Quitting My Teaching Job Won't Solve All of My Problems, but It Will Feel So Good
Like a blobfish out of water.
As the cliché goes, it feels like it was only yesterday when I became a teacher when, in reality, I have devoted myself to this job for almost 20 years—two whole decades.
I know I sucked at it during the early years. Sure, I had a lot of knowledge, but I needed to figure out how to share it and how to interact with the young humans sharing the classroom with me.
As years went by, my students trained me in the art of being a teacher. I learned what is really important and how I can make a student feel supported and safe without turning myself into a doormat.
But now, I'm tired…
Of course students are cheating!
Whenever a teacher says they have had enough, most people expect them to go on a furious tirade about how terrible the students have become. After all, young people want to be on their phones 24/7 and keep finding creative ways to cheat.
But, honestly, who could possibly blame them?
Schools have long stopped being places where people went so they could learn. Were they ever really that? Instead, they are businesses where people go to get a seal of approval, a piece of paper that will affect the outcome of many of the endeavors they will have to face.
Of course they are cheating.
And we, the teachers, are penalized whenever we don't manage to obtain those magical statistics that are expected of us, no matter the conditions of the school we work at. So we are forced to give students standardized test after standardized test because nothing measures their abilities like a dozen good old-fashioned standardized tests, right?
Anyways, as I said, I'm tired.
Please, don't sue me!
I have had it with the increased workload while the pay remains the same. Yes, I care about money. Sue me…
Actually, no, don't sue me…I have a teacher's salary, c'mon!
I'm tired of hopping from overcrowded classroom to overcrowded classroom to try and squeeze in as many lessons as possible with no time in my schedule to tend to those students who need more attention.
So, after 20 years, it has finally been enough, and in January of next year, I'll quit. However, this will not be the end of it. Instead, this will be just the beginning…
Like A Swimming Blobfish
Right now, I feel a bit like a blobfish out of water. Never heard of blobfish? Don't worry; here's a video for you.
In summary, as long as they remain deep in the ocean, blobfish look like regular fish. However, whenever they are pulled onto the surface and are no longer under thousands of feet of water, the lack of pressure makes them look like pink jello.
In other words, I fear that without the daily routines and severe stress my teaching job gives me, I'll entirely fall apart. It worries me I will be without a schedule, purpose, and boundaries to contain my mind.
It scares me that once my time belongs to me and me alone, I will have no idea what to do with it. However, this is not reason enough for me to stay in a job that no longer fulfills me.
It's time to panic.
I have been thinking about how to prevent this total collapse of my mind. What can I do to ensure I won't become undone once I'm no longer a teacher?
I guess the first step is to acknowledge there will be a period of adjustment. I plan to take a few days off to let all of the panic run to me freely.
After that, I will have to create new routines aimed at fulfilling my creative goals. I already know there will be plenty of writing and photography and a good dose of shameless self-promotion. Gaby is going to need that sweet cash!
Yes, I'm overthinking and overpreparing over what the future will hold for me, but then again, I wouldn't be me if I didn't.
This is the only life I will ever have, so I ache to own my time and be free to pursue whatever tickles my creative soul. And, although I know that quitting my job won't solve all of my problems — heck, it's going to create a few new ones — the difference is these will feel like the good kind of struggles to have.
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