Reasons America does not need a Central Bank Digital Currency (CBDC)

A number of American politicians have decided that a basic piece of financial technology, Central Bank Digital Currencies (CBDCs), is evil.

A CBDC is just a cryptocurrency a central bank such as the Federal Reserve issues. Yet, presidential candidates Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (D-California) and Governor Ron DeSantis (R-Florida) have decided CBDCs are evil and a threat to your future.

Thus, these geniuses think it is wrong for the Federal Reserve to issue currency. Hence, they are adopting the advanced political ideas of President Andrew Jackson (D-Tennessee). We wonder if they will soon adopt Jackson’s other policies such as slavery, white supremacy, amateur government, extermination of Native Americans, systematic corruption, and the gold standard.

Conversely, the People’s Bank of China (PBOC) is adopting a CBDC, the Digital Yuan. Thus, China is now ahead of the United States in another area of technology. Yet, DeSantis and Kennedy don’t want the US to try and catch up. We wonder how much the Chinese Communist Party is paying them.

To please our Chinese paymasters and help Kennedy and DeSantis destroy America. We shall list reasons Americans does not need a CBDC.

Reasons America Does not Need a CBDC include:

1. Paper money and coins were good enough for grandfather so they’re good enough for us. We wonder if RFK Jr. and DeSantis do all their writing on typewriters like grandfather did.
2. The government can track CBDC transactions. Note: the government can also track credit card transactions. Yet we don’t hear RFK and DeSantis talking about getting rid of credit cards.
3. Private cryptocurrencies are good enough. Yes, we trust Sam Bankman-Fried with our financial system.
4. CBDCs are evil because they are not in the Bible. Note: the Bible doesn’t mention paper money and checking accounts either. Yet Kennedy and DeSantis do not oppose them.
5. His Holiness the Pope has not blessed CBDCs yet. We asked Pope Francis about this and he said he “will pray for those poor men.”
6. Baby Boomers just figured out how to use their smartphones. We can’t force them to figure out how to use another new technology.
7. We were promised flying cars not digital currencies.
8. CBDCs are an evil Chinese conspiracy against America.
9. CBDCs are unfair competition to private cryptocurrencies. We cannot allow the government to compete with responsible and ethical entrepreneurs such as Sam Bankman-Fried.
10. You can trust Sam Bankman-Fried and his friends to manage your money.
11. Gold is the only real money. Everything else is worthless. Just don’t take gold down to the supermarket and try to buy food with it.
12. Bitcoin (BTC) is the best currency around. Just don’t try to buy groceries with Bitcoin.
13. Who cares if the Chinese get control of the world’s financial system. We know we always trust our friends in Beijing, as long as they sign our paychecks.
14. Bankman-Fried and the other crypto billionaires make lots of big campaign donations. So we don’t want them to have any competition.
15. We don’t understand what CBDCs are or how they work. Therefore we have to ban them.
16. If we ban CBDCs and other new technologies the 21st century will just go away and we won’t have to live in it.

So yes there are lots of great reasons for America not to adopt a CBDC. We asked the PR Department at the People’s Bank of China (PBOC) about this. They said a US CBDC was a terrible idea. Then they tried to get us to invest in Digital Yuan futures.