Rainy Day Activities You May Not Have Thought of
my daily slog
I should know this list well since in the Pacific Northwest, the only temperate rainforest in the northern hemisphere, we have 1 trillion zillion billion individual raindrops falling out of the sky each year. There is a joke about us natives developing webbed feet.
1. Snorkeling: the act of walking in the Pacific NW in the winter months
2. Skydiving horizontally or otherwise known as going for a drive in the car (we have to make up our own fun since the monotony is endless)
3. Protesting: as in composing nasty notes to congressmen regarding the lack of abortion pills in the drug stores
4. Drinking: consuming hot beverages of any kind with complete disregard for what’s socially appropriate. (There’s a reason why we are the coffee capital of the U.S.)
5. Dreaming: taking flights of imagination to any place that has a warmer climate, including watching TV shows or reading novels of the same
6. Deciding to travel somewhere warm next winter and meticulously planning the trip, only to forget it all when spring comes, never bothering to budget for it, and once again, next winter discovering that I am in the same predicament
7. Complaining: What, rain — again? What are they, ducks? (get the reference to “It’s a Wonderful Life” here?)
8. Online shopping: There must be something I need or at least, I think I need, that will give me an excuse to pass these cold dreary hours with some amusement
9. Augmented Reality: A virtual escape to the tropical island of your choice is becoming a popular pastime
10. Decorating my umbrella. Yes, I decorate it, but I don’t use it. It’s an artifact. Pacific Northwesterners would never be caught dead using an umbrella. It’s a sure sign of a tourist if you spy someone holding an umbrella.
Umbrellas are just not part of the culture. If you haven’t gotten used to the rain, you might as well “brave it and get it over with” is the correct attitude. Also, any native knows the first gust of wind that comes along, the umbrella is toast anyway.
Yes, we are home to the world-famous Bumbershoot Music and Arts Festival, which means “umbrella-fest” in Pacific Northwest-ese. Don’t let it fool you. There are no umbrellas there, it’s only a figure of speech and a marketing ploy to bilk tourists out of money.
By the way, it will be held Sept 2–3 in Seattle this year. Where else will you find Burleskaroake, Augmented Reality, Witches, Extreme Pogo Stick, Drag, Pole-Dancing, and Lap Dancing lessons. Don’t miss it!
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