Real Confessions of a Former Online Psychic
And why she stopped doing readings to embrace religion instead
Meghan (not her real name) agreed to talk to me on the condition of anonymity. A popular psychic who used to do chat and email readings, Meghan gave up her work several years ago to embrace religion and find, according to her, peace and some semblance of wholeness in her own life.
In this part confessional/part interview, Meghan lays threadbare what it was like to work as a psychic, insider information on the psychic business, and the reasons why she chose to leave the new age world in its entirety behind.
Talk us through the inner workings of a psychic. How are or were you different?
There’s no formulaic convention of how psychics work. It’s different for different people I guess. I wasn’t psychic to start with, I don’t think. Just intuitive. I had a very difficult childhood which meant that from an early age I think I was looking for escapism and anything that would make me feel good.
I started off getting involved with new age style healing sessions and eventually became an expert myself. I had childhood anxiety wiped out in a single session that made me a believer then. I then branched off to doing psychic readings because after all that learning, I had by then developed my intuition to a high degree.
For me it started off as images moving across the screen like a movie. Then it gradually progressed to being able to hear and sense things in the body. Like for instance, I would hear a whisper that told me things and I could feel the fear, stress, or anxiety of the person in my body.
Where do these images, voices, and sensations come from?
At the time, I would say that these were being shown by Spirit. Spirit in the sense a higher power. I would refer to them as enlightened beings. Loving spirits that showed the truth and directed you to a higher path.
I think it’s also about tuning into the aura or energy field of the person you’r’e reading for and getting connected to them, so that you feel everything they do. Now of course I can’t be sure.
Can you switch it on and off at will?
I’d say to some extent you can. Often before a reading, I’d do a meditation to get into a calm clear space. After a reading, I would close down by mentally and emotionally disconnecting from my clients and using incense to clear the energy so to speak.
If you’re doing it regularly it can seep into your daily life. I was already struggling with childhood depression and this just seemed to make things worse. I was constantly in a state of emotional upheaval or thrust into the middle of a life crisis.
What kinds of questions do you get?
The questions are similar and predictable. Most questions are just variations of each other. It’s mostly always about love, career, or money.
For love, people wanted to know whether their ex had moved on, when they’ll meet their soulmate, soulmate description, how to know if he’s the one, whether he’s happy in his new relationship, when they’ll have sex or if they’ll have sex. [ laughs ]
Then career wise, it was about about when they’d get a new job, whether they should change jobs, whether they’d get the interview or pass it, etc, etc.
There was a predictable familiarity in the energy behind the questions. I feel like fundamentally people want to feel important, loved, and needed. Every question you get is a variation of that theme or winds back to it.
When someone’s asking whether their ex has moved on, it’s not about the ex per se. I mean it is to some extent. But it’s more about why did this happen, why did he leave, am I not good enough, will I ever find love again and so on. There’s all these layers which is why I said it’s about the basics.
What did you like about doing psychic readings?
I loved giving genuine life advice to people. Talking them through their challenges and what they needed to develop to get to a better place. That bit was very fulfilling.
I don’t think a lot of people know how many roles you really play. You’re part life coach, part counseller, part big sister, part wing man. You’re their biggest cheer leader and a person they can go to when they need help…
As a matter of principle, I wouldn’t do spells or anything which involved trying to spiritually force someone down a specific path.
What turned you off about psychic readings?
The expectation that we could telepathically read intents or predict the future with 100% accuracy. We don't always get it right and to be honest it was one of the things that I never really liked.
The other thing and this is what made my the most was how dependent people were on psychics. It’s a feeling that many psychics leverage to their benefit and monetary gain.
If I thought my clients were getting too dependent on me, I would gently nudge them in the direction of being more independent and living their lives.
I remember a story from another reader about a girl who wanted to know when her boyfriend was coming back. She was in love with him you see and was desperate to have him back. She was told that he would be back in a month or do and this went on.
At the end of one year she was still dialling hotlines wanting to know when he was coming back. It’s a waste of a life. That unsettled me a great deal.
But then again not to throw shade, I have to acknowledge my many psychic friends who are genuine in their intentions and have no interest whatsoever in scamming people. The genuinely believe they have a place in the world and its part of their work. No judgement.
It’s a delicate balance between making an income out of something that you’re good at and being human.
There’s a sense that if the psychic is legitimate they should be completely accurate?
