avatarMichael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) 😬

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Abstract

f I’m still working out with my 17 therapists, ayahuasca, high-ya-wacky, and lots of purple Kool-Aid, oh and the Special K.</p><p id="bf2b">No disrespect, but here are the <a href="https://poets.org/glossary/haiku">Haiku rules</a>.</p><ul><li>a three-line poem with 17 syllables</li><li>a 5/7/5 syllable count</li><li>focuses on nature images</li><li>emphasizes simplicity, intensity, and directness of expression.</li><li>centers on a brief moment in time</li><li>use of provocative, colorful images</li><li>an ability to be read in one breath</li><li>a sense of sudden enlightenment</li></ul><p id="f533">Like I said, no disrespect, but that’s all too much for me, especially in today’s world. Nature and enlightenment aren’t really in my wheelhouse.</p><p id="f1e3" type="7">Instead, here’s

Options

my IRL version of Haiku.</p><p id="d5cd">I’ll keep it to several examples so as not to overly inflame your passions or cause you to turn green with envy at my skill.</p><h2 id="3d50">Insensitive Nitwit</h2><p id="a3d2" type="7">Ted Cruz is a dolt With a one-door policy knock knock you moron</p><h2 id="635f">Movie</h2><p id="cd0f" type="7">Kick my seat back, hard I don my ten gallon hat Drown in my farts too</p><h2 id="7a2b">Driving Fun</h2><p id="8b7a" type="7">Tailgate you mofo There’s another lane, asshat Windshield fluid sprayer on</p><h2 id="7b6b">Pox News Network “Fairly Unbalanced”</h2><p id="244f" type="7">Monkey Pox is next Refuse that vaccination! Like pustules much?</p><p id="a7e5">Have I done more than simply 5–7–5?</p><p id="3f5a">That’s your call.</p></article></body>

GO HAIKU YOURSELF :-)

Real Life Haiku

I can’t be bothered to follow Haiku rules, except the 5–7–5 thing

My mind these days … on a good day. Especially while writing. * * * Photo by Pavel Pjatakov on Unsplash

I can’t follow Haiku rules.

Perhaps it’s because I’m a simpleton.

Or maybe because I can’t be bothered.

Or maybe it’s both, plus/minus some other stuff I’m still working out with my 17 therapists, ayahuasca, high-ya-wacky, and lots of purple Kool-Aid, oh and the Special K.

No disrespect, but here are the Haiku rules.

  • a three-line poem with 17 syllables
  • a 5/7/5 syllable count
  • focuses on nature images
  • emphasizes simplicity, intensity, and directness of expression.
  • centers on a brief moment in time
  • use of provocative, colorful images
  • an ability to be read in one breath
  • a sense of sudden enlightenment

Like I said, no disrespect, but that’s all too much for me, especially in today’s world. Nature and enlightenment aren’t really in my wheelhouse.

Instead, here’s my IRL version of Haiku.

I’ll keep it to several examples so as not to overly inflame your passions or cause you to turn green with envy at my skill.

Insensitive Nitwit

Ted Cruz is a dolt With a one-door policy knock knock you moron

Movie

Kick my seat back, hard I don my ten gallon hat Drown in my farts too

Driving Fun

Tailgate you mofo There’s another lane, asshat Windshield fluid sprayer on

Pox News Network “Fairly Unbalanced”

Monkey Pox is next Refuse that vaccination! Like pustules much?

Have I done more than simply 5–7–5?

That’s your call.

Haiku
Poetry
Humor
Satire
Bullshit
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