Questions To Prompt Rounds of Winning Small Talk

When you’ve had your third conversation about the emerging weather front in the kitchen in your office, you could be forgiven for not appreciating the art of small talk. Now, from our kitchen table and far away from that old office, I’m starting to respect the magic of little meaningless conversations.

Now I realise that those weather chats were less about the words spoken and more about the opportunity to interact. Maybe it was never about the sun deficiency in the UK anyway; perhaps it was more about a chance to listen to one another in an otherwise siloed day.

This morning I had a brief chat with the postman who I usually wave at and say thank you, and at that point, I realised I missed my small talk sessions. What about you? Are you in a house full of family? I’m a 2-person, one dog household so I’m not short of small talk; in words or growls but still, I’m starting to miss the mindless chats with strangers and supermarket queues and office kitchens allowed.

What does small talk look like in the lockdown?

Small talk is conversational; it’s not a one-way transaction, so there needs to be a flow of talking, listening and responding. I’m going to discount social media posts because that can feel like you’re talking at your followers, even if this isn’t true.

Here are a few of my options for small talk right now.

Live Small Talk

At a 2metre distance, or through a plastic barrier, there are still opportunities to small talk with people.

In the park on my daily walk, and sometimes a smile is a conversation. You see someone, you smile, they smile back, and you’ve shared a moment.

At the supermarket when you buy your groceries.

When someone delivers something to your home.

And then there are the messenger apps like Whatsapp that feel more conversational, but you know that already.

So onto the big questions,

What makes good small talk at the moment?

I think that positive small talk, with the purpose of cheering someone up or making them feel connected, is the best at the moment. I have daily news feed providing me with virus death rates, and I have access to the WHO website if I want actual virus information. I’ll leave the raw material and the negativity to the experts and focus on what I can provide.

Here are some of my favourite small talk topics or questions.

The key is to open up a conversation where both or all parties will be inspired to contribute.

1. How is-

How is your daughter, house, houseplant, puppy, idea, shower leak, etc.?

2. What’s the first thing you’re going to do when lockdown lifts?

Go to the pub, visit my friend etc. Fantasising about the future isn’t a bad thing when you’re stuck inside.

3. What are you reading/watching?

A book or a film chat is always fab small talk territory. Whether it’s a stranger and you are sharing a little piece of your leisure or a good friend, in which case you’ll probably know what tickles their boat.

4. What are you cooking or planning to cook-

Recipe sharing is a hot topic on one of my Whatsapp groups, and I’ve learned the real secret of a stir-fry noodle dish. No dead animals, please.

5. Yesterday I saw ___________outside or through my window.

It’s springtime now, and the other day I saw a wagtail bird on the park wall. Maybe it’s even a funny noise that you heard.

6. I’ve just started trying this new thing.

Are you trying a new skill or a new app? People love hearing and talking about a new thing.

7. I’ve just started learning-

Maybe this is a fact, or perhaps it’s a new way to cook eggs in a hurry. Maybe it’s a fact about another culture or cuisine?

8. Have you heard about-

Something positive, please. Maybe you heard that in Hamburg zoo animals have escaped and roaming the streets.

9. You know I’ve always been interested in-

Inspire people with what you plan to learn over the next few months and inspire them with your story of taking positive action to scratch a lifetime itch.

10. Something funny happened yesterday-

We’re all craving funny stories at the moment and even the most staunch anti-cutepics person like me is feeling sentimental.

Maybe it’s someone else’s story, but that’s okay. Aim for a laugh or a smile. Yesterday my puppy, Nyx, was bored and broke into my pencil case. Nyx has white front socks, and she got red ink all over her red paws. It made a funny picture and a good one to share.

I hope this has given you some faith in small talk. With so many layers of crap being removed from our lives perhaps, we can look to small talk to bring us closer together again.

Now is a beautiful opportunity for the introverts among us to use this opportunity to discover, or re-discover the joy of small talk.

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