Quitting Smoking

Breaking the addictive cycle helped me become a better person

I smoked 1–2 packs per day for 31 years, from the time I was 15 until I was 46. I tried to quit many times. A couple of times I quite for a year or two, but sooner or later something would happen to rock my boat and I’d light up again.

I started smoking because my friends smoked. My closest friend Willis was a year older than I was. When he started smoking, it didn’t take long for me to start. My friends were cool and I wanted to be cool, too.

In junior high they would go to a small grocery store, buy a Pepsi and some chips or candy, and walk down the railroad tracks smoking and drinking their Pepsi. I sometimes joined them.

The summer after 7th grade I worked in the hayfields with Willis and his brothers. Willis and I would ride on top of the load of hay. We’d smoke and listen to our new pocket-sized transistor radio.

On Friday nights we’d go to the picture show, sit in the balcony (where smoking was allowed) and smoke. They even had a cigarette machine in the lobby. We kids would sneak over while the lobby was crowded and quickly buy a pack of cigarettes. I remember smoking most of a pack one night. Man, did I ever have a cigarette hangover the next day.

My parents both smoked, as did most of their friends, so I grew up in a smoke-filled house. My mother smoked before my birth, so I may have had nicotine in my system from the time of gestation.

From my birth in ’45 until we moved into our present house in ’87, I never lived in a smoke-free house. Now, knowing the harmfulness of second-hand smoke, I’m amazed that I’m alive and none of my family has experienced any negative effects.

I remember knew smoking was bad for me. I’d been a half-mile runner in junior high track. I wanted to compete in high school. However, smoking took my breath away. I tried to cut back on smoking, but it didn’t help. I had to choose between running track and smoking. Sadly, I chose smoking.

I quit during my senior year and stayed off smoking, except for the occasional pipe, until my sophomore year in college. Then the pressure of college schoolwork built up and I reached for my old friends to help me sit and study for longer periods.

After a couple of years of college, I dropped out and went into the Air Force. Smoking offered a welcomed break from training. The Drill Instructors would even stop and give us “smoke breaks.” To make smoking even easier, the BX sold cigarettes for about $0.25 per pack back then.

And, to further encourage us, the C-rations we got during field training all had small packs of 4-cigarettes in them. We smokers would trade a desert or something else to non-smokers for their cigarettes.

Back then no one saw the health dangers of smoking

Sure, we called cigarettes “coffin nails” and there were reports of smoking causing cancer and heart disease, but we were young and healthy and invincible. Smoking couldn’t hurt us.

Fast forward 30 years and my lungs were screaming at me to stop. But every time I tried to quit, the cravings would come back so strong after an hour or so, that I couldn’t concentrate or do anything but think about smoking that next cigarette.

Some say nicotine is more addictive than heroin and harder to quit.

I tried nicotine gum, I attended smoking-cessation classes, I made vows to myself and promises to my family. Every New Year’s I resolved to quit, tried, and failed.

Finally, in 1991, after failing once more to quit on my birthday, I went to a Nicotine Anonymous meeting at the local hospital. There I met other smokers trying to quit. We met weekly and encouraged each other in our efforts. We worked the 12 steps. We shared what worked for us and we appealed to our Higher Power for help.

It didn’t happen right away, but after many weeks of trying, I finally succeeded. One thing helped me immensely: I carried a 3x5 card in my shirt pocket with my cigarettes. Every time I thought about smoking I would stop and take out the card. I’d write down the time and the trigger. Then, I’d take a few deep breaths and try to distract myself and prolong the wait. Eventually, I could go for an hour or two without a cigarette.

Finally, like swimming in a cold lake, I just had to plunge in. I threw my cigarettes in a trash can far from home.

Then, for the next few days, I spent my time in libraries and other places where smoking was not allowed. It wasn’t easy. The cravings would seem almost overwhelming. But then they would go away. I learned that if I could stave them off for a few minutes, they’d subside. I’d go for walks and breathe deeply.

Whenever the cravings hit, I’d take 3 deep breaths, holding each one and letting it out slowly. I kept busy with things that didn’t trigger the desire to smoke. I felt really antsy. I couldn’t write or sit still for long.

One day while waiting for the library to open, I got a craving that would not go away. I got out of my car and walked two blocks in the rain to a drug store that I thought sold cigarettes. Turns out they didn’t. That saved me. I was angry that they didn’t sell cigarettes; then, I was angry at myself for almost yielding. But. . .

I never smoked again after that

I don’t know if my experience will help you, but if it does, I’m grateful. What I do know is that

Persistence Pays

If you hang in there and never give up and keep trying, you will eventually succeed. I think it is the same in life.

It has been almost 30 years since I smoked my last cigarette. I’m at the point now that I can’t stand the smell of cigarette smoke. If someone lights up around me, I move away or ask them not to smoke.

Being an ex-smoker has made me a more patient person. I understand what other addicts are dealing with. However, if I can say or do something that will cause the addict to think about quitting, I will.

My mother died of emphysema. It was not pretty. For many years she drug an oxygen line around her apartment and had to carry a tank when she went out. At the end, she couldn’t breathe. If you’ve ever been in a situation where you couldn’t catch your breath, you know how frightening that can be. I don’t want anyone to experience that. It made me ever-so-glad that I quit when I did.

Quitting smoking is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Even after all these years, I look back on that accomplishment with a combination of humility and pride. Humility because I know that I did not do it alone. I had lots of help, including the help of my Higher Power. But also, I feel pride for having persevered and done the work needed to succeed.

Today, I’m incredibly grateful to be a non-smoker.

I know that if I had not quit when I did, I would not be here today. I got a second chance. I feel blessed.

If you smoke or vape, please consider quitting. Do it today! You’ll never regret it. If you know someone who smokes, send them a link to this article. If you do, blessings on you. I pray that it will help them become smoke-free.