Reading Headlines On Medium
Endless joy in simply scrolling
Have you ever scrolled down the homepage of Medium reading headlines of articles without ever clicking on the articles? You’re simply headline reading. It can be quite entertaining on occasion. Who needs to read actual stories or articles when there is so much fun in the headlines? And the headlines can be so revealing of the prevailing Medium zeitgeist. There is a lot to learn.
I was doing that recently and I decided to write down some of the headlines that caught my attention. Perhaps you’ve seen some of these:
How I Made $87K in My First Two Weeks of Writing On Medium And how you can, too!
How To Become a Billionaire By Waking Up an Hour Earlier Each Morning Use this proven secret and give Bezos a run for his money
Program With UGXZ On LVCR Using RWWF With LWVP On SDJ Click on this article to find out what those abbreviations mean
How To Write Self-Help Articles Even If You Don’t Know a Damn Thing It’s easier than you think
How To Stop Men From Ruining Everything The necessary tools to put them in their place
Learn To Write Compelling Articles About Anal Sex on Medium And watch your profits grow
Explode Your Wealth By Writing 50–100 Haikus a Day on Medium It’s easier and shorter than Tweeting
Got Writer’s Block? Write About It That’s how everyone else makes money
How I Dated 2,000 Men in One Month My online dating secrets
How To Squeeze More Thinking Into Your Brain And keep from ever accidentally not thinking
How I Made My First Million Writing On Medium And what you can learn from my resounding success
How Crypto-currency Solves All the World’s Problems Plus makes you rich!
Find Nirvana Through Computer Programming It’s the new language of the gods.
Wealth and Success As a Medium Star Influencer Hint: write what’s popular and stay away from fiction
Has anyone clicked on any of these recent articles? Or does the title say everything you need to know? Do you have a favorite article title that really turned you on — or made your eyes roll? Where do you go for title enjoyment? The Medium homepage or your network feed?
Four of the subjects reflected most often by titles on Medium seem to be computer tech, how to make money on Medium, sex, and gender conflict. Which is your favorite of those four? Which would you like to never see again? And what subject would you like to see more titles about? What was your very favorite title that you’ve ever read on Medium?
Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction.
Speaking of silliness and gender conflict…