SATIRE|POETRY

Queens and Kings of Snarky Malarkey

There’s plenty of badassery to go around

So many to mention oh where do I start, It’s their wit and their snap that sets them apart, At a loss for a comeback I don’t think it’s possible, With zings and put-downs they hold us responsible.

This first queen I don’t think to many she’s foreign, She’s been slinging her bite here for so many years, Kept us laughing and smiling through all of the tears, Our own classy queen of the snark Roz Warren.

But wait folks this is certainly just the begin, For another queen definitely has her some cred, This Chicago beauty with her lips pouty and red, Snarky queen yes it’s her — hello Sherry McGuinn.

We have kings that serve snarky malarky just so, Take this ranter, his banter of which we are proud, His subtle sly piques they stand out in a crowd, ‘Tis none other than king Lon Shapiro.

But I have to admit and I’ll offer a toast, This king’s certainly got a wonderful package, And his quips he does often well manage, We know him as the mighty Charles Roast.

Not to ever be left by herself in the cellar, This queen’s traveled the world back and forth, Though she lives in a place that’s up north, She brings heat that’s our queen Kristi Keller.

As badassery goes we really ain't shabby, Here’s a king who loves to vacation, The Black Sea was his last ministration, King of snarky malarky Brian Abbey.

As the snark battles go she has most of them won, What she writes the New Yorker won’t print, Cause her bite on a whim she’ll commit, It’s our queen of comebacks Denise Shelton.

We have legends of snark who are sage, A grand-dame of us all over eighty, Still her comebacks are quick and so weighty, Snarks from Helen Cassidy Page.

There is one who can so drop the hammer, And she’s proudly proclaimed she’s a smarty, Cause this really ain’t yo mamma’s tea party, She’s a queen who brings it Robin Klammer.

Now satirical sharp wit you’ll see, When our soloprenure’s online with her tea, Misogynistic dolts get a punch two or three, And get put in their place by our Gillian Sisley.

This king’s poetry rings bright as a tiara, And his message he’ll often eschew, Calling out the wrong things that we do, He’s our IdiotPoet kurt gasbarra.

There are more, many more when we all come together, Like our next king who willingly calls all the shots, He’ll speak truth whether you seem to like it or not, One with Gaia, this Earthling’s called White Feather.

This last king is the communities’ darlin’ He’s got a bit of wit but don’t be a fool, If you cross the line he’ll take you to school, A song’s done wrong in SDW with Mark Starlin.

With all these kings and the queens I must say, These are just the tip of the ice, We have more in our tribe who will gladly suffice, To stop what they’re doing and bite off a slice, Of one’s butt if they choose to enter the fray.

Now you don’t have to take it from me, Check them out read their stuff and you’ll see, They will gladly report with a stunning retort, Kings and queens of snarky malarkey.

Thank you so much for reading. You didn’t have to, but I’m certainly glad you did.

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© P.G. Barnett, 2020. All Rights Reserved.