Realistic Hallmark Christmas Movies (not) Coming to a Television Near You

I was going to write about real estate, but I watched several Hallmark Christmas movies over the weekend and found myself in the reluctant holiday spirit. Unfortunately, even after a hefty dose of cinnamon sugar, I am still me, and I can’t help but look at things the way they are. So, instead of my thoughts on home buying and financing (to come), here are my realistic Hallmark movie plots.

(As an aside: do any of you remember when Hallmark movies were good? For those of you too young to remember the 1960s and 1970s, there was a time when Hallmark movies were broadcast on one of the three major networks, and they were pretty good, and we all looked forward to them.)

An Olde Fashioned Tennessee Christmas: Alan, a wounded Army veteran, and Kirsten bought their dream home in a quiet neighborhood in a town nicknamed “the city of hospitality.” They thought this town was ideal for raising the large family they hoped to start. They moved in, had children, and all was well with our happy, growing family.

However, times changed (back). Pastors at the local churches now support politicians even though that’s against the laws protecting churches from tax liability. They spoke from the pulpit about monetary gain as proof of God’s love, but not to worry because everyone at church and everyone they knew and loved would win because they were white and superior to all other races. Racism had gone far in Alan and Kirsten’s once hopeful neighborhood, so much so that the politicians and pastors incited neighbors to support anti-miscegenation laws deemed illegal by the Supreme Court in 1967.

That’s when things got dicey for Alan and Kirsten because Alan was Black and Kirsten was white.

After repeated incidents involving neighbors hanging around taking pictures, flying drones, vandalism, break-ins, and dog poisonings, they purchased a home security system that showed people intentionally targeting their home. They bought six home security systems because neighbors tampered with them.

Last Christmas season, sometime between the tree decorating and chestnut roasting, some of their lovely Christian neighbors spray-painted racial slurs on their property and burned down their home. ̶O̶f̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶r̶s̶e̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶i̶g̶h̶b̶o̶r̶s̶ ̶r̶a̶l̶l̶i̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶l̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶r̶e̶b̶u̶i̶l̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶s̶u̶r̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶p̶a̶n̶y̶ ̶r̶e̶p̶r̶e̶s̶e̶n̶t̶a̶t̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶w̶e̶d̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶m̶a̶s̶ ̶E̶v̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶a̶r̶g̶e̶ ̶c̶h̶e̶c̶k̶.̶ ̶E̶n̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶r̶y̶.̶

Er… nope.

After the fire, none of his neighbors offered his family any help — or even extended condolences, he told CNN.

The Tennessee Farm Bureau insurance they had purchased denied their claim insisting that Alan and Kirsten set the fire themselves based on a few minor and completely unrelated lawsuits.

The cops did nothing too.

Tennessee law prohibits an incident being called a hate crime until authorities have identified a suspect, which law enforcement has yet to do. As a result, the case is currently pending as a “suspicious fire.”

Yup, click on the links; this Christmas story is basically true. It happened in November 2021, and not Christmas, but close.

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A Heart in Chattanooga: I am not intentionally picking on Tennessee, but….

In Mid-November, authorities condemned a motel in Chattanooga, claiming it was a haven for fugitives and sex offenders. Maybe, but it was also a haven for hundreds of unhomed people with nowhere else to go. Although the District Attorney had decided to seek eviction weeks before, they evicted mothers with children, some barefoot and without winter coats, without notice and after the motel collected prepaid rent.

̶I̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶p̶i̶r̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶m̶a̶s̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶m̶u̶n̶i̶t̶y̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶g̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶v̶i̶d̶e̶d̶ ̶l̶o̶d̶g̶i̶n̶g̶,̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶d̶,̶ ̶g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶f̶a̶r̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶o̶l̶l̶e̶c̶t̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶m̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶s̶e̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶r̶e̶n̶.̶

Er…nope.

Two 14-year-old sisters lost their mom to a heart attack. About half of the evicted people lost their jobs due to the eviction, and others suffered reduced hours. Bosses weren’t in that Hallmark Christmas spirit yet. Motel residents were not allowed to retrieve their belongings initially, but they were later informed they had until December 22 to claim their stuff. If they don’t act by then, everything they own will be transferred to a storage facility. Now, that may seem reasonable to most readers because authorities are not threatening to throw everything out, but think about it. If you have no place to put yourself or your kids and you already prepaid your rent but were evicted and sent scrambling to find new housing, which might be a shelter or under an overpass, where are you going to put your stuff, and how are you going to pay for storage?

A Hollywood ending?

Eventually, the Hamilton County Commission voted $50,000 to rehouse the evicted families. When the Christmas cookies arrived at the city, they contributed $100,000. Where are they going? The money will be used to pay for around 100 hotel rooms for 270 displaced people (up to 800 people were evicted). Some of the residents filed a lawsuit. The Chattanooga Homeless Coalition estimates that the eviction will eventually cost the community about $400,000. They are asking for donations at www.homelsesscoalition.org.

Last I heard, about 300 evicted people are still without shelter.

Here’s a video featuring some of the evicted made by HearUs. I don’t think they’re showing this on Hallmark this Christmas.

No one has mentioned why authorities didn’t remove the drug and sex offenders instead of unhoming hundreds of innocent working people and their children.

Here’s the defense spending budget for 2023. HO HO HO.