Quit Letting These People Make You Miserable
We don’t have to feel helpless, because we aren’t
Every day the media bombards us with news of a world gone crazy. Omicron is raging, nurses are quitting, teachers are striking, store shelves are emptying, and prices are skyrocketing.
It’s enough to make a person miserable, but only if you let it. And I’m not going to let it. I’m not burying my head in the sand and pretending we’re not in the middle of a pandemic, but I’m not going to succumb to fear and panic, either.
Maybe we all need a reset button. Here are the things I’m doing to reset, recharge, and reclaim my joy.
Do This, Instead
Yesterday, I turned off the news. Then I turned the car radio to a soft rock station that played a continuous stream of oldies from the sixties and seventies.
Listening to Jim Croce and Fleetwood Mac is a lot more soothing than hearing the latest death numbers from Covid or news of North Korea’s recent missile launch.
By the time I reached the store, my heart was lighter and I’m guessing my blood pressure was lower.
Listen to music that soothes your soul, touches your heart, and tenderizes your emotions.
When I got home, I scrolled through social media and read tweets and posts that were anti-faith, anti-science, anti-America, anti-white, anti-black, and anything else a person can conjure up to be against.
So I picked up the The Great Blue Hills of God and read the true story of how a woman faced with devastating loss found peace and joy again.
If that’s not your cup of tea, you can dive deeper and find inspiration in Viktor Frankl’s courage and hope through the horrors he experienced in Hitler’s concentration camps.
Acqaint yourself with courageous people who have faced adversity and emerged victorious.
But sometimes we take ourselves too seriously, so remember to retain a sense of fun and a sense of humor. I relish a good mystery like The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty or anything humorous by Jenny Lawson.
Humor is a powerful antidote to stress and negativity.
The Importance of Connection
The pandemic, coupled with retirement, has led me to be more isolated than ever. I like alone time, but I need people. This is why I decided to call at least one friend a day.
I’m not an avid phone conversationalist, so it’s tempting to skip the phone calls. But I call anyway, and I’m always glad. Every time I touch base with someone and find out what’s going on in their lives, it takes me a little more outside myself.
Connecting with people is good for the soul.
Sometimes people don’t answer. They don’t respond to your texts or calls or messages. My former co-worker was a good friend, or at least I thought she was. I loved her dearly, but for some reason she decided she didn’t want to talk with me anymore once we left the company. She’s moved on to other things.
But that’s on her, not me. Don’t take it personally when someone doesn’t respond. Move on to someone else, and you’ll eventually run across real friends who are happy to hear from you.
In-person connections are harder during these times. Some of my friends are isolating due to the omicron surge. They like a phone call but they don’t want to see anyone. Others are going about business as usual.
I’m somewhere in between.
I am vaccinated, boosted, and wear masks everywhere, so I’ve decided not to isolate. If the occasional coffee or lunch with friends or small dinner parties is risky, then so be it. Having taken all available precautions, I won’t remain locked down, although I respect the decision of those who do.
My mental health is as important as my physical health, and my mental health requires that I continue to be involved in life.
What We Do is What We Become
Speaking of physical health, what we put into our bodies is as essential to emotional health as what we put into our minds. Eat the foods that help your body thrive, and be sure to go outside. Hike, walk, plant a garden. Take care of your body through exercise and nutritious food.
Sometimes when it’s cold and blustery, I dread walking, but I make myself walk anyway. I’m more energized and less frustrated when I return to the warm coziness of home.
Nature, whether it’s colorful birds fluttering around my feeder or distant rumbles of an approaching storm, takes my focus away from myself. Nature never fails to nourish my spirit.
Volunteering is another way to encourage an outward focus and nourish our spirits.
Volunteering is harder and more challenging these days, due to Covid. Certain volunteer arenas are no longer available. But there are still opportunities. Look around and you will find someone, somewhere, who needs your help.
The steady barrage of bad news makes us feel helpless, but it doesn’t have to. We might not be able to make a big dent in the world, but we can chip away at indifference and negativity.
A smile, a phone call, a meal to a sick or grieving person, can be your little pebble thrown in a pond. The pebble drops to the bottom, unseen, but it creates ripples that spread.
Every one of us can impact somebody’s day for better or worse. Every one of us can create ripples.
How are you treating the grocery store cashier behind her plexiglass shield? Do you see her as a person, working day after day despite risking exposure to Covid? Or are you rude and impatient because you couldn’t find everything you wanted?
The way you treat her might be the way she treats the next person in line. The ripples spread. There are consequences to everything you say and do.
Do you lean on your horn when you’re behind that slow driver who crawls through a green light, or do you relax and realize there’s nowhere you need to be that’s worth risking an altercation with another driver?
Your horn might be the one thing that puts them over the edge. Everybody seems on edge these days, and the world would be a little better if we did everything we could to keep calm, stay courteous, and refuse to let frustration rule our emotions.
A Battle Plan for Life
My sister, who is teaching a weight loss class, encouraged her students to close their eyes and envision what they wanted to look like. Then she encouraged them to embrace the person they are.
“Be happy with who you are and work towards the person you want to be,” she said.
We need to decide who we want to be, then take steps to fill our lives with the positive energy we need to become that person.
Who we are is ultimately determined by the energy we bring into our lives. When we surround ourselves with music, beauty, positive people, good books, nature and healthy living, we nourish that part of our being that fortifies us to deal with the stuff life flings our way.
We aren’t putting our heads in the sand and refusing to face reality. We are refusing to let people and situations make us miserable. We are pushing the reset button, nourishing our inner spirit to strengthen us for the battles that lie ahead.