not care if most voters want their candidate. Instead, they just want the guy they like. Even if he cannot get elected Dog Catcher.

To promote this insanity and ensure the reelection of the one person less popular than Trump, President Joseph R. Biden Junior (D-Delaware). We shall list reasons why Trump is wonderful.

Reasons why Trump is Wonderful include:

We don’t need a president who believes in actual problems such as Global Warming.

A president who does not deal with the border crisis while talking about building a wall is better than a president who does not believe there is a crisis at the border.

A president who talks about starting wars but does nothing but Tweet is better than a president who enters every war he can find.

We need a president who was smart enough to dodge the Vietnam War draft.

A Republican draft dodger is better than a Democratic draft dodger.

Competence is optional when the candidate is entertaining.

The best way to destroy government and create the libertarian utopia is to elect a total nincompoop president.

A senile and crazy old man who occasionally tells funny jokes is better than a boob who talks like your grandfather.

We believe he is a billionaire. We really do.

As bad as Trump is. He is a nice guy and a genius when you compare him to Russian President Vladimir Putin (R-Saint Petersburg).

Since all the people in other countries already hate America. We might as well offend them with a president they will hate.

God was kidding when he told Moses that “Thou Shall Not Lie, Thou Shall Not Kill, and Thou Shall Not Steal, stuff.

We can promote Christianity by electing a president who desperately needs our prayers.

We need to show sympathy with troubled young men by putting a president accused of rape in the White House.

A president who spends all of his time in court will do far less damage to the country than a senile old man who sits around in the Oval Office and starts wars.

So yes there are many reasons why Trump is wonderful. Unfortunately, we want Trump anywhere but on our TV screens.