We’re human and I think that humans have limitations. Keeping psychic readers aside, do you get it perfect every single time with every decision you make? Even doctors make mistakes.
I would say that I may have been given the right information but it’s possible I could have misinterpreted it.
What made you choose religion? Talk us through how to got to that place in your life.
I think that fundamentally, it was about the fact that nothing was changing. I was stuck in a dead-end job, woefully unhappy, had no fulfilling relationships to speak off, and couldn’t see the light ahead at the end of the tunnel. My emotional life was a rollercoaster.
Every healing and reading was about discovering your wounds and healing it. But when do these wounds ever get healed and isn’t there a full stop?
It’s a rabbit hole. When somebody tells you the reason you’re not able to find a fulfilling relationship is because of so and so and the only way out is to heal but that healing is always just one step ahead of you, you start to wonder.
You keep going to healers and psychics hoping that this next one is the miracle worker. You reach a point when you realise this isn’t going anywhere.
Its one of those things I think no body talks about. If you’re psychic, how come your life is still a mess? It’s always a work-in-progress. But when does it actually get better?
I was from a Christian family, a broken one. There wasn’t much of teaching or having it be a part of our daily life. So I didn’t have role models or anykind of structure I could mould my life into. I gravitated between both worlds until I decided one fine day, I was going to do this, that time was now.
I remember kneeling and praying and saying, “I don’t think I gave you [Jesus] a fair chance. “ I was determined to commit myself fully to Him. I wanted to know how He was different.
As it turned out that was the best thing I could have done. But I was also all in. For instance there was the daily bible reading, the conscious effort to disavow everything cultish, and a weekly fasting session. These things helped me a great deal.
I started taking medication for my depression, and started finding a sense of peace within myself. I also had principles to live up to. It made me feel motivated. I felt like I’m now worth a lot and I have purpose. My birth was not an accident.
I love God. He’s really made a difference in my life. Years later I continue to keep up [smiles]. It’s not without challenges, but I feel like I have someone solid by my side someone I can always rely on. Someone who’s real and keeps it real.
And yes, my life has gone through a restructuring. There’s more balance, more discipline, I’ve been able to upgrade to better things. Thank you God.
The thing is you shouldn’t seek out God to get things. You seek Him out because you value Him before everything else. That’s the perspective shift. And God has promised good things to those who love Him and follow Him. I’m a living testament to this.
Isn’t it possible to be both a psychic and a religious person. Can you find a comfortable middle?
No, and I think that’s right when you think what each entails. They couldn’t be more different from each other.
God doesn’t like a lukewarm Christian. You can’t be half here and half there. I quite like that. You have things to live up to. You can’t just be whatever you want. Contrast this with a lot of people in our generation. The ‘do whatever you want and feel good about it’ culture isn’t all its cooked up to be.
During my transition phase I was greatly influenced by the videos of a lady called Doreen Virtue*. Doreen used to write new age books, produced divination tools like oracle cards, and was followed by many ardent believers. She had a large number of followers at one point. She now preaches the Good News.
People are starting to realise that there’s a tradeoff with acquiring occult knowledge. Everything looks great on the outside. But as you get deeper and deeper and start to get more and more involved, things start to change. People who are self-aware know when to pull themselves out. But for others it would eventually be too late.
The energy starts to feed itself — you want to learn more, be more, have more. You get sucked in and then if you’re not too careful, you struggle to get out.
It’s a bit like Dorian Gray**. Stairway to hell.
What’s that transition been like.
I think that practically its important to remove yourself from situations that triggered your dependence on what’s unhealthy for you. So I moved, found a more fulfilling job with decent hours, worked on my mental health, and aimed to build a relationship with God.
Do you miss being a psychic?
Never.
The truth is — none of us has it figured out and nobody has all the answers. I’m pretty happy where I am right now. Like I said I have a peace which I never felt before.
And it was never about being famous or about the money. I mean, for a while it was about the money when I had to make ends. But I’m past that now. I just wanted to sleep better at night.
You know, Jesus did say that he gives you peace, and it’s not the kind of peace the world gives you. It’s a different kind of peace. Quiet and all-encompassing.
That was another time, another life. I’m content and hopeful where I am now.
I’m in a much better space.
~ END ~
© Irene Lopez 2022. All Rights Reserved.
References:
*[Book] The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
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