Python Is Not the Only Snake in My Life

Sometimes a snake's venom is less poisonous.

Pythons kill their prey by wrapping around them and crushing them to death. They kill by suffocating their prey or by inducing cardiac arrest.

But we are not talking about snakes here.

I like Python — the programming language. It has a simple syntax with lots of supporting libraries. Its web frameworks are great. And it is perfect for data science and machine learning.

Unlike Python, a lot of things in life do not come with the same simplicity. Life has lots of twists and turns. One cannot always predict where life is headed.

We need anchors in life to hold on to. Sometimes they are our family members or our friends. People who can help you keep your head in the game because it becomes quite easy to get lost in the chaos.

My anchor was my friends. I had a great bunch. We were together for more than a decade. We spent our entire childhood together. Even though, we were of the same age group. I looked up to them. We knew each other very well and shared everything. Then we became adults.

Things started to change. We were not sharing anything with each other. We often had no time to meet or discuss our life. Behaviors changed. My anchor was falling apart. I was perplexed. I never thought my friends would turn out like this. Our considerate friendship became toxic quickly.

I decided to leave.

We had a few more arguments. They were not ready for my decision. Everything was normal according to them. But I knew something has changed.

Friendship was feeling like a chore. I felt exhausted and drained of energy. My friends became energy vampires. And I was not willing to accept the new reality.

I became a burden.

I was never the fun guy. I don’t like to talk a lot. I was reserved. Sometimes mistaken for being shy. I enjoyed solitude more than the casual Saturday night hangout. I avoided social events. Or let's say I never got the chance to attend a lot of them. Ever heard this before? — I was an introvert.

Being an introvert does not mean that one should suffer. According to MBTI global sample, 56.8% of the population prefer introversion. That is more than half of the world population.

Same report suggests that introverts are leaders. Countries like Russia, Singapore, and Malaysia have the highest percentage of introverted leadership. Almost 39% of leaders in the USA prefer being introvert. It is a personality trait.

We have a whole day named after us — World Introvert Day, January 2nd.

Why was I suffering then? Let’s say I was misunderstood.

My friends and I were living in a bubble. And when puberty hit, it hit us hard. Egos started to develop. But it did not show up until later. It waited for the right moment to appear and destroyed everything we built for a decade.

Remember the python I mentioned at the start — the snake. I was feeling wrapped around and being choked. But that is not the only reason to call them ‘snakes’.

After a bit of tussle, I was finally able to leave everything behind. I had moved on. It took some effort. But I finally found peace and tranquility.

Until last year, when they decided to reach out to me again. They apologized for their behavior. It seemed sincere. But something didn’t feel right.

I thought maybe I am overthinking. After all, we were ‘best friends’. I decided to give it another shot and attended a couple of hangouts. I was going against my instincts and my instincts were right.

Nothing changed.

Paulo Coelho once tweeted:

“Everyone deserves a second chance but not for the same mistake.”

Same old egos that had further grown and matured over the past few years of our separation. Best friends became fake friends. And I could finally see it.

We finally had the ‘big fight’ that was always meant to happen during one of our hangouts. It never happened earlier because I left without saying a word. I left them without sharing how I felt. I left them without giving them any closure. Their egos were not able to handle such a rejection.

I could see the plot now. Reaching out to me was never a sincere effort. It was to lure their prey into an ambush. Waiting for the right moment — years. I finally understood the meaning of “Revenge is a dish best served cold”. It was their revenge.

What hurt me the most was that even though I had anticipated the fight. It was below the belt. I could have never expected the things said during the fight coming from my best fake friends.

Little did they know, that I had already learned to live without them — thanks to introversion. I thought while writing this story a lot of memories would come back. But my mind is blank. I could not remember any fond memories we made. I have embraced my true self and learned to be happy within my own space.

Even after all the drama, I don’t hate them. I have learned a great deal about life from my ‘best friends’. They have made me the person I am. And I am at a better place in my life. I wish them nothing but well-being and success in their life with the hopes to never cross paths again.

How did I move on?

I did not care about any of them. It took some time like everything else.

I shifted my mindset from being dependent on my anchors to being dependent on myself. I came into this world all alone. Like most people. I mean if I had a twin, that would have been a different story. And I would leave this world alone as well. I became my own support.

“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” — Robert Holden

Do I need anyone in life? Yes, for sure. We are living in a global village. Introvert or not, you have to interact with people on a daily basis. But it does not mean, that you become best friends with them and share all your feelings.

Also, I have become more vocal now. I have opinions and I am not afraid to speak them out loud.

Key Takeaways

• Introversion is a personality trait often misunderstood. Be confident in yourself.
• Try to find a balance between introversion and extroversion, if you want to find your happy space.
• Try to identify toxic relationships in life. Be it a friend, a family member, or a lover. The earlier, the better.
• Ego fuels toxicity.
• Giving closure is the best way to avoid further havoc.
• Never doubt your instincts.
• Forgive but never forget.
• People don’t change often.
• This leads to, be careful while giving second chances. It may turn out to be the worst decision of your life.
• Try to develop a habit of anticipating events. When bad things happen as per your anticipation, the damage is less severe.