Inspiration

Pushing Through Ruminating Anxiety with Resolute Passion in 2022

What is your word of the year?

“Once you are clear about what you wish to create, you can maintain a steady stream of thoughts — unwavering, resolute, and focused.” ― Dr Prem Jagyasi

Deciding on one word to encapsulate the year is overwhelming. As I think of the endless possibilities, my brain shuts down.

Since I can remember, I’ve suffered from anxiety and panic attacks. Well, I should say, since my teenage years and on.

Prior to puberty, I was a typical kid with no cares in the world. My biggest problem was deciding which treat to pick out when the ice cream truck paid a visit to our neighborhood during the summer.

Now, as another year begins, it’s time to reflect on the year that has flown by and the year that is upon us. The goals. The daily to-do lists. Balancing family with work responsibilities. My mind races with all that I wish to accomplish, freezing me in place instead of pushing me forward.

I’m trying to remind myself to be kind to myself after having two weeks off from school and most life responsibilities outside of getting ready for Christmas.

A part of me is sad the relaxation time with family is over. While on winter break, our family watched the next season of Lost in Space on Netflix (highly recommend, by the way).

Of course, as a writer, I love words and for some reason, when I heard the name of the colony ship, Resolute, while watching this latest season, the word stuck out to me. The ship’s purpose was to transport explorers to a new planet, as life on Earth was not sustainable any longer.

When I looked up the meaning of the word, I realized I found my word for 2022.

From Oxford Languages:

res·o·lute /ˈrezəˌl(y)o͞ot/

adjective

admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.

example: “she was resolute and unswerving.”

Today on this first day back to reality, I felt anxiety pulling me down, whispering in my ear, “You can’t do all this. You’re not good enough. You should quit.”

I decided to get outside where I find peace and run an errand for a friend who lives in an assisted living facility. It was a simple task, but it got me out of my head while shopping.

When I walked into her room, I found her sitting in a chair, looking like she was in slight pain. I asked her where I should place her bag of masks and hand soap. As I wished her a happy new year, she smiled a wide grin that lit up her face and mine.

As I drove home, I realized how blessed I am that I’m healthy and able to do the things I do each day.

It was a reminder to push through the negative thoughts with resolute passion, understanding I don’t have any time to waste on the thoughts that swirl in my head that create a false narrative.

Enough is enough and I’m enough.

“When you know you’re ENOUGH!

When you stop focusing on all things that you’re not. When you stop fussing over perceived flaws. When you remove all imposed and unbelievable expectations on yourself. When you start celebrating yourself more. When you focus on all that you are. When you start believing that your perceived flaws are just that — perception…”

― Malebo Sephodi

I would love to know what is your word(s) for the year? Share in the comments!

Inspiration

I wrote this article in response to Trista Signe Ainsworth’s prompt:

Thank you Trista for your continuous inspiration and this publication!

✍ Written by Ellie Jacobson, @2022 all rights reserved.

✨ I’m a freelance writer and editor from Minnesota, writing my first novel, a psychological suspense novel. Are you a writer? Check out Sparks, my newsletter filled with writing prompts to spark your creativity.

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