avatarJennifer McDougall

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possibilities of being with someone who can’t be seen! Office quickies and subway downtime take on a whole new meaning. Also, she can immobilize enemies, such as your partner walking in on the two of you. Boasting her own labia makes it likely she has<i> some</i> idea of what to do down there in Bajingo-ville. She can always consult with second-place winner, who happens to be her husband. Threesome, anyone?</p><h1 id="dd62">Supervillains</h1><h2 id="a7c4">FIRST PLACE Mortimer Toynbee (Toad)</h2><p id="a79a">This hunchbacked freak can leap…right into your pants, Ladies. Sure he looks a little too much like a Munckinlander obsessed with Beatles haircuts. But Toad’s got tongue.</p><h2 id="fb67">TIED FOR SECOND PLACE Doomsday and Juggernaut</h2><p id="319e">Both of these Supervillains are well-known for their ability to go from dusk until dawn and then again until dusk. We vulva owners all appreciate a little stamina, now don’t we? The impossibility of choosing a winner between these two has resulted in a tie.</p><p id="220f">Okay, Doomsday may be the demonic slayer of — spoiler — Superman, but hear me out. His eco-friendly nature is solar-powered and he doesn’t need to be wined and dined before he starts munchin’ on the ole carpet. Those spikes, however, may leave you in intensive care. And his c

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hoppers? Yikes.</p><p id="43e2">Juggernaut, on the other lip, has no spikes but wears a shako that makes him look a tad bit like Asterix on ‘roids. If you’re into that, then booyah for you. Personally, it means his lips are a little farther from yours. What may entice you is that he can heal very quickly. You don’t need to shave before sloppy toppy time. That pash rash won’t last.</p><p id="c90d">Congratulations to all of this year’s fab winners. And to all who imagined themselves cunning enough to take home the chewin’ for chotch prize — we truly appreciate your audition!</p><p id="ff84"><i>© Jennifer J. McDougall 2021</i></p><p id="49e5"><b>In response to <a href="undefined">Jeff Ehren</a>’s Challenge</b></p><div id="fae7" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/heroes-and-villains-challenge-4b2d7575a08a"> <div> <div> <h2>Heroes and Villains Challenge</h2> <div><h3>Who is your choice for cunnilingus?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*KvsQwhAuzfDKjKaCNbsWqw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Ranking The Top 3 Superhero Crunchamunchers

Even Supervillians can be inscribed on the Tuna Taco Trophy

Photo by King Lip on Unsplash

Which Superheroes and Supervillains are the best darn cheese gobblers? Check out the winners of this year’s much-coveted Tuna Taco Trophy.

Superheroes

FIRST PLACE Jean Grey

She’s telepathic. Enough said.

SECOND PLACE Mister Fantastic

Reed Richards is drool-worthy in a 1950s misogynistic boss kinda way. His secret to placing second in bush divin’ boils down to his “ability to stretch his body into any shape he desires”. Think of all the money you no longer have to shell out for sex shop specials.

THIRD PLACE Invisible Woman

Think of the possibilities of being with someone who can’t be seen! Office quickies and subway downtime take on a whole new meaning. Also, she can immobilize enemies, such as your partner walking in on the two of you. Boasting her own labia makes it likely she has some idea of what to do down there in Bajingo-ville. She can always consult with second-place winner, who happens to be her husband. Threesome, anyone?

Supervillains

FIRST PLACE Mortimer Toynbee (Toad)

This hunchbacked freak can leap…right into your pants, Ladies. Sure he looks a little too much like a Munckinlander obsessed with Beatles haircuts. But Toad’s got tongue.

TIED FOR SECOND PLACE Doomsday and Juggernaut

Both of these Supervillains are well-known for their ability to go from dusk until dawn and then again until dusk. We vulva owners all appreciate a little stamina, now don’t we? The impossibility of choosing a winner between these two has resulted in a tie.

Okay, Doomsday may be the demonic slayer of — spoiler — Superman, but hear me out. His eco-friendly nature is solar-powered and he doesn’t need to be wined and dined before he starts munchin’ on the ole carpet. Those spikes, however, may leave you in intensive care. And his choppers? Yikes.

Juggernaut, on the other lip, has no spikes but wears a shako that makes him look a tad bit like Asterix on ‘roids. If you’re into that, then booyah for you. Personally, it means his lips are a little farther from yours. What may entice you is that he can heal very quickly. You don’t need to shave before sloppy toppy time. That pash rash won’t last.

Congratulations to all of this year’s fab winners. And to all who imagined themselves cunning enough to take home the chewin’ for chotch prize — we truly appreciate your audition!

© Jennifer J. McDougall 2021

In response to Jeff Ehren’s Challenge

Sex
Satire
Superheroes
Humor
Humour
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