Random Ramblings
Random Ramblings 1
An Introduction // On Fear
If you know me, you know that my mind is constantly racing and there’s usually around a million things in my head that I want to convey but can’t. Well, not until I write about it anyway.
Whenever. Wherever. Whatever.
The words that form the basis of this series. It will be an off-the-cuff record of my thoughts and emotions, written out for the world to see. It will not be edited, nor densely packed with vocabulary that only a professor with a degree in literary studies would understand. It is a place for me to express my vulnerability, to put myself out there so to better connect with my community which I am trying to help build.
So that’s the deal folks. And without further ado, here’s my first one:
On Fear
I am afraid. I am constantly afraid. Not of others, but of myself. Of my inadequacies as a human being. Will I be a failure? Will I have nothing to show for upon my death?
These are two questions that have been plaguing me recently and it doesn’t help that there’s a damn pandemic happening right now doesn’t it. But, I know one thing. One thing that is slowly turning into hope. And as cliché as it sounds, it involves the start of this blog and the freedoms associated with it.
The ability to write was not something gifted to me. It was something which came after being trapped in my own head and as I grew up, I guess that I’m finally able to at least somewhat able to articulate this. At least, I hope so. And with this blog, comes the freedom to share these thoughts, to a community who are extremely supportive of one another. Well, that’s my experience so far with Medium anyways.
Is this like therapy to me? probably? Who knows at this point? At least it can keep up with my thoughts more effectively than a journal can. I tried journaling, but I ended up just sitting in my own thoughts too long, filtering what to write down, and what not to. And that ain’t the right way for me to use a journal.
At least, now with the creation of this blog, I’m working through my fear of writing. That within itself can be another topic, and we’ll get to that some other day…
But for now, that’s my ramble done.
Hope you enjoyed this post!
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