DARE TO SKIM

Questions Before Reading a Book

Which is better — hardcover or paperback or Kindle?

If I read this book, will they make a movie based on it starring Kristen Stewart because I read this book?

Can I brag if Kristen Stewart makes the movie that makes her even more famous only because I read the book on which her movie was based, even though the movie is worse than her worst nightmare?

How many books does an average literate librarian read a day without skimming?

Did Kristen Stewart become famous also because she only drinks skim milk eight times a day and eleven times a night?

Does any literate librarian I know prefer reading on Kindle as opposed to traditional hardcover and paperback books?

Which is better — whole milk or skim milk? And WHY?

What about strong-smelling and robustly flavored RAW milk?

OR plant-based, watery textured and nutty flavored ALMOND milk?

If a book makes the bestseller list, how much will Kristen Stewart and I have contributed to it, even though I have yet to become famous?

Which is better — hardcover or paperback or Kindle? Billboards?

Isn’t Kindle easier to skim than traditional hardcover and paperback books?

Did you know most people read at an average rate of 250 words per minute (wpm)? But Kristen Stewart? 252 wpm. WITHOUT skimming a word. How does she do it? Skim milk. Eight times a day and eleven times a night.

Is skim milk 100% milk, though?

Did you know — if Pulitzer Prize winners knew their book would go on to win a Pulitzer while writing the book, their book would never be finished, or even make it past the first draft?

How lactose intolerant are you — on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being “lactose lover” and 10 being “lactose enthusiast?”

Do I want to read this book because it’s already a bestseller or do I make this a bestseller by reading this — to Kristen Stewart?

How much does drinking skim milk influence skimming a book, Kindle or not? Don’t answer that if you haven’t won a Pulitzer Prize. Yet.

Which book would Kristen Stewart be reading now if she were a literate librarian — without skimming and if she hadn’t drunk skim milk, eight times a day and eleven times a night?

Which book would I recommend to myself if I were Kristen Stewart, and had she not become famous?

Which is better — a Pulitzer Prize or strong-smelling and robustly flavored RAW milk? Don’t answer that if you aren’t plant-based, watery textures nutty flavored ALMOND milk.

Which book would you recommend if you were famous only because I read a book on which your movie was based, even though the movie is worse than Kristen Stewart’s worst nightmare?

Should I read a book now OR watch a movie called Dare to Skim starring Kristen Stewart, a literate librarian, a true lactose intolerant, based on her worst nightmare, in which she drinks skim milk WITHOUT skimming, an hour before she accepts her Pulitzer Prize, in which she has 252 wpm in her speech for 252 minutes?

Don’t answer that if you ARE Kristen Stewart or a Pulitzer Prize winner. ONLY answer that if you skim this sentence, eight times a day and eleven times a night.

Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow MuddyUm and maybe Srini

A special thanks to T. Kent Jones whose wpm is 452 — at editing. How does he do it? He’s a lactose enthusiast.

You will become a famous literate librarian if you can read ANY of the titles below — without skimming while drinking skim milk: