Questioning Your Identity During the Pandemic
Why is your self-image being threatened?
We have transitioned away from the daily morning commute to the daily morning jaunt to the desk. It comes as no surprise that the functioning of our society has altered to a digital platform since the hit of the COVID-19 pandemic. Through this process, we have learned that there is a plethora of careers, meetings, educational classes, interviews, work, etc., that can effectively function in an online format.
Many people are ecstatic about the idea of continuing their remote work beyond the pandemic while others are anxious to get back to our pre-2020 routines. The Coronavirus forced Americans to change the way we work.
I am a high school English teacher who works with 16-year-olds, so I am also a bystander to a group of teenagers who are directly affected by digital learning. This generation that is smothered by the academic expectations of transitioning from in-person to digital learning is the same generation that seems to be outwardly struggling to cope with their decreasing mental health and motivational levels.
It seems that more than ever before, students are confidently communicating their apathy towards school.
It needs to be recognized that the overwhelming apathy does not stem from a hatred of school– their apathy cultivates from the absence of socialization. High school plays a major role in an adolescent’s identity development. In the Educational Psychology Review, “research indicates that a relatively clear and stable identity makes people more resilient, reflective, and autonomous in the pursuit of important life decisions while promoting a sense of competence”.
Students have been temporarily dispossessed of the opportunity to venture into and come to terms with their unfolding personalities. Instead of dealing with others, they are having to make peace with themselves. As a developing adolescent, this is not always manageable. They do not know who they are.
They are dealing with an identity crisis.
What is identity?
Identity is knowing and understanding who you are. Psychology Today defines identity as “the memories, experiences, relationships, and values that create one’s sense of self. This amalgamation creates a steady sense of who one is over time, even as new facets are developed and incorporated into one’s identity.”
Interactions and social conflicts that occur every day within schools and workplaces allow us to feel the pressure of how we are being perceived by others around us. We question our appearance, our attractiveness, and the image we are portraying while dealing with these mundane issues. We are aware of who we are in the social realm.
“Perception is reality. If you are perceived to be something, you might as well be it because that’s the truth in people’s minds” -Steve Young
Identity during the pandemic
Instead of being in the office, we are meeting on Zoom. Instead of being in a classroom, we are learning on Zoom. Instead of having intentional conversations that lead to betterment, we are meeting on Zoom. We are a small box on a screen. Our image is small. Our awareness of how we are shown is small. Online conferencing platforms are the variable that has taken the place of interaction and communication. Zoom, Google Meet, and other online video communication services are taking the place of socialization. Just like my population of teenage students experiencing distance learning, we might also be faced with an identity crisis. Everyone is susceptible to it.
We are only displaying half of ourselves for others to see.
An identity crisis happens when we become unsure of who we are, and our role in our reality has shifted. We become hesitant and unstable with ourselves. If we are unable to deal with the daily subconscious task of improving our self-esteem by being cognizant of our physical portrayal, then we are being herded into an enclosure where we are forced to evaluate our intelligence instead of our appearance. To be seen on an online conference platform, we have to verbally speak up and mentally show up to be ‘seen’. This is where our self-image is threatened.
Our human tendency is to generate a quick judgment about someone based on their physical appeal. If the burden of predetermined allurement is taken away by eliminating the social pressures, then in theory it seems that we should feel relieved. Finally– we can be seen for our minds and not our bodies!
So, why am I not relieved?
Why is it so difficult to show up for me and understand “who I am”?
Extrinsic vs. Intrinsic Motivations
As human beings, we are motivated by several factors. We are constantly in the pursuit of becoming motivated: We research how to become motivated, we read a variety of self-help books in the search of becoming motivated, we set photos as our screensavers in the hope that it will motivate us. We want to feel motivated.
There are two types of motivation to be aware of.
Extrinsic Motivations
Extrinsic motivations are the external motivations that work outside of ourselves to encourage us to do or complete something that will benefit us.
Kendra Cherry, MS, an author, educational consultant, and speaker, wrote that “extrinsic motivation refers to behavior that is driven by external rewards such as money, fame, grades, and praise. This type of motivation arises from outside the individual, as opposed to intrinsic motivation, which originates inside of the individual.”
Extrinsic motivations are powerful and work well for us in social settings.
Prior to the pandemic, we can argue that it was the extrinsic motivations that encouraged us to be the best. We have a natural desire to impress others. It feels good. There is nothing wrong with admitting to the fact that we want to be seen in a positive way. If we want to be recognized, we have to do something that is worthy of praise.
While in school, students can perform well on tests, make academic remarks, and create a positive persona around their identity. Their extrinsic motivation is the praise they receive from their teachers and/or their peers. This makes them feel good, so they continue doing it.
In a workplace, employees can propose new ideas and solutions, manage data and information, and effectively work with their coworkers to build their reputation. Similar to students, employees can receive positive feedback and praise from higher-ups. Once again, this makes them feel good, so they continue doing it.
Now that we can work in an online format, many extrinsic motivational factors have been removed. This means that we are relying on our intrinsic motivations.
Intrinsic Motivations
Intrinsic motivations are the internal motivations that arise from feeling fulfillment by doing or completing something that will benefit us. We have to rely on ourselves to get it done.
Kendra Cherry also writes that “intrinsic motivation refers to behavior that is driven by internal rewards. In other words, the motivation to engage in a behavior arises from within the individual because it is naturally satisfying to you.”
Intrinsic motivations are much more difficult for people to sustain because it only works if we can rely on ourselves to get tasks done. There are no immediate rewards aside from feeling content with what we did.
Reflecting on Pre-COVID, it was not necessary to tap into our intrinsic motivations because our extrinsic motivations were enough. We cared about how we were observed, how we could be praised, and how others would scrutinize us.
Why is your self-image being threatened?
Now that we are working from the comfort of our homes, we are having to alter the reason why we work. We are having to pull from our intrinsic motivation reserves. We have to work for the sake of enjoying the completion rather than the social rewards. It is new, and it is uncomfortable for many people to seek personal fulfillment just from working.
Discovering your identity
When we are able to accept that we need to start employing our intrinsic motivation, we can begin the process of finding ourselves again. Yes, it is easier said than done, but it can bring a sense of comfort to accept oneself more authentically. This is where we find our identity.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” — Aristotle
We can do ourselves a favor by exploring what makes us feel intrinsically motivated. By having a deep understanding of why we do things, we can become more at peace with who we are. This alone can build a healthier self-image.
According to Waterman, an American physicist, his Studies on the Role of the Intrinsic Motivation in Identity Formation state that:
“…intrinsic motivation might promote identity development because people with high autonomous motivation would be more agentic: they would be more prone to identifying the reasons for their actions and feel free to engage in them, therefore they would be more at ease with committing to goals, values, and beliefs.”
We have the opportunity to no longer be motivated simply by the perception of others– instead we can find the simple pleasure of feeling satisfied and accomplished by what we have done.
It is liberating to no longer need the immediate reward of approval from those around us. It is time for us to give permission to ourselves to be successful.